i have left the dreaded job for a whirlwind weekend. we are getting up early tomorrow and heading to tahoe for a friend's wedding. it will be quite the affair, for sure. the festivities actually started today, but since we're not skiers, we aren't going up until tomorrow. today was a big ski party as is most of the day tomorrow. part of incline is even reserved just for people coming to the event. tomorrow night will be a cocktail and dessert reception, which we will attend. saturday is the wedding and sunday is a big brunch. hubby and i went to an elaborate wedding several years ago in seattle and that was the wedding of all weddings, and sadly, the one my mil always compares our wedding to. anywho, i believe this wedding will be on the same level of that wedding. and i have NO idea what to wear. guess i better figure that out fast, as i don't have that many hours left until we leave.

i am looking forward to going, though, as the girl getting married is one of hubby's friends from grad school and the whole gang will be there. we haven't seen most of the group since hubby's birthday this summer, so it will be a lot of fun. we're staying at a fancy hotel and i've upgraded us to a fancier room as i know we won't be going anywhere fun for a long time. hubby is already stressing out about how much we will have to pay in taxes this year and has already had the 'we have to cut our spending' lecture with me. sigh.

the only part of the weekend i'm not looking forward to is: my parents will be in town. yep. my dad called me this afternoon to say he and my mother are driving up today and will be in town all weekend, oh and they want to stay at my work. really? could you give me a little more notice? and do you not remember the conversations we've had that i WILL BE OUT OF TOWN? yeah, they were hoping i would change my plans. um, no. no, i will not. i was able to book them at my work on sunday and monday night so they will be staying in SF tonight, tomorrow and saturday. they want to know when we'll be back on sunday and i told them 'late'. i really have no idea, but i'm certainly not going to rush back just to see them. my parents are notorious for doing this and it really pisses me off. the total lack for what anyone else is doing completely escapes them.

i told my father today that i would not be going to the dreaded shower and he said i had already told my mother that i would help, so i had to come. wtf? i did no such thing. when i offered to help, she told me no, that she would handle it. somehow she turned that around that i was going to come help. fuck no am i going down there. i don't care WHAT they think of me. i'm not putting myself in that position.

oh, and it gets better. today my father decided it was a good idea to let some totally random guy that he knows to MOVE IN WITH THEM because he is down on his luck. um...what? and he didn't even ASK my mother. wtf is that?! oh, and the coup de grace to all this is that the guy is moving in today. the day my parents are leaving town for 5 days. nice.

on a good note, i think i am over my nausea. i did have a gnarly migraine for 2 days, but at least the nausea is gone. and one of the gals at work confirmed that i am, in fact, showing a tiny bit. and another gal said the same thing. so that makes me happy.

now if only my pizza that i ordered would arrive....

my mother is throwing a shower for her god-daughter. wait. let me back up a bit to give you some history: my parents have been friends with john and carol since my dad went to college with john. john and carol are really nice people and they have 3 kids who my parents are godparents to. now, while john and carol are super nice, they are also um....really really whisky tango. we could never go into their house because it was always such a disaster. see, they are big time horders. i'm not even kidding. it's awful. needless to say, they always came to our house instead of us going to theirs.

a few years ago, carol died from cancer. she was gone within 6 months of being diagnosed and it was just devastating. john has never recovered, nor have his children.

only one of the kids went to college and the other two work at either blockbuster or random gas stations. one of the girls (2 girls, 1 boy) got preggers by some random guy who, of course, is no longer in her life. the other girl is the one who my mother is throwing the shower for. now, this girl went to college and is a teacher. she has broken the mold of her family. she's put together and has goals. she has been dating this guy for a few years and they are getting married in april.

sounds good, so far, right? well, growing up whisky tango, she never learned about saving money or how much things really cost. she is also having a HUGE mexican wedding because the guy she is getting married to is mexican. i've been to mexican weddings and they are an enormous event and pretty different than an American wedding. anyhow, i called my mother today to ask how the shower planning is going. turns out this girl has invited 80 people to the friggen shower at my parents house! are you fucking kidding me?! and she expects my parents to foot the bill! holy shit! and my mother wants the party outside because she doesn't want all those people WHO SHE HAS NEVER MET BEFORE inside her house. and frankly, i don't blame her at all. but a month it will be only the begining of march and well, while i know los angeles is nice most of the year, it's still a little chilly to be outside.

