one of the most valuable things that i have learned over the years is to just sit and be still. it is amazing how much you can learn by doing just so. especially at work. i've always managed to hold a position where others see me as the girl-who-doesn't-matter or the girl-who-won't-understand-what-we're-talking-about. people are so dumb sometimes.

i have really learned how to perfect the i'm-not-paying-attention-to-you look and that works quite well. it's really amazing the amount of things people are willing to talk about when they think no one else is listening.

just right now i overheard someone talking about a coworker who is in a serious depression, just sitting on the edge of his bed, rocking himself back and forth, with loud music blaring in the background. i guess he has been going downhill for a while and has recently received a few letters from his ex-wife.

so anyhow, these two coworkers were having this conversation right in front of me, like i wasn't even there. i was just working intently on a project at my desk so they figured i wasn't paying them any attention. sure, i wasn't looking at them, but my ears were sure listening. i feel awful for this guy, but it seems like he would be better without these two people gossiping about him and instead actually doing something to help him.

i guess they had just gone over to his house to check on him and he was a total wreck. one commented that the last time she had seen someone look so bad was right her mother right before she died. good god. if this guy is doing so poorly, then don't leave him alone, for god's sake! that's no comfort to someone that is in that much distress. especially since he is apparently hitting the bottle quite hard.

it has also been mentioned that he has battled an eating disorder for most of his life, that he had a bad divorce a few years ago and that he rarely sees his grown children. he also is quite scaterbrained and a few people have commented on that as well. what i don't understand either is how then when he is around at work, people are nice to his face but talk crap to his back. it's so double sided it's a joke.

it's so odd to me that people here think they are the only ones who know about certain things and that they feel the work environment is the appropriate place to discuss things like this.

of course it's none of my business so i am keeping out of it. i don't know this guy very well so it would definitely be odd for me to do anything. i just feel sad about the whole situation. things like this should not be talked about at work, or anywhere for that matter, where others can hear. i'm sure this guy wouldn't like to find out he was being talked about at work within earshot of others and his current situation.

people can just be so insensitive sometimes. then they wonder why rumors get started. i could easily pass on everything i just heard, embelish a bit and continue on their path, which is what happens around here all too often. it's so sad, really.

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