Meet Finnegan

Meet our newest family member ~ Finnegan. We call him Fin, for short. C has been wanting another kitty for a while now and while we were out and about today, we went to Petco for some fishfood.

One of the local cat adoption places was set up, adopting cats. We fauned over the darlings for close to a half an hour. We wanted to get a kitty that looked different than Atticus and we found a cute little black cat. Yount, as he was named, crawled up and snuggled right under my chin. It was adorable. But, we left without him.

Much to my surprise, on our way home, C suggested we stop at another adoption place in town, the one where we adopted Atticus from. We first went into the room of cats, then the room of kittens and didn't fall in love with any of them. There were several that I liked, but we couldn't agree on any. One of the gals who worked there suggested visiting a local store where a few kitties who look like Atty were being adopted. C said he didn't want another tabby, so we headed home.

Since we had been out all day, I was looking forward to a nap. But after about a half an hour at home, C decided he wanted to see the kitties at the other shop, so we headed out again.

Well, low and behold, we fell in love pretty much instantly with a medium haired tabbed named McCoy. Within 30 minutes, he was ours and we were on our way home. I was SO surprised how everything turned out today. We changed his name to Finnegan right away and headed home, with a brief detour to Granny's first to show Fin off. She loved him, of course.

Atticus, was a different story. He was SO freaked out. I felt really bad for him. I've never seen him so freaked out before and he was in full attack mode ~ super fluffed tail and all. He had no idea what was going on with the new little fluff ball in the house. The fluff ball, who is more comfortable in our house than Atticus is, is surely making Atty a little nervous.

But, after about 3 1/2 hours of play time, they kitties have finally stared to relax. Fin has found the litter box and has done his business, twice. Yay!

Atticus has just jumped in my lap for the first time since we brought Fin home and is slowly starting to purr again.

It seems as though Fin will be a good fit. We are hopeful that he will bring Atticus out of his scardy cat shell and into the real lovie that's inside of him.


i am going fricken stir crazy! won't someone come out and play!?

e.t.a: i am in serious need of girl time. luckily, one of my girlfriends just called and she works as a waitress so i'm going to see her for breakfast on thursday. but i still need more girl time. i SO wish my other girlfriends lived closer. i need to plan something. sally? jacarandabush? flowergirl? amber? wendy?


christmas recap

it's the day after christmas and everything is a blur from the past few days. christmas eve we went over to the in-laws. dinner was um...not so good. we had roast beef, which i was excited about, but it was soooo rare it was practically still alive. and there were potatoes au gratin that were so well done that parts of them were crunchy...and a strange salad with mandarine oranges ~ which i normally love ~ with onion that just killed the taste. then there was store bought apple and pumkin pies. it just wasn't that good at all.

meanwhile, my parents were having beef roladen, spatzle, home made rolls, red cabbage and celery root salad. my mouth is watering just thinking of that...

we stayed for a few hours then went back to our mini house were we exchanged gifts. that part was fun. atticus made out like a little bandit, getting all kind of kitty toys. chris liked all his clothes, his weather clock and various other things. he got me some fun little things, like socks and tank tops from banana and a french press from starbucks. oh and a beautiful ring. it's so simple and elegant. the ring itself is 14k white gold and has a strip of 10 little diamonds around the middle. i love it. it fits perfectly on my right hand ring finger ~ he even had it sized appropriately. i had no idea! and he bought it over a month and a half ago. points for him, especially since it wasn't something i had pointed out or asked for. very well done, indeed.

i got a very cool digital photo frame delio from one of my favorite girlfriends that i'm very much looking forward to setting it up. another favorite girlfriend sent me some cool scrapbook stuff and a gret book about girlie friendship. flowergirl and i also exchanged gifts the other day and that was great fun as well. she gave me some fresh baked pastry and peets holiday coffee, all of which is gone into my tummy. mmmmm.

later we went to midnight mass, which as nice. we sat with c's folks and one of our friends. the service was nice and didn't go as slowly as i thought it would. i got into bed around 2:30 am but of course, couldn't fall asleep right away.

