well, i am finally going back to my hubby and the kitties. to say it has been nightmareish here, is an understatement. i am definitely at a low point right now. i just feel so sad. so small and sad. i know i'm a great person and all that, but i just feel like the will to live has been sucked right out of me. but have no fear, i'm hitting the road before all is lost. i just have no idea what the hell happened down here.

i scheduled myself a 90 minute massage for tomorrow morning, so hopefully that'll lift my mood. oh, and i got the job that i have been interviewing for and i start monday! so that's good. so, i MUST GET OUT OF THIS WICKED FUNK before then, lest i wither away. and THANK GOD for jackarandabush. without her, i would have surely died down here. she is the most amazing friend a girl could ever hope for. thank god i have friends like her, and you wonderful readers here. without you guys, i don't know what would become of me!

now i better get on the road before the kitties decide i'm not coming home and change the locks on the doors!!!

this is hands down one of the worst trips home. mom is an absolute nightmare. today she was still angry, and took off in the middle of the afternoon. i went out with jacarandabush and dad went out with his friend. we got back this afternoon and she still wasn't back. dad and i both took naps ~ he one the couch downstaris and me on the fluffy bed upstairs. mom just showed up and still totally angry at us. this is bad. and evil feeling.


why is it that it only take a matter of minutes for my mother to make me feel like crap? to feeless-than? sure, sure, i've heard the saying 'only you can make yourself feel bad'. for those of you who believe this, you have not met my mother.

day 1 at home

hi all...so i made it home with no traffic at all! woo hoo! it took me a little over 6 hours to get here, and by the time i was 100 miles away, i started talking to myself. it was amusing, to say the least!

luckily i had my trusty ipod with me so i was totally rocking out. and i made it on on tank of gas. yes folks, i drove 407 miles on one tank of gas. my 6 year old saturn rocks!

and dad was sooo surprised when i rang the doorbell...he had NO idea i was coming! :) he keeps telling people today is his sex birthday.... see, he turned 66 today, and in german, six is sechs, wich sounds a lot like sex. yes, my dad is a dirty old man. :)

anywho...i'm off to get a mochker and a kwossant with jacarandabush and then to get a mani/pedi before we get ready for the big shindig for dad tonight.

thirteen things i am going to do this weekend

i haven't been home in a while so yesterday i decided that i'm going to go for a few days. since i have some extra time on my hands these days, i'm going to drive down so i can hang out for a few days with no set schedule. i'm going to leave tomorrow after i have breakfast with a girlfriend. i'm not sure when i'll come back, maybe wednesday or thursday...

1. go home for a visit

2. hang out with mom and dad

3. celebrate dad's 66th birthday

4. have dinner at my favorite resturant, the tam o' shanter

5. hang out with my best friend, jacarandabush

6. go to the huntington library

7. go to the newly renovated griffith park observatory

8. go shopping at the grove and the fashion district

9. get a mani/pedi

10. have coffee and pastry every afternoon

11. have lunch with my former boss

12. go to the paper rabbit

13. miss the kitties and hubby a lot!


i have new admiration for miss fleurs. okay, well i already admire her so much...this just adds to that. i had her do two arrangements for me ~ two family friends passed away recently ~ and she delivered one last night and brought the other one over for me to deliver today.

well, i set out to find the house and had the hardest time! i found the street no problem...but the house was hidden to me! i even rang a doorbell of a house that was close in number, but no one answered. i was looking for 920, but the houses went from 946 to 910, with no house in between.

i called hubby to make sure i had the right address, but he wasn't sure, so i went back home to look it up in the phone book. now, mind you, i was driving my car ~ which is a stick shift with no power steering ~ with one hand while holding the vase of flowers with the other hand. luckily, i only had about 2 miles to go, roundtrip.

i finally found the correct address ~ somewhere we had gotten it wrong (i blame hubby) and set out again. turns out the address was 910, the house i had actually rang the doorbell at. no one was home so i left the flowers on the doorstep.