on one hand, this is all none of my business. on the other, i am very protective of my parents and their house. they are savers who buy nice things because they have saved long and hard for them. i know this sounds awful, but i do worry about things walking away or being broken by people who don't care and will never be back. and having 80 strangers in your home at one time is a scary thing. and frankly, their house isn't nearly big enough for that! and my mother thinks it's silly to have to rent tables and chairs so she won't do that. this party is going to be a fucking disaster. i asked if she wanted any help, and she said no. my mother rarely entertains for more than half a dozen people and even so, it's usually a pretty simple event. i can only imagine how this is going to turn out. and i know it will be my fault when this goes badly. sure, i can stay away, but i am invited and if i do go, i will be expected to help and that will totally stress me out because, hello, did i mention 80 PEOPLE?! and if i stay away, my parents will give me the guilt trip for not helping. it's a no win situation for me. and no, i'm not being dramatic. it's just how my parents operate. i get blamed for things even when i'm not directly involved.

so what would you do if you were in this situation?


thanks to a girl, a boy & me, i really really really want pinkberry. i mean, any kind of frozen yogurt goodness would be most delightful, but sadly, i live in an area that obviously doesn't believe in frozen yogurt as there are no shops anywhere. and i've totally called around.

sigh. maybe i'll stop by baskin robbins on the way home.

i have totally been craving dairy since i got pregnant. milk, strawberry milkshakes, yogurt, ice cream. but mostly milk and ice cream. and now frozen yogurt.

i haven't really craved much else, well, except for sleep....


ah look. it's the middle of the night and i'm wide awake again. lovely. and wouldn't you know it, i'm still angry. i really hate being angry, but it's such a common mood for me these days. i realize now that this is one of the major reasons i went on anti-anxiety meds several years ago. i am now back to how i used to feel before i started taking them. my tolerance for people is so much lower now and everything seems to piss me off not matter what i do. sure i know that i have pregnancy hormones surging through me, but that's not all that's going on. the feelings that i have been experiencing these past few days are just like the old days. i can't wait until i can go back on my meds because it sucks being so angry all the time. and no, my anger is not fear based, thankyouverymuch.

here are a few things that have pissed me off most recently:

today while at a girlfriend's house for a body shop at home party, i commented how i needed to find a bank as i didn't have any cash to cross the toll bridge to get back home. one of the girls who was there (who i normally really don't like) asked me why i don't have fastrak. i told her since i rarely ever cross toll bridges, it wouldn't be worth it for me. she then says "don't you ever come to the bay area?" i said "i live in the bay area. i live in the north bay." she actually had the audacity to argue with me in front of everyone that i DON'T live in the bay area. oh, i'm sorry. you're right i have no fucking idea where i have been living for the past 3 years. silly me.

people who assume that just because i am pregnant we are suddenly going to run out and buy a house. um...we haven't bought a house because they are so fucking expensive where we live. if you need a reference, look at the north bay and bay area links above. the median price for a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house with a small yard is roughly $650k. and that's for a house that's several years old and could probably stand some work. anything less than that would require a major overhaul. so really? we can't afford to buy anything in the near future and really? we LIKE where we live. sure, the house is small, but for now, it's just fine. we don't mind painting and light work, but we are not the type to remodel things ourselves. many of our friends have, and that's great for them. but i am so sick and tired of people asking when we are buying a house. isn't it enough that we're finally pregnant??

hubby's uncle got divorced last year and has for some reason decided to keep a bunch of his stuff in our garage as storage. hubby's mother keeps bringing stuff over as well. i haven't said anything because the garage is hubby's domain and i could frankly care less. but now, we will be converting the office into a nursery so the desk and couch that WE own have got to go. well, since our garage is full of hubby's uncle's crap, we have no where to store OUR stuff. his mother's solution? for us to get a storage unit. are you fucking kidding me? we are storing stuff for her brother, who lives two hours away. why the hell would we put our stuff in storage? why can't he put HIS stuff in storage? then she had the audacity to suggest that we get a storage unit with her so we could store his stuff and our stuff and have us foot the bill. i hit the roof when hubby told me this.

the only meeting i am going to for aa these days is the friday night meeting that i secretary. frankly, i feel like crap most of the time and have no desire to do anything but sleep ~ well, except for now, obviously. anyhow, my sponsor has been berating me about not calling her regularly and for not going to more meetings. are you kidding me? aa meetings are nothing but social gatherings to me. i never get anything out of them. i don't have a bond with anyone there. i don't live and breath the program. sure, it has helped me, but i still maintain that i am doing this ON MY OWN LIKE I DO EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE. i have no desire to pick up a drink, especially now, and really? i'm not going to call anyone in the program if i do want to. i will call one of my girlfriends who knows me and loves me for me and understand me and still likes me. there is no one in aa like that for me. no one at all.

