skybluepink

so as you can see, i have changed my blog, yet again. i liked the other one, but i didn't like not having the blogger bar on the top where i could log in. i always had to go to 'update my profile' then had to click on 'home' to get the sign in page. too much effort. plus, as much as i liked the flowers on the top, it got boring as the page went on. i really like this new page, but i'm not too keen on the extra tabs on top. oh well. so what do you think? do you like this page, or the other one better?

another new thing is the NaBloPoMo widget on the side. if you click on it, you can see my page over there and be my friend and write along with me! i am going to attempt to write every day for the month of november. i am hoping this will help me really get serious with my writing. but we'll see...

tomorrow is halloween, my most favorite holiday. i think it's my favorite because it's really the start of the fall for me. i love seeing the kids trick-or-treating, especially the little ones. i love the carved pumpkins glowing around the neighborhood. i love the crispness in the air and the leaves that have changed colors. everything seems to glow all that much more on all hallows eve. it's very magical, and i like that.

i have a pair of little devil horns that i have worn for the last 2 years and will wear them tomorrow. they are attached to barrettes so they clip right into my hair and look pretty cool. if i remember, i'll take a picture. i like them because they are discreet enough to wear around even the most conservative of people without causing too much of a fuss. plus i look cute in them.

i was also adopted way back when on halloween. i was six weeks old. my dad dressed up as the jolly green giant and i was a pea and he introduced me to the neighbors.

are any of you dressing up tomorrow? and if so, what will you be?

this is totally the year of the baby. so many of my friends are having little ones, it's hard to keep track! it makes sense, though, since we all started settling down a few years ago, that this would happen.

i have always been against having children myself, even before i met hubby. now, i have a tiny kernal of want. it's been growing bigger and bigger since i saw photos of my friend's baby a while ago. but that being said, it's only a kernal. as soon as i go somewhere and see screaming children, that kernal dissapears. same goes for thinking of a kid being left with my in-laws.

anyhow, i'm always interested in how people pick their children's names. i have friends who knew right away what they would name it, and others who had no clue. some used favorite characters in books or films, others used family names.

some friends kept the names they picked a secret until the birth, others told as soon as they figured it out.

this has got me thinking what names i like and don't like. here's my list of names i do like (i don't want to offend anyone by listing those i don't like):

what about you? what names do you like? and would you tell the name you picked right away or wait until your child was born?

i am so glad it's saturday. yesterday was a loooong day. my boss left early and one of the guys in my department pulled his 'i don't have to listen to shell' routine again. i'm over it. i let my bosses boss know what was going on and a conversation will be had on monday. this job is so much different than my previous jobs. the people here actually listen to me and value what i have to say. it's great. hubby commented this week that this is the first job that i have had since he has known me where i don't talk about it when i come home. it really does make a difference to work somewhere that i am happy at.

last night i went to a meeting then out to dinner with hubby, my sponsor, her husband and another friend. i had the hardest time paying attention during the meeting. i was so wound up! then afterwards i was just nutty. hubby said if there was a job that required a shit talker, i would definitely be the one for the job. i was on a total roll. i was cracking myself up. it didn't really stop at dinner either. luckily, everyone thought i was funny, too. i finally settled down once the food arrived, though.

as we were leaving, my sponsor made some comment on how she wants to hear from me more as she feels i don't call her enough. i said, jokingly, that the last time i checked, the phone worked both ways. she responded saying that she NEVER calls sponcees. geesh. i do have issue with this. i understand the theory of me needing to call my sponsor, but good lord. would it seriously hurt for her to pick up the phone every once in a while? and seriously? i'm not going to call her if i feel like picking up a drink. i'll call someone else. i'll call a girlfriend who understands me and knows me. yeah, i know my sponsor. but really? does she really care? i have no idea. that's the problem with aa. see, you're not supposed to say no if someone asks for help. on one hand, i understand that. totally. on the other, if you don't want to help them, why are you saying yes? just because you are supposed to? that's lame. maybe it's my whole 'i just want people to like me' thing. but if someone is so ambivalent about me, i really have a hard time with it. people have told me that you don't want to be friends with your sponsor. to think of a sponsor as a sort of therapist. but they are not a therapist. they are just someone who has the same addiction as i do. someone who understands what is going on. i don't understand why they can't be my friend, too.

i guess it's good that i have other friends in aa, but still. it's tiring. when i don't call my sponsor, i feel like she is disappointed in me and i'm so tired of that. hubby does the same thing. i get the tough love thing. really, i do. i grew up with it and i married into it. enough, already.

