skybluepink

13 names i will not be naming little miss peanut:

1. brumhilda (my mother's suggestion)

2. bernadette ( my mother's suggestion)

3. mary katherine

4. virginia

5. victoria

6. elizabeth

7. kennedy

8. makenzie

9. ainsley

10. agnes

11. tiffany

12. chrystal

13. sharon

after much discussion last night, hubby convinced me not to go to the City tonight for the book reading that i really wanted to go to. he was concerned with me driving by myself and being in the City at 6 1/2 months pregnant.

even my argument that i drive the same distance to work each day and that we lived in the City for 2 years and that i grew up in a city didn't hold any weight with him. i told him to come with me, that perhaps he would enjoy the reading as well, but he didn't want to go. i finally relented, realizing that there are other battles that i would like to have and win. i am disappointed that i didn't get to go, but i do see his point ~ sort of.

and oddly enough, as soon as i left work today i was suddenly exhausted and took a nap as soon as i got home, so i would have been a mess had i tried to go to the reading. i guess it all worked out for the best.

hubby ended up coming home late and was only home about a half hour before he headed out to a meeting. i'm glad for the quiet.

little miss peanut has been kicking up quite the storm this evening and i'm in super comfy clothes, so i'm happy.

and thank god i'm on my meds again or else this wouldn't have been so easy to deal with!

cheer: at my doctor's appointment on wednesday, i was put back on my anti-anxiety meds. praise the jesus baby. i noticed the difference almost immediately. the midwife that i had met with said she was really surprised that my other doctor had taken me off of it as the kind i was on didn't have any side effects. and, since i had been on it for 7 years already, it wasn't so great for me to be off, either. i love my new doctor's office.

jeer: the weather was sunny but so cold yesterday. like, really cold. and windy.

cheer: my asshat boss is out today so it's just me in the office. whoot!

jeer: we still haven't received our economic stimulus check.

cheer: we bought baby furniture this weekend; a crib and mattress, a chest of drawers, a glider with an ottoman and a bob jogger so hubby can take little miss peanut on runs with him.

jeer: i am now blocked from listening to radio stations on the computer at work. damn big brother.

cheer: but, i am now able to get on msn messenger at work. anyone want to chat!?

jeer: we're having a garage sale on saturday and still have so much work to do.

cheer: i went online to place an ad in the paper for said garage sale, but realized it cost $20 to do so, so i emailed my friend at the paper and he placed the ad for me for free.

wow. i just sat through what had to be one of the most idiotic meetings. ever. my asshat of a boss was explaining that we need to be prepared for hard times. that there is this thing called a recession that we may experience.

really? no shit.

he then went on to say "i've never been through hard times in my life before. i was born in '65 and there has never been a recession since i've been alive."

wtf?

did he miss the early 80's? or how about in the early 90's? or what about the recession in the 2000's that resulted as a combination of the dot com crash and about 9-11? my dad was laid off from his job in the early 90's and hubby was laid off from his job during the dot com crash, both due to the recessions at the time. good god. every day this guy is a bigger douche.

because i'm lacking in the creativity department today, here's a list of 13 things i am currently coveting:

1. an iphone. i have a super slick blackberry world edition that i use for work, but i will have to give that back once i am on maternity leave, so i will need a new phone.

2. tory burch revas ballet slippers. i just love the look of these shoes. they come in an array of colors and are so comfy.

3. penelope bedding from pottery barn kids. it's on my registry, but i really, really like it a lot. i think out of everything i've registered for, it's what i'd like the most.

4. i'd like to go away for a long weekend to santa barbara. it's my most favorite place to visit and it's been forever since i've been there.

5. pinkberry frozen yogurt. it's the yummiest frozen yogurt i've ever tasted.

6. to go to felicia sullivan's book reading next week in the City. this was such a great, well written book and i would just love to go and meet her.

7. i would love to start up a delivery of flowers from the best flower shop, ever, fleuressence. i had stopped getting flowers delivered a few months ago when money was a bit tight and never resumed delivery.