miss fleurs, my hat's off to you! you are simply amazing for doing this on a daily basis. and, you make the most beautiful arrangements in all the land. and you are one super duper friend. :)

speaking of which, she was over last night and both her and my other friend w, didn't drink any booze in support of me. i thought that was the kindest thing EVER. i mean, they totally could have had wine, but they both told me that they since i wasn't drinking, they wouldn't be either. i mean, wow. i'm so honored to have them as friends. and they both did that on the sly ~ they don't even know each other and they did that in support of my sobriety. wow.


ohmigod. so in the middle of the night fin caught a mouse. in the house. he was snuggling on my face when all of a sudden i felt him sit upright and hop off the bed ~ yes hop. he's a hopper. anyhow, i started to go back to sleep when i heard him growl. a deep growl. over and over. i got out of bed and found fin in the hallway crouched down. i thought he was playing with a toy, one of those little catnip filled mice. he scurried back into the bedroom, still growling. i turned on the light to get the toy away from him as i wanted to get back to sleep, when i felt the mouse. i totally freaked out and dropped fin with the mouse. he was still growling. hubby got up and we took fin into the bathroom and held him over the toilet until fin let go of the mouse. so, now i'm a proud mom of a mouse hunter. but it still freaks me out that we had a mouse in the house!!!

it's amazing what people coming over will do to getting your house cleaned. i'm having a few girlfriends over this evening for a candle party, or as hubby calls it ' a black panther party'. heh.

anywho, i decided to tidy up a bit for my guests. the kitchen and bathroom are simply sparkling right now. i decided really to attack things, which is a good things, as i had some fruit flies festering on the clementines. ewww!

in the midst of my cleaning, i got quite a nosefull of cat poo and went to investigate. as i went into the office, where the litter box is, i didn't see anything odd except for a few of my cd's on the floor. as i went to pick them up, my hand went into something warm and mushy. yep. one of the kitties had pooed on the floor and covered his poo with my cd's. soooo gross. even after washing my hands several times, they still smell faintly of poo. well, not both of them, but the right one does since that's the hand that got into the poo.

okay, enough of that!

i have to do some more laundry and wash the floors then i'll be done. well, and i have to go to the store to get some treats to eat for tonight as well.

it's so nice out that i have a bunch of windows open. i wish it was spring already!

i got a negative feedback in return on ebay. nice. it said "got the item and left negative feedback. beware". whatever. i'm still glad i left the negative feedback in the first place. it was totally justified and i'm not worried in the least about this.

eta: i just read this delightful nugget on the seller's site:
Hard to communicate the BUYER, due to long weekend.......and she's paying late.

nice. i totally had to instigate the communication, asking when i would recieve my shipment since it had already been a while. i also paid pretty quickly after the auction was over via paypal, so i have no idea where she's coming with the paying late part. Also, the holiday weekend was the weekend after i won the auction ~ i won on a monday ~ a week before the holiday.

so, of course, i had to respond. this is what i said:
payment posted on 1/10 by paypal. SELLER said "maybe next week" on ship status.

Hopefully this will all be over soon. what a little snot the seller is!

got sass?

i really love dilly where she tells what she's wearing every day. but since i've been out of work for a while now, i haven't really gotten to wear more than jeans and juicy sweats. but, this afternoon i went on a job interview and got to dress up. so here is what i wore:

grey with thin blue pinstripes wool flat front pants from ann taylor, blue button up shirt with cuffs unbuttoned and folded up once from banana republic and black leather heals with a black rose on the front by prada.

as for jewlery, i wore a clear beaded necklace with a clear pendant, a silver and light blue kenneth cole watch and my pearl earrings.

i diffused my hair and used bumble and bumble curl creme to enhance the wave. i then used jane irredale pressed powder in warm silk, dandelion blush by benefit, dallas blush by benefit, black fiber optics mascara by stila and brown shadow and liner by duwop for brown eyes. on my lips i used creamola liner and goldensoft lipgelee from mac.

i finished off with a spritz of coco mademoiselle by chanel and carried my black kate spade handbag.