*sigh*

in other news...i just got a fun new book called 'love your handwriting'. you see, i'm a nerd and practice my penmanship all the time. really, i do. i write the alphabet over and over when i'm bored. anyhow, when i was at a baby shower last weekend, the girl hosting the shower is a big scrapbooker and told me about the book. so naturally, i had to have it. it arrived yesterday and is soo great! i highly recommend it. :) needless to say, i will be playing all weekend with it. after i clean the house, of course.

oh, and last night, hubby noticed the earrings i was wearing. some darling cross earrings from the fabulous wendy. anyhow, he asked if i was a templar in a prior life. nice, hubby. real nice. so naturally, i said i was. :)

so my dad got sent home from work yesterday because the air was so bad. and the offices are closed again today. he said that you can't even see irvine because there's so much ash in the air. and the worst part is that many of these fires are due to arson. assholes.

and i just talked to a girlfriend who lives in san diego and she and her husband were evacuated earlier today. they're now staying with friends. her brother and sister in law got evacuated as well and have scrambled to find somplace safe to stay too.

then, last night, i was watching cops on tv. but when the show went to commercial, i kept hearing sirens. hubby opened up our front door to see cop cars from surrounding towns driving by. a police helicopter was also hovering overhead. wtf? we live in a small town where there is pretty little crime. now, i'm not saying crime doesn't happen here, it just doesn't happen often. and it's usually pretty minor when it does happen.

so this morning as i was reading the paper online, i found out that a 16 year old kid was shot about 2 miles from my house last night. apparently, it was a gang shooting and the 24 year old suspect is still at large. nice. oh, and it was at a park that hubby and i frequent. right across from the boys and girls center.

wtf is going on these days?!

i recently read an article about tiffany's opening a new branch of stores. the focus of these stores is to entice women to buy their own jewelry. you see, these stores will only offer their sterling line, no sparkly diamonds or anything like that.

and i don't like the idea one bit.

now, don't get me wrong. i love me some tiffany's. and i have purchased things for myself from the sterling room and have received some goodies as gifts as well. but, oh how i love to wander through the other room full of all the sparkling goodies. and there's just something so fun and breathtaking about going to tiffany's. and those little blue boxes with their white ribbon ~ red during the holidays ~ are such a treat.

i would be sad to go to a store that only carries sterling. it wouldn't be as fun or as decadent. or as special.

what do you think?

http://sbpthots.blogspot.com/2007/03/well-here-it-is-folks.html

another goofy day at work. people sure get riled up over the smallest things. i'm just staying out of people's way, all tucked away in my little office. just had a pb&j and some coffee, so i'm good to go for a bit.

just got a call from a friend i hadn't talked to in a long time. funny, i was talking about him just this weekend with my friend i went to dinner with on saturday. i told him his ears must have been ringing.

talked to my mom a little bit ago. my dad has some work this week in orange county, right in the middle of the fires. he took the train (from LA) so he didn't have to drive, which is good. he just had cataract and lasik on his eyes, so they're a bit sensitive. plus he's not as spry as he once was, so his reaction time while driving isn't what it once was.

the weather has warmed up a bit so i'm wearing a skirt and a short sleeved blouse today. i have to keep my cardigan on hand though, since i have a tatoo on my arm that needs to be covered up when i'm out of my office. god forbid anyone here see it and realize what a freak i am. HA.

hubby and i started to get caught up on season 3 of the best show ever, the office. it is hands down my favorite show. so great.

sadly, that's all i have so far today....maybe there will be more later.

so dinner was great fun ~ we split a brie and garlic appetizer and both had very scrumptious salads and for some reason, i was so full, i didn't want desert, which is so unlike me! we chatted for a good long time and had loads of good gossip to share. :)

but, about half way thru dinner i was exhausted. i don't know if i'm just so relaxed from my massage or if i'm coming down with something. but, i'm going to head to bed with my new book, the huntress by susan carroll, and whisk myself back to 1585 england.

