skybluepink

woo hoo! germany beat argentina just now. my hands hurt from clapping. the game went into over time, sudden death, then kick off. argentina missed 2 of 5 goals and germany got all of its goals. yipee!

there's a tv in the colleague cafeteria and a couple of us kept going down there at different points of the game to watch. i also had espn up on my computer. the kick off was the best part.

only three of us who were watching weren't mexican...but german. no one else was interested. but that's okay. it's more fun to watch stuff with people who are really interested, especially sports.

i bet wuschi is stoked! :)

one day i want to make it to a world cup game. they were in los angeles a few years ago, okay, more than a few years ago, but sadly, i never made it to a game.

the countdown to hawaii has begun. today is my last day at work for a glorious week and a half. i'm going to try to sneak out early 'cause i scheduled a hair cut at 3:30 and just don't want to be here until then. i have stuff to keep me busy until about mid~day, then hopefully, i'll be able to take off.

yesterday we had yet another dress code meeting. turns out i will now have to wear a friggen blazer every day. this sucks so much! i haven't had to do that since i worked at the capitol a few years ago, and even then i didn't have to do it everyday. grr. so today is day one of the new dress code. luckily, i still have suits. yesterday i bought a new black suit from banana, but it was on sale, so that was good. i bought a suit at the begining of the summer, a blue and white seersucker one, so i'm wearing the blazer with black slacks and a sassy lacy camisol today. this is going to be interesting, though, as we don't have air conditioning and since it's summer, it's pretty hot outside. and they nylons are being strictly enforced as well, so while i was so free and carefree for the past two weeks in my pretty skirts, i will be free no more. so sad.

i'm going to dinner tonight for a girlfriend's birthday. i'm a loser because i totally forgot to make her a card. the week just went by and i forgot. plain and simple, i forgot. at least i have a gift for her. i have to jet out right after my hair appointment 'cause i have to drive over to sac for dinner. i'm not worried about the sac part, though, since i'll be meeting her at her house in davis, then driving with her up to roseville for dinner. i didn't get in trouble with my drinking at either place, or with her, so i feel safe. sac still gives me troubles, though. i still don't think i could handle going downtown or near my old neighborhood, especially the liquior store!

atty kept me up agin last night so i'm a bit sleepy right now and the coffee hasn't kicked in yet. c almost threw him in the garage last night because he was so hyper. he decided it was a great idea to start chasing ghosts at oh, 2:30 in the am and didn't really stop until almost 4.

grumble grumble. but i'm going to miss him when we're in hawaii. so soft and fuzzy, he is.

what a night last night turned out to be. i did some boring stuff at home like pay bills and such, then took a nap. luckily, one of my girlfriends called and the phone ringing woke me up. i didn't answer her call because i had to head out to a meeting where i collected my 9 month chip. it was cool. one of my friends came just because i was going to get a chip. it was so nice of him. i felt really good and proud of myself.

then i drove home. (c had driven himself there because he had gone out to dinner before with a few guys to celebrate their sobriety bdays).

on my way home i got pulled over by the sherrif. it was awful. he was such an asshole. i was going 50 mph in a 55 mph zone, so i knew that part was fine. nothing was wrong with my car, so i knew i was fine there. my registration is all up to date, so i knew i was fine there as well. well this guy evidently had a big hard on for the law and had to show is lady partner how to do the job, so he pretty much harrased me. he accused me of being drunk and on drugs. i told him that i had just left an aa meeting where i had recieved my 9 month chip. he flashed his flash light all over my car and asked what perscription drugs i was on. i told him i wan't on any and he since my purse was open on the passenger seat, he saw my anti anxiety meds and asked to see the bottle. i handed it to him and he harrased me about those. i told him i take those on an as needed basis, like asprin for a headache and it's more psyosomatic that i have them with me anyhow since its been so long since i've actually taken one. he glared at me like i was lying to him. he flashed his flashlight around my car some more and got gruffy with me again. then he focused on my ipod, wanting to make a comment about that, but couldn't come up with anything besides asking me if it was indeed an ipod. he snapped at me for my license and registration and left me to be shocked in my car. i totally lost it when he walked away. he really shook me up. he was even more pissed when he came back because i did absolutely nothing wrong. no tail lights were out. nothing is on my record. i wasn't drunk. or on drugs. he snapped that i need to be more careful because he had pulled me over for a dui. well so sad for him, because i was totally clean.

i drove home very shook up. i just lost it. all i could do when i got home was sit at the kitchen table and cry. atticuls sat in my lap. i love that guy. i then ate a whole container of cottage cheese with pinapple. that was my dinner.

by the time c got home i was a little better. i told him what had happened and he was pissed. he said by the time he had passed the spot where i was pulled over, the sherrif had pulled someone else over. he said the sherrif was probablly even more pissed off by then since he had nothing on me so he had to let his anger out on another victim. i'm glad the night was over.

it just started raining here. not cats and dogs raining, but more like a heavy sprinkle. i like it; everything smells crisp and fresh outside. i hope it last for more than just a little bit...like the whole afternoon at least. wonder what c will do if he can't water. HA.