i tried my best to take my photo, and this is the best i could do. i need a lot more practice as the full length photos were pretty bad, thus none of them posted here!

so i just left my first negative feedback on ebay.

i had won an auction on 1/8 for a cozy new north face jacket that i desparately need in this freezing weather, and i did not get the jacket until today, 1/19. i had emailed the seller on oh, 1/12 asking when i should expect my package and was told "maybe next week". um...what? so i asked "maybe i will get the package next week or maybe you will mail the jacket next week?". i never got an answer.

then, this monday, 1/15, i got an email with a tracking number. slightly odd since the post office was closed due to martin luther king day, but whatever. each day this week i went online and checked the tracking status, and there was nothing until thursday, 1/17, when the package was actually sent. 9 days after the auction ended.

oh, and did i mention that the seller lives a mere 45 miles away from me?

yeah. no exscuse. whatsoever. heck, i had won another auction on 1/10 for a l.a.m.b. t-shirt and got the package a few days later.....from HONG KONG. so no. i don't have any sympathy for the seller that in the city.

wonder if they'll leave me a negative feedback, although i paid as soon as the auction was over via pay pal and tried to communicate as much as posiable via email. but whatever.

thirteen guilty pleasures

1. dark chocolate

2. starbucks coffee

3. sparkling apple cider

4. us weekly magazine

5. watching bad day time talk shows

6. sticky sweet pop music

7. an occasional cigarette

8. kissing cute boys

9. latin boys...er...i mean boys over 21!!

10. shameless flirting

11. watching mtv, vh1 and e

12. getting tattoos

13. duran duran

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tuesday typing

it is soo freaking cold outside right now. at 9 am, it is only 26 degrees!! everything is covered in ice and frost. i have the heater on full blast and the mini house is only 66 degrees. brrr. thank god i have mini kitties to keep me warm!

speaking of mini kitties....fin was on fire last night. he got into everything! at one point, in the middle of the night, he was attacking hot dog buns in the mudroom. later, we found him chilling in the dishrack on the kitchen counter. then he was playing with the bathroom faucet. oh, and then he decided to tip over his food bowl and play hockey with his food. all in the middle of the night, of course. it may have been the worst night of sleep we've had in a long time. thankfully atty was nice and comfy on the bed with us and didn't partake in fin's shennanegans.

yesterday i took a day trip and visited some friends i hadn't seen in a while. my girlfriend rides horses, so i met her at the ranch where she rides. it was so great! i met her horse, a handsome black and white horse named ford. i watched her ride for a while then we fed ford some carrots and an apple and set him out to pasture. then my friend and i went into town and went to lunch and wandered around a bit. it was great to get out of my sleepy little town! we went to border's and i was in heaven. the bookstores in my little town are pretty sad ~ they're really small and have a very limited selection. i bought 3 books and could have stayed there for hours.

i then met another friend for coffee and we sat and chatted for a few hours. he had just bought a new house so i went over and checked it out. he's neighborhood is so newly developed that it's not even on a map yet. my girlfriend's house was only a few blocks away, so after i check out his house, i went over to my girlfriend's house. we had tea and chatted for a while more then i finally hit the road at about 7 pm. it was a great day.

i was pretty beat by the time i got home and was in bed reading by 9 pm. hubby came with me, which was a nice change as he usually falls asleep on the couch watching tv. i got up early this morning and now don't know what to do with myself. i am finally feeling better after my nasty cold and only have a little bit of a cough left.

i'll apply to a few more jobs today and check in on those i've already sent my resume off to. i'm really getting silly at home, though. i don't want to go out because it's soo cold out and i don't want to be tempted to spend any money since i'm not bringing any in. maybe i'll see miss fleurs today...