christmas day we slept in until 10 am, which felt great. we were due back at the in-law's at 11 am so we had to get moving. brunch was set out in the kitchen, which was a lot better than the dinner offerings the night before. the best gift we got was a cuisinart popcorn maker from granny. she also gave me a pretty pearl necklace and a little spending money. c and his brother got hooked up as usual, but i felt a bit slighted. i know i know ~ i have complained about his mom overdoing things, but it was apparent to me that she was no longer interested in spending money on me. the only gifts i really got from his folks were joint gifts, like a chair massager and blanket. there were random things for me in my stocking, like more socks and a bird clock, but nothing like the past few years. i think she's more interested in c's brother's girlfriend, but that's fine.

she gave us all breast cancer stamps again this year. this annoys the hell out of me. she had a 'scare' with breast cancer several years ago ~ when i first started dating c ~ and she acts like she had full blown cancer. i know cancer is very serious, don't get me wrong. but good lord. she acts like such a fucking victim over it! she had a tiny non cancerous spot removed from her breast and she won't let it go that she had cancer! granny had cancer and you never, ever hear a peep from her. hell, most of the women i know that have had cancer don't say anything. they don't feel sorry for themselves, they don't act like victims, they just keep living their lives. it just angers me so much that she acts like that. she didn't fucking have breast cancer!

we left a little after 2, and none to early for me. aside from not really wanting to hang out with c's family any longer, i was dying from the crimson wave. it was the worst i have ever felt. in fact, i was in dire need of changing um...something that had only been in for 3 hours. that's all i'll say about that. i was in a lot of pain ~ pain that i had never really experienced before. i've had friends that have had miserable cramps, but i never had them that bad. until yesterday. i went to lie down as soon as we got home and stayed in bed until 9:30 am this morning. i even missed c's brother and girlfriend coming over to watch a new dvd. thankfully, i'm much better today.

i had been off the pill for a few months and after a long discussion with myself, have decided to go back on it. that will help the crimson wave a lot as well as my mental well being. for some reason, i thought i should let fate decide if it was time for an addition to my life. after 4 months of tempting fate, i have decided to step in and take control. i am in no means ready for any change of that sort and am doing just fine with my crazy cat and with c ~ especially since the cat still sporatically craps on the floor and c is still sporatically a jerk.

it's storming out and is very fitting to my mood right now. i'm in a very meloncholy mood today and am not sure why. i would love to hang out with a girlfriend, but i really don't want to leave the house in this weather. maybe i'll just curl up with the cat and watch one of our many new dvds.

okay, so i'm really trying not to be a bitterman about christmas. it's been a very good day so i'd say i'm doing well on that front.

i did get up early, mostly because i didn't sleep very well, and also because c is so friggen loud when he gets up. i stayed in bed a long time reading and drinking coffee, which was good. atticus snuggled with me, which was great ~ even though he had pooped on the floor ~ i didn't have the heart to throw him in the garage as punishment.

i chatted on line for a while with my friend, uptrodden, then headed to the gym for another rock star workout. i felt so good after my workout!

so good, that i treated myself to mc d's when i was done. mmmm. tastes so good when it hits the lips. c hates mc d's so i always go when he's not around. and today, i ran into a bunch of people ~ including the ups guy ~ that i knew there.

and speaking of the ups guy, i have been seeing him so much lately! it's funny. when i was out for coffee with a girlfriend the other day at starbucks, i ran into the ups guy again and she couldn't believe how many people i know in town ~ and she grew up here. what can i say....i've got personality. heh heh.

anywho, after my delicious lunch, i had some sky rockets in flight...afternoon delight....mmm. wot!?

later i started working on c's christmas gift to his dad and bro. yes, i'm making their gift. he got together a bunch of photos of his family hunting from years ago and some current ones and i had to put them all together in a frame delio with some creative artwork of my own creation. i worked on it for 2 hours and only gone one finished. it looks great, though. i actually started on the photo part earlier in the week...but still it's a big project. luckily that's all i have left for christmas.

c came home around 6 pm and we went to a meeting and picked up a pizza for dinner. he's watching the sopranos and i'm futzing around in the office. we watched 3 hours of the sopranos last night, so i'm a bit burnt on the mafia right now. bada bing, bada bang.