8. a kate spade diaper bag. currently this is the one i like the best, but there's always a new one out that catches my eye.

9. a new kate spade wallet. my current wallet is so worn and tattered that my credit cards keep falling out.

10. an ipod music interface for my volvo so my ipod will run seamlessly through the stero without having to use the odd shaped gadget that i currently have plugged into the dash.

11. the debra necklace in the wild rose design by the fabulous wendy brandes.

12. a trip to sedona to stay at l'auberge de sedona. we had planned a trip there last year, but i suddenly became unemployed and we had to cancel the trip.

a complete full day at the spa. i want to be totally pampered for hours on end.

One of my really good friends has recenty become involved as a volunteer camp counselor at Camp Hope California, a free weekend camp dedicated to helping young people who have recently experienced the loss of a parent or loved one.

Sadly, his dad died suddenly in 1979, when he was just 13 and about to enter high school. After his dad died, his longtime family friends took his family on a camping trip, with the idea of taking their minds off their recent loss. In talking to him he often will say that if it is a stretch to say that trip saved his life, it is not much of a stretch.

Recently there was an article in the Sacramento Bee (click to read the article) about this camp and my friend felt the need to go and take part in their program. He's told me that he instantly recognized the look on the brave young girl's face and decided to contact Camp Hope and see what he could do to help them. He will be attending their Spring camp in Livermore as a counselor during the first weekend in May.

Because he is such a great friend to me and because this is such a worthy cause, I would like to ask all of you who can do so to join me in helping support this very worthwhile cause by making a tax deductible contribution to Camp Hope.

Camp Hope is a 501c(3) nonprofit organization, and your tax deductible donations can be made out to Dan Hebert Camp Hope.

Checks can be mailed to Camp Hope at:

7441 Foothills Blvd. Suite 175 PMB 75
Roseville, CA 95747

or you can donate online via your paypal account or a credit card.

Thank you for anything you can give, even if it is just kind thoughts of hope for this to be a great weekend for all involved.

i had to get some more maternity clothes yesterday because i have already grown out of some of the stuff i bought two months ago. sigh. luckily there was stuff on sale at old navy so i didn't spend too much. and i found a consignment store in town that has gently used baby clothes, furniture and maternity clothes, so i picked up a few items there as well. i'm just over buying maternity clothes! i only have so many options and i have to look nice for work, so it's a bit challenging. i did get a cute black tshirt at the consignment shop that says 'due in august' on the front in pretty script. now if only i could wear that every day so people would stop asking.

i seemed to have popped overnight. one day i was barely showing, and now it's like 'hello, baby belly'! i sort of have a mini fort of pillows that i sleep with each night, much to hubby's chagrin. i totally baracade myself in for some sort of comfort, but he's a bit convinced i'm doing that so he can't touch me. perhaps i let him think that, but it really is for the comfort.

i have now also begun to waddle, which is bizarre to me. one day i was walking fine, now i sort of sway from side to side. today i have ankles, yesterday they had disappeared for a while. i'm constantly looking down to see where i'm at with them. it just makes me feel funny when they disappear on me. i know it's due to heat and water retention, but still.

i also notice that i spill stuff on myself way more often because there is way more sticking out. even when i wash my hands, i always seem to get water droplets on my top. but i guess the chocolate stain on my crisp white blouse was because i was a messy chocolate bar eater this morning and not anything else...

ah, the weekend. it started out crummy but then ened up being okay. friday was payday but my check was not what it was supposed to be due to much miscommunication in my department, so i wasn't paid for a good chunk of time. all would have been fine, except when i brought it to the attention of the gal in the payroll department, she told me that it would be best for me to wait until the next pay period to get the amount which was owed to me. when i told her i needed the money right away as i had rent to pay, she told me she didn't feel like cutting me a check because she wanted to go home ~ it was only 3 pm by that time ~ and would have the check ready for my by the end of the month. seriously? you can't mess with people's pay. does she not realize that it's against the law to do that? obviously not. so, i had to cancel some plans for the weekend as i was out of cash. and i was pissed.