~ i will now be calling 'c' hubby and 'flowergirl' miss fleurs~ just in case you're wondering ;)

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.


i got a call a little while ago from my friend who created all the drama earlier in the week. evidently, the drama is still going. the girlfriend now wants to call me and talk to me about what i know, so my friend gave her my number. they the guy in question appologized to my friend about putting her in such an awkward situation. evidently the girlfriend gave the boyfriend a second chance and they are back together. but, she still wants to talk to me and find out what really went on. um...because i would know? evidently the guy says he though he had a chance with me so he thought he would break up with the girlfriend. wtf? no. that is so wrong. and gross. i have never had the desire to be with that guy. he's so swarmy. anyhow, since my friend told the girlfriend the things i had told her in confidence ~ and then some ~ i'm sure i know look like the evil gossip girl who wants to split the couple up. this couldn't be further from the truth. i have said this before and will say it again. i don't really care~! none of this is my business and i don't care what happens. i have no vested interest in any of these people.

i guess the guy also made some comment to his girlfriend about how i was kissing some guy over at the golf course so i obviously was promiscuous. um...the last time i was at the golf course was about a year and a half ago for my orientation. i most certainly didn't kiss anyone then! so i have no idea what he's talking about. as much as i would like to, i don't go around kissing boys! while i do kiss some of my guy friends hello, i have never even kissed this guy hello. i am very selective of who my lips touch. besides, i only kiss people hello that i know very well, and always with people i have known for a while and whose feelings are mutual ~ that of complete friendship. and, this guy has never even seem me do that, so that point is mute. i am just so annoyed that i have been drawn into this mess.

last night

last night i went over to fleurgirl's house for some girl time. there was wine and snacks and a few girls i didn't know. as soon as i got there fleurgirl grabbed a cup and made me a cup of coffee. it was such a kind gesture. no one even blinked an eye that i didn't drink the booze as fleurgirl handed me the coffee. it was a really nice evening, but i felt like i was trying too hard to get the girls to like me. i always had some witty comment to say and noticed i was often bringing the conversation around to me. i even pointed out that i could be fun without drinking booze. i don't know if anyone else noticed, but i sure did, and i didn't like myself very much by the time i left. i just felt like i was trying too hard to get the girls to like me. i really did have a good time, but i just don't know why i act like that sometimes. it must be my insecurity about people really liking me. and accepting me for who i am. and liking me even though i don't drink. i've always been insecure about people liking me. i don't know why ~ i have had friends that have stuck by me for years, so it's not like i'm constantly changing friends. sometimes i just listen to the voices in my mind too much. so much self doubt exists there and i just don't understand why.

well, while i was driving back home last night, i was so deep in thought about all these things that i completly missed my turn and ended up about 20 miles out of the way. then i had to back track, not really knowing where i was going and ended up making a huge loop. so, instead of a trip that should have taken me about 35 minutes, my trip took about an hour! what makes it tough around here is that most of the roads here are small country roads without lights or signals, so it's very easy to miss a turn. even the highways don't have bright lights like in the city. but, i made it home without any real problems, and surprisingly, i was very calm. luckily i had my ipod with good tunes to keep me going.

i had made a few rude comments last night that made me annoyed with myself as well. i know i don't like everyone, but i don't have to come out and say so. one of the girls was talking about her life coach lessens and how it was helping her. i then had to comment on the life coach person. it was so rude of me! i think it is fantastic that my friend is going to a life coach. i think the right one can be very benifical and helpful. but i had to personally attack the coach, which i have absolutely no place to do. i felt really bad when i left. sometimes i just can't get the foot out of my mouth once i have inserted it.

please say hi!!!

it's national de-lurking week. won't you please say hello?
you can even post anonymously if you want...i won't tell....

i have just been full of little bits of fury lately. i think it must be a combination of being stir crazy at home from my wicked cold and living in this tiny town. just when i start to feel better, i have another set back. today i felt like should have coughed a lung, with all the coughing i've done. i was supposed to go visit a friend tomorrow for dinner and see some others for lunch, but i've cancelled. i did make plans to see a friend this upcoming monday, and i am determined to be well by then.