i'm also a retard, yet again, with the house finances. i had to ask flowergirl if she could hold the check i sent her so i could figure things out. i'm so lame! i hate having to do that and i owe her big time. thankfully she's a good friend and very understanding of my retard ways. yaaaaaaaaay.

c is getting up at the ass-crack of dawn to go hunting so i'm going to get some good sleep in time. i might actually do some writing tomorrow. but we'll see. i might also think of a plan so that i can flee like a rat from christmas if it gets to be too much...

but right now, my little dog will is sleeping along side atty. you know, will. will-to-live. yeah, he's back. :)

since christmas is upon us, i have finally posted some photos of the mini decorations around the house. the photo doesn't really do the garland justice, but i made it all myself and i think it came out pretty well ~ thanks to flowergirl for showing me the way of festive decorating! and surprisingly, atticus hasn't destroyed the tree, or even taken much interest in it.

we're spending christmas with c's family and i'm not really looking all that forward to it. they are such an odd family. there's no warmth or love. well, if there is any, it's all hidden under unhappiness, resentment and judgement. it's just an uncomfortable environment. everything is so cold in his parent's house ~ and sadly, it's a combination of cold temprature and cold feelings. everthing feels so sterile there. everyone is so stuffy. and it's only immediate family that will be there. and there's always a seating chart and i NEVER get to sit next to c at dinner! it's retarded. and we have to go for both christmas eve and christmas day. and gift time is so strange. his mother totally tries to buy love. i mean, she goes nuts with gifts. don't get me wrong, i love to recieve, but it's a bit out of control.

i'm really trying not to be a bitterman....

Happy Hump Day!

while shopping for my girls this holiday season, i have stumbled upon THE BEST new lip gloss. ever. i simply adore the whole philosophy line of products ~ ever since my maid of honor gave me the bride gift set for my wedding shower several years ago ~ and i have to say these tasty lip glosses are just sooo delish. i had to keep one for myself and can't stop putting it on!

i just tried taking pictures of my mini living room with the mini christmas tree, but just as i was pressing the 'cheese' button, my camera died ~the batteries went dead. so you'll have to wait until i get new batteries. i should have everything posted by tonight.

most of my gifts are wrapped and i'm going to the post this morning to send my girlfriend her gift. i put all the cards in the mail over the weekend, so that's done as well.

all i really have left is to work on a photo collage for c's brother and dad and get his mom a gift. c came up with a great idea to get a bunch of photos of the boys in his family hunting and put them together in a frame, but guess who gets to do all the work...yep, me. but, it's something that i really enjoy doing, so that's all right.

i think i'm going to get his mom some classes at the culinary school here. well, it's more of a place where well known chefs in the area teach classes. it's something she's talked about doing but never has done.

oh, and my dad. i have NO idea what to get him. i already gave my mom her gift ~ she went to puerto rica this summer and talked about this tiny frog that she kept seeing and loved, so i knew i had to get her one of these darling little frogs. well, i better get hopping and get my errands done!

i went on a shopping spree yesterday. mostly for christmas, but i had to buy some stuff for myself, too!
i finally broke down and went to vickie's secrets and bought the bra flowergirl has been raving about. i am just mad i never bought it before! it is hands down the best bra ever. i bought two, they were so great. and the matching panties. and yes, my cleavage looks just like the girls in the photos (those are the colors/patterns i bought). yum!


i'm in such a bizarre mood right now. part meloncoloy, part something else that i can't quite define. i had a good day. hung out with friends for breakfast, ran errands and cleaned the hell out of the house while waiting for the electricity to come back on ~ 45 minutes later than predicted.

no one has been online to chat with, so that's been sad. and by chatting online, i mean with people who are actually my friends, people who i see and talk to. people who actually know me and not just the cyber me. although it would be fun to chat with a few folks i have met thru blogging, like kate, october, dillydilly, gypsy...but somehow, it's nice just to read their posts and post my own thots on their sites.

i'm in such a strange place in my life right now. with leaving my job, a lot has changed in me. while i'm proud of myself for leaving that wretched place, i feelas though i've lost a bit of purpose. maybe that's because i don't have much support. sure, my fantastic friends support me, but none of my family does. and neither does c.

speaking of c, he has been so damn crabby and grumpy as of late, that today i stumbled upon some baby bubble bath called 'california baby...overtired and crabby' ~ so i bought it for c. HA. it even has a bubble wand in the bottle to blow bubbles with. if that doesn't make his smile, then he's just pure evil.

is it wrong that i want some hot latin guy to walk up to me, say 'como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa'...then do with me as he pleases? wot?!?!

i told you i was in a mood!