i FINALLY got a cd drive installed on my laptop at work. (don't even ask). so now i can play music at my desk, totally illegal at work, of course. i'm listening to the wedding singer soundtrack. music makes my life so much better.

speaking of illegal things at work, we were reminded once again that we are to wear hose anytime we wear a dress or a skirt, cover all visiable tattoos and wear closed toe/heal shoes. well, there goes my wardrobe, again. i had one exhillarating week of wearing skirts without hose. hose is evil. i will not conform, which is sad, because it is way too hot to wear hose so i can no longer wear skirts or dresses to work. and they want us to wear blazers if we are not wearing a button up shirt. hell no am i buying anymore clothes for this evil place. i have a few blazers but i will not wear them in 100 degree hit. we don't have air conditioning, damn it! there is such a thing as being too conservative. hell, make us wear a uniform if it's going to be like that.

okay, enough of my rant. the sun is out again and it's only misting now. i'm going to go look for a rainbow.

so there's this obnoxious group on property this week. they are in the conference room directly adjacent to where i sit. they have configured the room so that the doors do not close so i am so lucky to be able to hear their entire program. the best part of this is that the speaker sounds exactly like wallace sean, the guy who played vizzini in the princess bride and mr. hall in clueless. he even gets loud and excited like wallace sean. it was amusing the first 5 minutes, now it's just obnoxious. lucky me, their program goes until 5 pm today. and he is standing about 50 feet from where i sit and is pretty much shouting. loverly.

i finished my book, holy cow, last night and i want to go to india sooo bad now. i've wanted to for a while, but now, i really want to go. it just is such a different world than any i have ever visited and intrigues me very much.

i am looking forward to going to hawaii next week, though. my new bathing suit, flip flops and books have arrived. it's taking all i've got to not start reading the books, though. i really really hope c is able to relax and be nice to me. i hate being on eggshells. he keeps telling me i'm acting like a victim, which is so not true. anytime i tell him how i feel, he turns it around on me, which is lame.

i went to a meeting last night and made plans to have lunch on saturday with one of the gals there. we're going to a greasy spoon in town and i'm looking forward to it. greasy food is good. mmmm.

i'm going to another meeting tonight so i can collect my 9 month chip. there's a good birthday meeting on the last wednesday of the month that i like going to. there is another birthday meeting on the last friday, but it's not a very good meeting so i rarely go to that one. i'll go to another one tomorrow night as well. i have found that going to at least 3 meetings a week, tuesday, wednesday and thursday, work the best for me. sometimes i'll go on friday if i have nothing else going on and there is a different monday meeting that i sometimes go to, but that's about it. i like to keep my weekends free. if i feel i really need to go, i will go to a women's meeting on saturday morning, but i haven't been to that one in forever.

next week when we're in hawaii, we're going to go to meetings there. c discovered a good meeting when we were there for our honeymoon that meets at 8 am every morning. we'll see if i can get up that early when i'm on holiday! i'm sure i'll find others if that one is too early, though.

c keeps getting on me about my sobriety, but i know i'm doing just fine. i go to meetings, talk to people in the program and feel good about myself. i haven't talked to my sponsor in a while and i'm not working the steps right now, but for me, that's okay. the steps are a bit daunting to me and i'm not so sure about them. i really need to work on myself before i can grasp the meaning of them. perhaps i am looking too deeply into them, but for now, this is what i need to do. i am feeling better spiritually, and for me, that's a huge step.

i've started working on making cards. my colleague's cat died over the weekend and i made a nice card for her and had my department sign it. she really liked it, as did another colleague who also had a friend whose dog had recently died and she asked me to make a card for her. so i did that last night. it felt good to have a request. i also made my mom a retirement card as she retires on friday. i wonder what she'll complain about now...i shouldn't worry, though, she'll find something soon enough!

i in a very meloncholy mood today. i don't really want to be at work, nor do i want to be at home if c is there. we went to bed last night still not speaking to each other. he kicked me durning the night in his deep sleep. he's angry with me because he think i intentionally killed his garden, which i didn't. i told him i watered and he doesn't believe me. whatever. there's only so much i can do. anyhow, i think we're still not on speaking terms, which is interesting. i hate tension. but i also hate the silent treatment. i grew up with the silent treatment so i don't like it at all.

i just ordered a few books from amazon: Learning Curves by Gemma Townley, Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and Where I'm From by George Ella Lyon. i'm going to take these, along with several copies of The New Yorker (which I have yet to read) with me on my trip to hawaii next week. i am looking forward to laying on the beach and doing nothing but relaxing. i hope to god that we are not still dealing with this whole silent treatment thing, because believe me, it's getting really old.

this is where i'd like to be right now. the weekend is pretty much over, and for that i am glad. it was a weekend of ups and downs and i am looking forward to getting some sleep, which will hopefully be restful.

last night was the first night of my girlfriend's bachelorette party. she rented a house near mine and all the other girls traveled here yesterday after work. the house she rented is gorgeous. it's up in the hills, so it overlooks the whole valley. it's so pretty and peaceful.