and while this town is a lovely little place, it is so small and sheltered from the real world. i miss the diversity that comes from living in a city. there's also a real lack in culture here and i miss that. a lot. sometimes i think this town is a bit too quaint for me. and really stuck up.

on a more positive note, i won a few things from ebay in the past day so i'll be getting some good stuff in the mail ~ a new north face jacket, a kate spade handbag and a l.a.m.b. tshirt. if the shirt turns out to be nice one, i may just bid on one for fleurgirl 'cause i know how much she likes l.a.m.b. stuff, too. and i get to go to a candle party at her house too....okay. i'm feeling better now. :) positive thinking helps ward off tiny bits of fury...


i am so tired of being sick. it's so friggen draining. i went to breakfast with a friend this morning and i already want to take a nap because i'm worn out from coughing so much. i feel so drained right now but i.must.fold.the.laundry.


i woke up feeling like a train hit me this morning. okay, not quite, but it was pretty bad. my cold had come back with a vengance. i lost my voice and was coughing up yuckie stuff. i went to the store and bought some children's cold medicine ~ both daytime and nighttime stuff. i am alergic to acetominaphin ~ aspirin ~ so i have to find things that don't contain it and that tends to be difficult. but, i like the kid's stuff since it's in liquid form and coats my throat. anywho, i spent most of the day trying to rest.

fleurgirl came over in the afternoon for coffee and cookies. it was so great to see her. she brought me some tulips, which are my favorite. as soon as she left, i took a HUGE nap and woke after it had gotten dark out. my voice has come back a bit and i'm feeling a little better, but am going to head to bed soon to hopefully get a good nights rest.

but before i go, i have some things that have been weighing on my mind. i don't know why this bothers me so much, but uneducated people DRIVE ME NUTS. totally and utterly nuts. now, i understand there is a huge difference between life smarts and book smarts. i have a good share of life smarts, but also a bit of book smarts because I WENT TO COLLEGE. yes, college.

and by college, i mean from a real, accretaded (yes, i know i can't spell) 4 year university. not some piddly ass devry institute or wyotech or bryman. yes, i know these are programs that help people get places in life. i understand that. all i'm saying is that they're not real colleges. they are trade schools. to learn trades. they are not recognized by people as universities. you simply cannot compare stanford or cal or yale with devry. not in a million years. now, i'm not saying you have to go to a university to be successful. i'm just saying that you have a totally different life skill set without going. i have several friends who have gone to 'liberal private' colleges and claim they have a bachelor's degree, but it's totally different. stanford is a private school and is sooo different than other 'liberal private' schools. when i asked one friend what classes she was taking, she told me her math class was some touchy feel kind of math. wtf? it's call statistics. calculus. algebra, for god's sake. there's no touchy feel math in the real world!

university prepares you for the real world. it teaches you to be accountable for yourself more so than anything else. it teaches you how to deal with others on so many levels. the knowledge you learn is insurmountable. there is just such an obvious difference to me in people who have gone to college and those who have not. those who have gone, get it. those who don't, don't. yes, that is a huge blanket statement, but in my world, that is how i see this. you need to know basic things to get thru life and college is the place to learn them. dealing with your peers is huge. as is dealing with authority. now, i'm not saying that you have to let those in power push you around. on the contrary. you just need to know how to respect someone and what comes with that respect. these are things you learn in college. especially when you grew up in a bit of a disfunctional family, as so many people do. hell, i think we all have a bit of disfuntion.

since moving here, i have encountered so many people who are uneducated that it is starting to wear on me. college also helps you learn common sense. and little things like what you should and should not say to whom and when. most importantly, college teaches you how to deal with people. especially people who are different than you.

guess i went on a bit of a tirade there. i think the fact that this is such a small town and most of the people who i used to work with don't have anything more than a high school diploma is really wearing on me. several of the people i worked with were homeschooled, and well, that's just a whole other ball of wax that i will get into another time. but interestingly enough, the few girls that i know who were homeschooled, are also deeply religious. okay, okay. i have to stop now or i never will. some issues just get me so rilled up!

funny how true these are. and nice how i wrote about venice beach just 2 posts ago! hahaha and for the record, i'm an 818.

1) Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
2) You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
3) You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone.
4) You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican.
5) You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see below).
6) Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".
7) You drive to your neighborhood block party.
8) In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day or mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and maybe sunburn.
9) You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
10) If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
11) Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
12) You know what "In-'N-Out" is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
13) You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
14) You really can never be too rich or too thin or too tan.
15) You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times and you don't remember at least 1 of them.
16) You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
17) You eat pineapple on pizza.
18) Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head.
19) You think that Venice is a beach.
20) The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
21) You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
22) You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "949." Nobody likes anyone from the "909" because it stinks there.
23) You call 911 and they put you on hold.
24) You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
25) The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
26) You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
27) You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
28) You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
29) You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
30) It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH".
31) The Terminator is your governor.

as much as i try, i will never understand people. i used to think i had the ability to read people well, and at times i still think i can, but other times, i'm just blown out of the water. the most frustrating is when you think you know someone and they do something that is just, well, what you would never expect from them. like having loose lips. for me, that is one of the worst traits. people just seem to lack discression. either that, or they just don't care about other people. whatever it is, i'm not a fan.

for a while now i have had a friendship with a guy i worked with. eveything was innocent enough and i never felt he was going to try anything or cross the line with things. well i made the mistake of mentioning him to a girlfriend who immediately ran with what i had told her and took things completly the wrong way, which i thought was odd, as there was nothing at all going on with him whatsoever.

i saw him at work a lot, but didn't really seek him out. rather, we would run into each other or occasionally, he would seek me out. but, he knew i was married and he had a girlfriend, so i never thought twice about it. evidently, my girlfriend thought otherwise. but, i never caught on to that as she was friendly with a lot of people, including this particular guy. we would have lunch together at times ~ always with other people ~ and occasionally i would run into him at starbucks, but that was it. he would text me on occasion, but i would mostly ignore him. i wasn't being naiive to anything, i just didn't want to play along with him.

he was so full of himself, he never noticed. he loved talking about himself, and that got old with me real fast. anyhow, a few weeks ago he sent me a few racy texts about his feelings for me. i thought they were funny, as i have never, ever led him to believe i liked him. i'm not even remotely attracted to him. anyhow, i showed one of the texts to my girlfriend, who went nuts. she wanted to confront him. i told her to leave it alone.

in the previous few weeks he had told her how unhappy he was with his girlfriend. he had told me the same and i told him if he was that unhappy, he should move on. but, he's very egotistical and couldn't imagine ever being without a woman in his life, so he wanted to stay with her until he found someone else. whatever. it wasn't my deal, so i didn't really care. a few months ago he had told me he had cheated on his girlfriend with another gal we worked with. to each their own, i told him. i think he wanted me to be impressed, but i wasn't. in confidence i had told my girlfriend about his actions. she was disgusted with him but it never occoured to me that she would do anything about it. after all, he's just a guy we worked with, not any sort of close friend.

but, his girlfriend also worked with us ~ we were all in different departments ~ and my friend felt sorry for her. it wasn't my business, so i didn't really care. this guy was really arrogant and so immature. he annoyed me and i wasn't a fan in the least. at one point i had asked him why, if he was so unhappy, was he still with his girlfriend. his reply was one i already knew ~ she was good in bed. great. since my friend and i had already speculated as much, as a dummy, i told her what he had said.

last week, my friend and the girlfriend ran into each other. now mind you, my friend and i barely know the girl. i mean, i would wave hello, and that's about all the interaction i have EVER had with her. my friend may have had a little more interaction, but i doubt it. at any rate, she decided it was high time to tell her all about her boyfriend. i guess she confronted the girlfriend and told her how he talked about other girls, had cheated on her and so on. the girlfriend burst into tears and wanted to know more. then my friend told her i would call her and fill her in on everything else. WTF?! my friend called me when she left the gym ~ i was home sick, without a voice ~ and left me several 'emergency' messages. when i finally called her and she spilled her guts, i was shocked. i could not believe she took it upon herself to confront the girlfriend and tell her things she was told in confidence by me. then she had the audacity to tell the girlfriend that i would call and tell her everything else. um...no. i most certainly will not. it is none of my business. i am not her friend. i do not know her. it's not my place to tell her about her boyfriend.