sweet dreams, everyone!

i had the most delicious massage this afternoon. i feel like a totally new person. my upper back was just knotted up so bad. i had good intentions to run errands afterwards, but i was just jello when i was done, so i couldn't. i knew i was tense, but i had no idea just how much i was holding in.

i'm meeting a girlfriend for dinner in about a half an hour and should start to get ready for that. i haven't gone out in a while so it'll be fun. and i finally wrote and mailed all my thank you cards today. yipee! i only had to get 6 more out, but it took me a freaking month to so that. i was going to make the cards, but since it was taking me so long i just wrote them on regular stationary.

okay, so the laziness bug has bitten me yet again since i'm still lounging on the couch with atty and i need to leave in 20 minutes and i haven't started getting ready to go yet.

damn 'catching up with the kardashians'......!!!

my head hurts. and so does my back. it's been a bit of a day. i woke up late, but didn't really have to rush around too much, but hubby was in a bit of a mood, again. he says it's me, but i really don't think so.

we have a a lot going on at work right now so everyone is a bit more frantic. well, not everyone, and definitely not the guys that i work with. they still like to take their sweet time on everything. but, that's how it goes. i took a few photos on my way in to work this morning so i will have to post them when i get home. the weather has been cold and rainy with sun in the afternoon. it is so beautiful where i work. the other day there was a doe right outside my office. she was so pretty. and there are banana slugs all over too. they're so funny looking.


hubby is going away for the weekend to visit his brother. i have nothing planned except for a much needed massage on saturday afternoon. i'm also hoping to have breakfast with a girlfriend and meet another one for coffee, so we'll see how that all pans out. oh! and i also have a baby shower to go to on sunday for my friend who had her baby early. the baby is doing well and has gained a little weight, now weighing a little over 4lbs. and she is breastfeading now, which is wonderful. my friend says her little one will need to stay in the hospital for another month, then will be able to come home.

hubby and i have decided to take a mini vacation over thanksgiving so we don't have to spend time with either of our families. we're going to head to the town where we went to college, on the central coast, and i can't wait. it's mosty his family we don't want to spend time with. and we just need some time away. we told his mom last night that we were going. she gets weird about us not being around for holidays so we try to give her as much notice as we can.

i only have a half hour until i get to go home. yay. hopefully that'll go by nice and fast...

big props goes to miss gina for posting the link to this sweet new blog design on her site. go check her out. i've gotta git to a family dinner. oh, the joy!

so i'm hanging out at home right now with atty cuddled up on my lap. you see, there was an enormous storm last night at a tree fell down at my work. pg&e (pacific gas and electric for those of you not around here) was called to remove the tree since it fell on a few power lines. as they so skillfully cut down the tree, they also severed the phone line in 3 different places, thereby disconnecting 1200 lines surrounding and including my work. so, that means that no one on our property can access our server, the internet or the phone. so work has virtually stopped. since the server is down, i can't access my blackberry, either, except for the phone part which really is of no use since everything else is down.

so, i was sent home. i spent the first 3 hours of the day watching t.v, drinking coffee, texting with terry and playing a game on my bberry. they don't expect the lines to go up anytime soon so it was silly for me to keep sitting there. at&t is now working on restoring everything but since they move at the pace of cold molasseses, i'm glad i'm not there.

besides, now i get to have lunch with two of my girlfriends in town. yay~!

tonight we're going out for my mil's birthday. but, oh what drama that was getting it organized. you see, not only is hubby obnoxiously selfish, so is the rest of his family. they tend to only think of themselves and no one else, which is so annoying. anyhow, his mom is big on going out for birthdays so earlier this week i asked his dad what the plan was. i got some fussy answer back saying how busy everyone was and that we were just going to 'scrap' her birthday dinner. um...what? so hubby called his mom last night and she explained how my fil and plans the next three nights. who schedules stuff on his wife's birthday? oh yeah. my fil.

so i told hubby that we should just take his mom out ourselves. he said to me, " that's a good idea. i would have never of thought of that." um...really? she was so excited when he called back. i told him how i though his family was too consumed with themselves and he totally agreed with me. it's sad, really. but, i see where he gets it from. and i'm seeing that i still have a lot of work to do~! at least HE knows not to plan anything on my birthday, unless it's for me!!!