we headed down the hill for dinner and ended up going to a place that c and i go to pretty much every week. it was so great to be out with 5 other girls. i really miss girl time. our server (who is the husband of one of the girls i work with) was so great. he treated us like queens and made us laugh. he hooked the girls up with margaritas and treated us to a yummy plate of appetizers. everyone had such a great time.

i guess i was just so excited to be with a bunch of great girls that i ended up treating everyone to dinner. i made sure my credit card went out and that no one could give me money, even though the girls all tried. okay, well, all the girls except for my friend's sister, but she's a totally different story! they were all really surprised at my generosity, and i was just thinking it was a nice thing to do. i also hate the fighting over the bill, the trying to figure out what everyone owes and the bickering that comes with a group of girls trying to do math. it was just easier to pay. besides, i'm not going wine tasting with them today, taking part in the limo, or staying at the house. i felt that i needed to do something to contribute a little more to the weekend.

after dinner, some of the girls went bake to the house, and my friend and two other girls stopped by my house. i gave them the rest of the booze that we have left over from before i stopped drinking. it was good to get that out of the house since it was just sitting here.

this afternoon i'm going to meet the girls in town at a local pizza place for lunch. later, i'll meet them for dinner. my girlfriend gave us the cutest tank tops to wear out tonight. they are black with pink writing and each girl's shirt is specialized just for her. mine says "will trade husband for shoes". it's absolutely perfect for me! i am such a shoe whore! hehe. i love it. i will totally wear it other times besides out tonight. so cute.

c is off to the bachelor party this weekend so i have the house to myself. i was going to go for a run this morning, but i decided to have a coffee instead. i guess i should do some chores...the laudry is a bit of a mess...but maybe i'll just blow that off and go get a mani instead. :)

i just saw the most disturbing thing. tweedle dumb just showed up for work wearing tight white pants with dark underwear. i just don't understand how she doesn't get the fact that she should not be wearing things like that. no one looks good in outfits like that, but she looks even worse. visiable panty lines are never acceptable, especially when you have a rather enormous ass, like she does. her outfits are just so wrong on so many levels.

again. i must reiterate: i have nothing against people who are heavy. some of my closest friends are heavy. i love them dearly and don't even notice their weight. but the difference between my friends and tweedle dumb is that my friends actually acknowledge that they are heavy and dress totally appropriately and they always look great. she, does not. she always looks awful. i swear she thinks she's a size 2. and she really needs to stop shopping at forever 21 for work clothes. it's just not right.

it was so friggen hot today. sweltering is more like it. i think it topped out at 105 this afternoon. way too hot. way too hot in a town that doesn't have a lot of air conditioning. even my work is without. luckily, where i sit is nice and cool. but the rest of the property is steaming hot. my house was so hot when i got home this afternoon, too. poor, kitty! he was just flopped out on the kitchen floor when i came home. the garden was wilted, everything looked sad and drained of energy. but, luckily, the fog has rolled in this evening so it's nice and comfortable outside. i have the whole house open and it's slowly cooling down.

atticus now has a girlfriend. ida, the neighbors outside cat has discovered atticus, and vice versa. they have been sitting on either side of the window for the better part of the evening. it's sweet, really. even when i was outside watering, ida was just laying under the window and barely batted an eye as i watered right next to her.

i'm so glad tomorrow is friday. i can't wait to sleep in on saturday! getting to work at 7 am really kills me. even though i get off at 3:30 pm, and i can go home and nap, it's just not the same as being able to sleep in, just even a little.

so. efffing. tired. want. to. go. home. and. nap. with. the. kitty. can't. concentrated. anymore.

maybe eating lunch will help...

i am now addicted to whipped cream in my coffee. fresh whipped cream, not the cream from the can, either. luckily, all the folks in the pastry kitchen like me and offer me the yummie goodness whenever i walk by with my coffee cup. makes the day that much better.

i was up late last night talking to c about my sobriety. it was a really good conversation, but i am dead dog tired today. basically, i have a lot of soul searching to do, which i already knew. i really need to work on some things and need to work on getting those things done. vague enough for you?? i'm not sure i'll make it to a meeting tonight as i'm pretty beat right now and tonight's meeting is a late one. but since i went the last two days and i'll be going tomorrow, it's fine if i miss tonight. i'm just not connecting with the right people at the meetings that i go to. he suggested that i start going to all women meetings and i guess i just might start to do that. there's one on saturday morning at 10:30, so i think i'll try that one out again. today is 9 months me, and while i definitly notice a change since i first got sober, i'm not exactly working things the way i should be. anywho, we'll see what happens.

this weekend my girlfriend will be in town for her bachelorette party. it'll be a good time, well, at least i hope it will. i'm only meeting them for dinner each night as they will be off wine tasting during the day and i'm not really into that anymore. :) but these girls aren't big drinkers so they won't be a huge mess like i used to be.

c is going to a bachelor party this weekend so i will have the house to myself, which will be nice. the weather is going to be hot again, so i don't want to do much of anything this weekend, except to stay cool.

since my trip to hawaii is 2 weeks from tomorrow, i'm looking for some good books to take along with me. your suggestions are most appreciated.....