i met my friend today for coffee. she asked me if i had talked to the girlfriend. when i told her i had not, she asked me if it was because i couldn't handle it, which shocked me. i told her i felt it was not my place to interfer in their relationship and that i would not be calling her. i said if i happened to run into the girlfriend and the girlfriend approached me, i might shed light on to a few things, but only if she asks. i kept trying to emphasize that it was not my place. i was still so shocked that she had betrayed my confidence to tell some girl that we don't even know about her boyfriend's indiscressions.

why can't people just keep their mouths shut? why don't people mind their own business? why do people thrive on drama? i HATE drama. i stay out of it as much as i can. yes, i know i was being a gossip by telling my friend things that the boy told me. but i never in a million years expected her to tell the girlfriend. it's sad. i'm really dissapointed. i feel like i can never say anything to her without thinking she may go tell someone. the worst part is that she doesn't even think she did anything wrong. i can only shake my head.

well, today is day 7 of my cold. i'm at about 85% now, almost there, but not quite. yesterday, much to c's delight, i didn't have a voice. i had several coughing fits today, and my throat is still a bit raw, but i'm doing A LOT better than earlier this week.

i've over done it with tv watching and reading, so my mind is a bit numb right now ~ i read several books this week and watched a nonstop marathon of america's next top model on vh1.

i even cleaned the house a bit today and did a lot of laundry, so that felt good. the weather has been nice and sunny this week, which has been nice. we tend to get a lot of dreary weather in the winter, which i'm not really looking forward to.

i also heard back from one of the places i interviewed at in early december. they are still interested in me and have a few things to work out and will get back to me in a week or so. while i am very happy to hear from them, i will still be getting back on my job search on monday as i can't just hope for that job to come thru.

after reading kate and sally's sites, i realize it has been a long time since i have gone to the coast ~okay, i've been to bodega bay recently, but that doesn't really count much in my book. i grew up going to the beach all the time. i spent whole summers at the beach. heck, i spent as much time as i could at the beach. i would go rollerblading on the bike path that streched for miles with jacaradabush and watch people for hours at muscle beach. oh and the volleyball tournaments in hermosa beach! yum! those boys are hott! and the all the surfer boys. i love them. oh, to be back in the salty air goodness....

santa monica

venice beach

hermosa beach


This little guy MUST make it to the front page of the Ess Bee Pee.

He embodies everything that can and does go horribly wrong in this world,while also showing us that even at the worst of times, all is not lost.Confused and Bewildered beyond belief? Maybe, but still IN the GAME.

so i got that nasty cold that's been going around. i woke up in the middle of the night on new year's eve with the worst sore throat ever. my throat was just raw. i popped a cough drop in my mouth and tried to go back to sleep. i tossed and turned while my sore throat turned into a full fledged cold. i was in bed all day yesterday. literally. i only got out of bed twice to pee and once to make c popcorn (we got a new popcorn maker for x-mas and he didn't know how to use it). i was a wreck yesterday. c took good care of me, though. he made me chicken noodle soup and checked on me throughout the day, bringing me orange juice and crackers. the kitties took care of me as well, sleeping with me on the bed and cuddling whenever necessary.

i'm better today, but definitely not 100%. i'd say i'm at about 60%. right now i'm really glad i don't have a job. i was going to resume my job search today, but we'll see how i'm feeling in a bit. right now i'm really not feeling up to it.

new year's eve was uneventful, but that was purely intentional. we're not big nye people. it's amature night and the roads are scary with all the drunks. i had my fair share of party nights ~ and days ~ so it was fine that we didn't do anything. in fact, i think we both fell asleep in front of the tv by 10 pm!

a need to make another cup of tea...

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