You're a Free Love Kisser

Of all the kissing types, you've racked up the most experience. Kissing is no big deal to you - you'll kiss anyone you find hot!It's easy for you to take the plunge and make the first move.And you don't really consider kissing to be cheating!

theme songs...

...everyone has one, and to me, it's always changing depending where i am in life.

right now, my theme song is
'my hips don't lie' by shakira.

one of my girlfriend's theme song is 'my humps' by the black eyed peas.

what's your song?

eta....another friend responded...his song is 'simple man' by lynyrd skynyrd.

i am beat! i just worked out at the gym really hard and my calfs and abs are wondering what the hell is going on since i never work out like that. i just figure it's about time i get in shape again.

one of my girlfriends sent me a christmas card with a few photos from her wedding this spring. holy cow, i had a pudgy face then! i really didn't realize how much weight i actually had gained until i saw myself in photographs. i remember looking at a photograph from last summer when i was at a different girlfriend's bachelorette party in vegas....holy crap did i look awful in a bathing suit!!

in the last year of drinking, i went from 96 lbs to 125 lbs. that's a 30lb weight gain. being 5 feet tall, that was a huge difference. i went from a size 0 to a size 4. i even went to a size 6 bathing suit. i had a bunch of great designer jeans that i could no longer fit in and a whole bunch of other clothes that didn't fit right anymore either. i now weigh 110 and feel great. i want to stay at that weight. i think it looks good on me. i have a great figure now. the only part that i enjoyed gaining weight was in my boobs. ;)

and now i fit into those jeans again! i tried them all on yesterday and was so excited. only one pair doesn't fit at all and another pair is pretty tight, but i do have 5 pairs i can wear again. feels like i went shopping all over again ~ except this time i didn't spend any money.

and today when i was at the gym, i fit into my size 4 bathing suit without any problems at all. yipee!

the electric company (hey you guys!!!) was working on my street all day so i didn't have electricity until about 10 minutes ago. that sucked big time. the same thing will happen tomorrow. i totally take electricity for granted. i couldn't do anything at home today. the only thing i could do was turn on the heater since it's propane. so, i met a girlfriend for coffee, then we went to lunch. later i had a phone interview ~ which i think went pretty well ~ and went to the gym. now i'm home. i had to sit in the dark for about 10 minutes when the power finally came back on. now i can take care of the rest of the laundry. hopefully everything in the fridge and freeze made it. it's been chilly out so hopefully everything will be just fine.

the worst part of being without electricity was that i wasn't able to make coffee at home. that was hands down the worst part!!

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

day two

day two of being unemployed and i feel great. in fact, i don't remember the last time i was so happy and laughed so much.

i met a friend for breakfast this morning and we stayed for about 2 hours just chatting it up. two other friends were working so we got the mad hook ups. later i went to the gym and worked out hard for an hour and a half. i know my legs will be like rubber tomorrow. i ran some errands and paid bills. i straightened up the house and did laundry. all in all it was a very productive day.

tomorrow and thursday, the electrical company will be working on my street so i will be out of power from 8 am - 5 pm both days. that is going to suck big time. i have no idea what i'm going to do! i can't even make myself coffee at home. thank god there's at least a starbucks here in town. i have a feeling i will be hanging out there for quite a bit tomorrow. at least it's in the same shopping center as my gym....