sometimes i wonder how i married such an asshole. seriously. yesterday he said to me "could you not send me personal email to my work email address? that would be great. thanks." wtf!? i send one, maybe two emails a freaking week to him. and yesterday it was contact information from a college buddy of his who was trying to get back in contact with him. good god. and no, i wasn't just catching him in a bad mood, either. this is how he is. he's taking this h.r. thing a bit too far. he then said, " well, i have to lead by example to the other employees. if i ever get audited and they find i have personal email on my work account, it just won't look good." are you fucking kidding me? i do not know one single person who does not use their work email to shoot off a personal email every once in a while. (he doesn't check his hotmail account with any regularity, so it's a crap shoot sending something there.)

that's not all. he also didn't show up until after 8p last night. normally i wouldn't care, but would it really kill him to call me and let me know he's going to be late because he's going to the gym? i wouldn't have made dinner so early if he had. but whatever. i didn't wait for him and i was sitting on the couch watching law & order until my beloved "the hills" came on. well mr. high and mighty came in and changed the channel because he never likes what i'm watching, and puts on some lame movie. so i get out my computer and log on to mtv so i can watch "the hills" online and he tells me i'm being annoying. oh, and did i mention that he's reading the newspaper and not even paying attention to what is on the tv?! *sigh*

sure, i could have gotten up and gone into another room, but damn it. i was there first. i will not be moved every time. i wasn't in the mood to argue, so i got up and went to bed.

and just now, i got an email from his dad that i wanted to tell him about, god forbid i actually fwd it, so i called him and he was all snippy on the phone with me because my phone was cutting out. really? it was because i called him while he was at work. i swear to god, this is getting so old.

the other day we were having a conversation about nothing in general when he started in on how much he makes. i mean, it's great and all that he is doing well, but seriously? money isn't everything. yes, i am proud of him for earning what he does and for being sucessful, but there is so much more to life than that. i'm proud of what i make, too, but i don't gloat about it(i really don't make very much, but i can support myself if need be) while he always goes into this whole diatribe on how he has goals and i don't. yeah, my goal is to be happy. he had set a goal of making a certain amount as a yearly salary by the time he was 30 and he has achieved that. well, good for him. i'm not too pleased that i don't really factor into that equation, though.

frankly, i don't know what equation of his i factor into, except maybe the having a wife part. when i call him on that, he says i'm overracting or feeling to sensitive or something along those lines.

sunday night, as part of my recovery process of alcoholism, i had to make amends to him for how i treated him while i was still drinking. as i started, he interrupted me to say it wasn't the time or the place ~ we were out to dinner ~ but i kept going. he interrupted me a few more times and good god, i wanted to smack him. i know he was looking for more groveling or something, but he wasn't going to get it. i am sorry for how i acted, as i was an ass to him, but sadly, sometimes i think he deserved it. okay, i know, that sounds awful, but really? at times he's not always the nicest guy in the world. other times he's a real peach and that's a treat. but it needs to be way more consistent.

he likes to tell me i'm selfish and self centered. sure, i admit i can be, but i think about other people WAY more than i do myself. this is why i flirt and look elsewhere for attention. it makes me happy when people are kind to me. kindness goes so far with me. i only need a little. i tell him that and he tells me that he's nice to me everyday. um....right.

it's foggy and cold today. i really need to clean the house and do laundry. and write thank you cards for my birthday, which was over a month ago. our heater isn't working so i don't want to get out from under the blanket because it's about 60 degrees in our house.

yesterday we went to davis to watch cal poly and davis play football. it was awesome. cal poly killed davis with a final score of 63 to 28. it was a beautiful day. we hung out with a buddy of hubby's from grad school. we all got a little sunburned, but it was still great. after the game we hung out at a cool bar and watched the cal game. i love college football.

i am totally addicted to watching 'the hills' on mtv. i don't know why. it's a guilty pleasure. but it also slows down what little motivation i have because i get sucked into the silly marathons they have on the weekends. like right now.

i just realized it took me a friggen half hour to write this. i.must.get.off.my.ass.now.