saturday was uneventful as i stayed home since i didn't have any spending money. i did run errands, but that's about it. later that evening i got a call from my folks that they were in town and would be stopping by for a light lunch on sunday. um..really? thanks for the notice. so not only am i out of money, i now have to make lunch for them and two other people they had along with them. and hubby was off this weekend hunting so i had no help from him. i pulled something together ~ which turned out quite good if i do say so myself ~ and we sat outside as the weather was nice. hubby showed up about a half hour before they left so he didn't have to entertain them too much. i was annoyed that he was gone so long, which was completly intentional on his part as he knew they were coming and didn't want to be around them.

luckily, they left relatively early and after cleaning the kitchen, i took a much needed nap. sunday evening we went to a friend's house for dinner, which was nice. we were both exhausted by the time we got home and were in bed pretty early. i am now at the uncomfortable stage of my pregnancy, which is a bit annoying as i can't sit, stand or lie for any lenght of time without changing positions.

this morning hubby commented how my arms are getting bigger (and with added chunk) and that i needed to start excercizing. i totally lost it only him. he apologized. but i'm still annoyed. people keep telling me you get pampered and taken care of when you're pregnant. i'm now 6 months along and still waiting for that to happen.

a conversation that just happened in my office with one cute boy and two others standing by:

cute boy: "you look like you're ready to pop"

me: "well, i have a few more months to go, but i'm definitely showing now"

cb: "you look like you've gained some weight" looks at my boobs.

me: "yeah, and in all the right places." as i touch my belly and my boobs.

yes, boys and girs, i am getting my sass back. whew. it's about time. i was fearing i had lost it.

because i haven't done one of these in a while and because i know lisa really likes them, i give you a thursday thirteen.

here are thirteen things i want to do before little miss peanut arrives:

1. have brunch with my girlfriends more often.

2. spend a weekend in santa barabara.

3. spend a weekend in san luis obispo.

4. learn how to make a few new recipies for dinner (suggestions welcome!)

5. write enough short stories to send off to a publisher.

6. have something published on indie bloggers.

7. attend several book club meetings.

8. walk through the redwoods.

9. get my hair into a style i actually like.

10. put up framed photographs in the livingroom and bedroom.

11. figure out the household finances and decide my going back to work plan.

12. finish the nursery entirely.

13. put up curtains in the living room and make it prettier.

lately my mind has been racing with so many thoughts. racing more than usual, i guess i should say, as it's always motoring along. i have tried to write here so many times, but i feel so scattered that i never know where to start. so i am just going to ramble.

i've had nothing to do all weekend, which has been just great. the weather is cold and sunny but really windy so i can't do anything outside, which is a bit disappointing. i would really like to wash my car but i know as soon as i do, all the pollen that has been flying around will just land right back on my car. but, at least it's sunny and pretty out, even if i have to enjoy it from the inside.

i attacked my mini closet yesterday. i've been really down lately because nothing fits me anymore. yes, i realize that i am pregnant and that this is normal. i get that. it still doesn't mean that i have to like it. i literally went from having hundreds of options to about 10. i've already spent a ton on maternity clothes and i feel like i have nothing. and because my boobs have grown so much i can no longer fit into tops that i used to and that just blows. i mean, i knew my stomach would get big, but i didn't think my boobs would grow so much so fast and sadly, i know they haven't stopped growing yet, either. i have tons of great clothes that i can no longer wear and it makes me sad looking at all of them just hanging in my closet so i purged it all yesterday. i have a rolling storage thing in the closet that i keep winter coats in so i put a lot of my clothes that i can no longer wear in the garage. but there was still a ton of stuff that i haven't worn in forever, so i'm getting rid of all of that as well. we're planning to have a garage sale in about 3 weeks so i'll try selling some of my clothes then and the rest i will give to charity. i know i will be able to fit into some of the clothes again, but i know there will be a lot that i won't be able to wear anymore. before i even got pregnant, i was outgrowing some things and was frankly tired of the clothes i had. the hardest things to let go of are all my pairs of designer jeans. oh, i won't get rid of all of them, but i will have to let go of quite a few.