i also have a phone interview tomorrow at 2:30 pm. the only bummer is that i have to take the call on my cell rather than on a land line since the electricity will be out. but, i know things could be worse. like i could still be working at my old job! HA

today was the first day without a job. and you know, i didn't miss it one bit. i had a ton of errands to do so i ran around all day. i had to go to the gym to reinstate my membership, as i got a deal thru my work, and it had already been cancelled. while i was there, i ran into one of my favorite girlfriends so we had lunch and caught up with things. it was great. i then ran around, trying to avoid the rain as best i could since i had left my umbrella at home.

i got some good news in my inbox this of the places where i interviewed last week asked for a second interview this week. yipee! so, i have a second interview this wednedsday afternoon. yay, me!

i also got a text message from a guy i worked with this morning telling me that he liked me and wanted to 'get close to me'. wtf? sorry. he's not getting a damn thing from me. he never has and he never will. despite that fact that he has a girlfriend with a butter face. you know, she has a great body, but her face....and he's told me numerous times that he wants to break up with her and all about his numerous crushes on women we worked with...i have absolutely NO desire to do anything with him, ever. so needless to say, i won't be going to coffee with him anymore! he's so swarmy. eewww.

now i'll just have to think of the delicious nibblets that i know ....mmmm.... that's better!

today was my last day at work. it started out fine and dandy, i took some photos with a few of my favorite colleagues and had eggs benedict for breakfast. but then, things took a turn for yes, folks, i got thrown in the pool. with my nice work clothes on. luckily, the pool is heated and the rain had stopped for a bit. and since i was suspecting this might happen, i brought a change of clothes. thank god i did, since it was sooo cold once i got out of the pool!

tomorrow is my last day at my job. it was supposed to be next sunday, but as of thursday, the great executive folks that work here, decided that they no longer want the restaurant to be open before dinner. so, that means my whole staff had a 3 day notice before they lost their jobs. nice. oh, but the execs still want to be open on saturday and sunday. hmmm. how is that going to work? my whole staff is upset, and rightfully so. that pretty much leaves 10 people out of jobs. no one is going to want to work only 2 weekend days. it's not worth it.

i asked what would have happened to me, had i not given notice a few weeks ago, and they said they would have found another place for me at the hotel. that is such bull, as there is no other place at the hotel. the whole hotel is downsizing.

but, at least i get to collect unemployment, right? because they let me go before my resignation date? at least i think that's what will happen. it's all just a big mess, if you ask me.

on another note, i had to speak at an aa meeting last night. share my story and tell them all about me. surprisingly, i wasn't really all that nervous and felt that i did really well. i had to speak for 20 minutes about what happened and what it's like for me now. it felt really good, actually, to get it all out. plus, i spoke in a very general way so it really wasn't that bad at all. it was a good release, actually.

well, now i'll have time to figure out my life a bit...


I stole this meme about being BOLD from Sally...everything I have done is in BOLD. I sure feel like I haven't done that much....but, then again, there is a lot that I have done that is not listed...won't you play too?

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said “I love you” and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had/Have amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the snake river
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in a Rocky Horror Picture Show
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pisto
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read “The Iliad”
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

one of my friends told me i'm amazing today. it was the sweetest thing and totally filled my heart. he said some other really kind things and it's so nice to hear. this is why i love my friends so much. and damn it. i am amazing. i am way cool and have fantastic taste in music. and i have gotten way better looking. maybe because i have finally figured out how to dress, wear make up and do my hair. i swear...since i moved here, things have changed dramatically for me.

maybe it's because i'm finally paying attention to me and what i want.... like a hot, built,!

it is especially nice to hear kind words from my friends when c calls me his 'fucking wife'. and keeps complaining how he works 2 jobs (his regular job and his teaching job) and that i only have one 'half ass' job. it's soo infuriating.

but i'm so glad i have special friends. and by special, i mean the kind that ride the short bus....

i'm crazy. i know it. i'm going to get up at the ass-crack of dawn to go the flowermarket with flowergirl. i have to be at her house at 4 am, which means i have to leave my house by 3:30 am. we're driving to the City. it should be great, though. since she's a florist she gets the wholesale price and gets in before the regular people get to go.

work was uneventful, except for the part where the morning crew keeps saying they are going to throw me in the pool on my last day. and since i'm so small, i don't doubt that they will. i just better remember not to wear a white shirt that day!!! and since they have a history of throwing people in for various things, i'm pretty sure it'll happen. thankfully the pool is heated... :)

c and i are going to a magazine launch party this thursday at the hotel. it should be fun and i'm looking forward to dressing up. i don't know the last time i dressed up. i think i'm going to wear one of my black cocktail dresses and some strappy heals. i better get a sassy pedicure!

i haven't gone to a launch since he worked at an ad agency in the City. we used to go all the time. that was so great. i miss doing that sort of thing. well, i better make dinner.

so there

i got into yet another discussion with c about saving and finances. how i'm too impulsive. how i live for the moment, not for the future. well, if you don't live in the now, what are you living for? i understand the need to live for the future, to save for it, to do all that, but what about now? you can't just live, with the only the care about what is going to happen another day.

hell, i didn't drink today and i live for that. each day is a new day. i can't say, well, maybe i won't drink next week, so if i drink tomorrow, it won't be a big deal. wrong. i can't do that.

i did some crazy, happy things today, and i don't regret any of them. having regrets takes too much energy.

i went to the grocery store this evening and ran into one of the first girls i met when i was in college over 11 years ago. she now lives here with her husband and i ran into her at safeway. she knew me several boyfriends ago when we both partied a lot. i used to swing dance with one of her boyfriends. then i ran into a colleague, one of c's old colleagues and someone i know from aa.

but, it felt really good to know all those people. it made me smile. a lot.

c got on to me about leaving my job. he's dissapointed in me, says i'm not tough and should have stuck it out. he has no idea what i put up with there. how shitty working there is. how i put my ass on the line everyday for my staff and people crap on me constantly. and i only have 2 good people working for me and my boss wants to steal one of them for the night time and just leave me with one good server. (he wants to take the buser). grrr. whatever. i'm strong. i'm tough. i'm little and i'm sassy. don't fuck with me.

blogger is acting goofy so i will have to go back and edit this later. it's not giving me an options with font, graphics or color, and is making me feel bland. and right now i definitely do not feel bland.

today was a goofy day. i did not want to get up, which is normal, but my car was parked in a different spot ~ c parked in my normal spot last night ~ so that threw me off and the ground was frozen solid. it was so friggen cold when i ran out to start my car, i could have cut glass.

i finally got off to work, arriving only 30 minutes late today. hey, with the whole 5 minutes of tasks i actually have before we open, i was able to get everything done. one of my busers overslept, so i had to wake his lazy ass, but it's not like he really does anything. everyone complains about him and he drives me friggen nuts. he thinks he's so great and suave, but he's so swarmy. and he thinks he's the funniest guy, but nothing he says ever makes sense.

then one of my servers had about 10 mini freakouts today. and by freakouts i mean she cries, stomps's such drama..and she's 54! so pathetic. her freakouts make everyone uncomfortable. no one wants to deal with her, so they just let her freakout, which is just wrong.

i have one good server and one good busser. if only i could duplicate them. i often try to schedule them off on days that i have off so i will always get to work with them. is that wrong? but, at least i only have 14 days left...oh, but who is counting?!

most of my day was uneventful, but i was in a silly mood. i had crossed the line with inapropriate comments right at the start of the day and it all went down hill from there. luckily, those i made comments to didn't mind them and actually bantered back.

i just wrote thank you notes for the two interviews i went on last week. i really, really, really want the job i interveiwed for yesterday. keep your fingers crossed, please!

looking outside my window right now i see that the moon is full. perhaps this is why today was so crazy. and by crazy, i mean crazy in a good way...

it's amazing how much better i feel about things, not that i have given my notice. i have been smiling a lot lately. and singing. and dancing in front of the mirror. and laughing. it's great. work has still been evil, but i'm able to laugh at it more now, since i will be leaving soon. in 15 days. but whose counting? :)

on another note...i had two GREAT interviews this week. i really, really want the job i just got back from. they told me they hope to finish up the interviews by the end of this week, make on offer and have everything wrapped up by the 11th. the other job said they would get back to me soon. i have good references and a solid resume and i think i nailed both keep your fingers crossed!!!

i have been dealing with a bad migraine all day so i'm going to lay down for a while...

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