i'm so over where we live. i've actually never really liked living here, though it is quite beautiful. it's like a little piece of paradise. however, the people who live up here are the snobbiest, most pretentious people i have ever met. there is a ton of money up here and the people who live here are constantly trying to keep up with each other in the most unhealthy ways. and they're all 'new money' so they don't really have the concept of saving for a rainy day and live these completely ostentatious lives, which is so not me. thankfully, hubby feels the same way as i do and we are looking to move in the next year or so. we had wanted to move this year, but that was before we found out i was pregnant so now we have to wait. we definitely don't want to say and grow old here. there's absolutely nothing keeping us here, which makes moving all that easier.

my disdain for my mil has grown to hatred with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. really. it gets worse and worse each time i have to interact with her. she just boils my blood. people keep telling me i will be thankful for her once the baby is born. but really? that freaks me out to no end that she will be nearby. she is one of the least maternal people i know. she is cold and unloving. and incredibly judgmental. and bitter. and now she is behaving like this child that i am carrying is hers. i guess she has always wanted a girl and even told hubby's father that unless he could guarantee her a girl, she didn't want any more children because she was so sick of boys. she cries every time i see or talk to her about how excited she is about me having a girl. dude. it's not yours. get the fuck over it. the day we found out, we called her and she insisted we come over and show her the ultra sound pictures. both hubby and i were exhausted from the week and called that evening to say we wouldn't have time as we were leaving for the weekend and she pulled this total crying guilt trip on hubby so we had to go just to placate her. she again started in on the water works when we got there and gave us this hideous pink outfit for the baby. i was gracious about it but am so not looking forward to receiving other things from her. yes, i am being an ungrateful twit. but if you had to deal with her, you would be, too.

i'm really starting to get worried about how things will be after i give birth. i mean immediately afterwards, like the first two weeks or so. hubby isn't prepared in the least and he's not exactly the most caring person out there. okay, okay. he cares, but he just doesn't know how to show it. he's more into the ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away kind of mindset. and he also thinks i'm faking it when i tell him i'm not feeling well. i don't have any girlfriends nearby that i can call to help out and i know my parents won't be visiting me, either, with means i will have to rely on my mil. i am seriously concerned about this. i only have one girlfriend who i would call and she lives in LA and is a teacher and well, that just won't work. and besides, our house is so mini that no one would be able to stay with us, so asking anyone to come help would be out of the question because we can't afford to put someone up at a hotel.

i just finished reading the latest book by jhumpa lahiri called unaccustomed earth. she is by far my favorite author and her books always leave me wanting more. i love reading so much because it allows me to just melt away into another place and time. books have always been my greatest form of escape from the doldrums of everyday life. some girls i know in town just invited me to be part of their monthly book club and i'm thinking of joining. i missed the first meeting due to a migraine, but do want to participate in the next go round.

well, little miss peanut is doing gymnastics in my belly so i'm going to get up and move around a bit.

over the past few days i've stumbled across a few new blogs which have left me wanting more, so i thought i would share. nice of me, isn't it. heh.

first, to help me through my days at work at the dreaded job, i now read true office confessions many times throughout the day. i may even keep it open with my fingers on the alt-tab position just in case the evil boss man walks by so i can pretend i'm really working on a spreadsheet. it's good to know others are at dreaded jobs as well.

next i have found who what wear daily which is a fun site to gawk at more fashion that i can't afford. hey, at least a girl can dream, right?

and lastly but certainly not leastly, i have found jurgen nation which totally rocks. this chick writes well and i totally relate to a ton of what she has to say. today's post was about some great books i read growing up and now i want to go read them all again. she's also the moderator of indie bloggers and i swear one day i will have the courage to submit something.

is it wrong that i just double clicked my mouse at my desk while my boss was out of our office and that i could have totally been caught by someone walking by?

You Are A Little Snobby

And being a little snobby every once and a while is totally allowed. Because if no one was ever snobby, no one would ever try to dress up or look pretty. And while you do enjoy the finest things in life (that you can afford), you tire of superficiality. You know there's more to life than what's just on the surface.

i no longer have ankles. i now have cankles. hubby is now calling me cankie. we spent the weekend in LA and it was SO HOT. like 94 degrees hot. my legs, feet and hands were swollen the whole time and i was a bit miserable. sigh.

we went home for a wedding. a very whiskey tango wedding. we left friday morning and arrived in sunny hot LA and headed straight to tommy's for a burger. mmm. we thought we would have a nice afternoon to relax on my parent's patio, but my father decided that we needed to leave 2 hours before the rehearsal dinner, which was a mere 25 miles away. seriously. he said there was an accident and didn't want to hit traffic. the accident had happened 4 hours before we had to leave. so, we arrived an hour and a half early. luckily we were able to convince him that we were NOT going to arrive that early as it was at the groom's parent's house and we didn't know the people. so instead, we sat at a dirty mcdonald's in the ghetto of whittier. nice.

we finally arrive at the dinner and proceed to sit around and wait for everyone else to show up because this family is always late. like hours late. we finally sit down to eat and neither hubby or i can stomach the food because it's so god awful ~ vats of grocery store lasagna and dry garlic bread ~ so we just sipped on soda. dessert was strawberry cupcakes with super sweet frosting, which neither of us could eat, either. we then headed to the church for the rehearsal but of course, we got lost because my father does not believe in asking for directions. we finally arrive and run through the ceremony. i'm doing a reading but they don't even make me practice it, which turns out to be fine, since the next day we are totally late to the wedding because my father, yet again, didn't want to ask for directions and we get there AFTER i am supposed to read. nice. so we sit in the back of the church while i am feeling absolutely awful for being so late and my dad just shrugs his shoulders at me, like it's no big deal. i don't even go up for communion, i feel so bad. at least i get to rest my swollen feet on the cool church floor.

after the ceremony, we have a 2 hour wait until the reception begins so we head to uptown whittier. my father wants to head to the reception early, but again, we convince him that it won't be ready. it is sweltering out and we ask to stop for water, but he is convinced that we if we head to the reception, there will be something for us there. finally, he pulls into a 7 eleven where we run into two guys who are total tweakers. and obviously gang members. i am totally scared. and normally i don't get scared but these guys are a mess. they finally leave and we pay and head out. we park totally far away from the reception and my legs and feet are killing me but, again, my father refuses to let us stop and rest. we arrive at the reception site and leave my folks and venture out to find something to eat. thank god we do because the reception doesn't start for several hours because the wedding party took pictures for 2 1/2 hours and didn't arrive until after 6 pm.

by 8:00 pm hubby and i are done, even though things are still barely getting started. i text my girlfriend and she is the bestest friend ever and comes and picks us up. my folks give me attitude for leaving and have absolutely no empathy for the fact that i am really uncomfortable. we leave and head to baskin robbins for a sweet treat. hubby and i are in bed a little after 10 pm.

the weekend was not a total loss, though. saturday morning we met up with my girlfriend (the same rockstar who rescued us later that night) and headed out to pasadena for brunch and shopping. oh and pinkberry. mmm.

we got home this afternoon and it's almost just as hot up here. my mother in law was supposed to take care of the kitties while we were gone, but we came home to them being totally out of food and water. and the scoop for the litter was still in the box. um...wtf? she also had bought some flowers, but since they were out of water, they had knocked over the vase, thus spilling water all over the mail, the kitchen table and the floor. she had obviously not been there today, which is pretty crappy seeing how it is in the upper 80's outside and did i mention the cats are out of water??? and she knew we wouldn't be here until late afternoon and she only lives 15 minutes away. sigh.

oh, great. now i have acid reflux. lovely. and atty just threw up. waa.