when people tell me i'm going to be a good mommy. how the fuck would they know? i have never liked children, have rarely been around them and hardly have any maternal instincts. i am not close to any adult women and don't know the first thing about children. i don't even like holding children. even now. yes, i realize things will change and i'm sure it will all be fine, but really? what makes you think i will be a good parent? really. i want to know.

hubby forcing me to go to church. suddenly he thinks we need to go to church every weekend because i am pregnant. i never liked going to church and i stopped going a long time ago and certainly resent being forced into going now. i tried to compromise, saying we could go on sunday mornings then go to breakfast afterwards, but he vetoed that saying it was better to go saturday evening to get it out of the way. everything always has to be on his terms. i didn't go this weekend because i was exhausted and he got all pissy with me.

that being pregnant is the only thing my parents have ever been proud of me for. no, i'm not feeling sorry for myself, i'm stating the facts. they have never uttered the word 'proud' to me. the never once attended a cheerleading, swimming or gymnastics event of mine. they didn't understand why i wanted to go to college and didn't even want to come see me graduate. they couldn't understand why hubby's parents threw me a graduation party all those years ago and will still bring that up on occasion. with each job i have gotten, they have never once said a kind word. they have always asked when i would stay home and raise a family. when i got married my father said it was about time because i was already getting a bit too old. i was 27.

how people assume that because i'm pregnant, i'm getting taken care of by those around me. i'm doing everything myself. sure, hubby has picked up some of the slack at home and has done the laundry and the dishes recently, but you would think the world was ending by his constant complaining. and i still have to make him dinner all the time. and forget about him going to the grocery store with me! he avoids that place like the plague. and no, i honestly don't see it getting any better the further along i get. that whole saying about how you can't change anyone? yeah. hubby will never change. he will always be loud, inconsiderate, condescending and selfish. now i'm definitely not saying i'm an angel, but at least i have compassion for others. he may have some for other's, but definitely not for me.

i am so tired of hubby saying what a bad driver i am and how he has to buy me yet another car. oh, sorry. i totally meant to get my car totaled. that was all planned. anytime i mention needing something, he says "well, i bought you a car and you destroyed it, so you don't deserve anything else." nice. did i mention that he STILL talks about my engagement ring as the nice gift he bought me that i need to be grateful for? he bought me that almost 7 years ago. get the fuck over it.

at least my cats like me and don't say stupid things to piss me off.

so i'm up and it's the middle of the night. i'm pretty much wide awake at this point with no sleep coming my way anytime soon. i first woke up because i had to pee and then just wasn't able to fall back asleep, over 2 hours ago. i finally gave up all hope for sleep and made a nest on the couch in the living room. i turned on the heat and closed the bedroom door, lest hubby complain that the heat is on.

oh yes, he is quite a tyrant about the heat. he would prefer us to freeze rather than pay the heating bill, which really isn't all that much. seriously. i'm not kidding. this has been an ongoing battle for me. being that we live in a really old house, we only have a propane wall unit as a heater. at some point this summer, the pilot light went out and hubby refused to have it lit again once winter came. um, seriously? our house gets to a lovely 40 degrees in the winter. not okay. and since the heater is really old, the pilot light has to be lit by a professional since it's pretty tricky. a few weeks ago a girlfriend was over and was able to light it and hubby hit the roof, saying i had undermined him by lighting it. whatever. i refuse to freeze my ass off because he is a miser. anyhow, the pilot light "mysteriously" went out over the weekend when it was a warm 29 degrees outside and i hit the roof. i immediately called the propane company to come and light it, saying I would pay the friggen bill with my spending money so the house account would have to pay for it because this was getting ridiculous. so anyway. the heat is on and i have one the battle. FOR NOW.

so here i sit, on the couch all bundled up with sawyer on my lap. i was going to write a post about how i'm having a huge pity party for myself and wouldn't you like to come, when i read a few posts by the darling maggie and well, she put things into perspective, yet again. sigh. fine. pity party over. for now, at least.

but i must say, that yesterday was one of my crummiest feeling days yet. i am seriously over being sick every friggen day. i know millions of women have been through this, but i am SO OVER IT. i am tired of feeling like a parrot eating crackers and toast all the time. and my prenatal vitamins seriously make me want to puke and they actually have a few times. i have to take them and lie down while willing my stomach to accept the dreaded beast. every. freaking. night.

i left work a half hour early yesterday because i was feeling so awful and i'm thinking that since i've been up most of the night that i will just call in sick today. i will be a wreck otherwise. well, more than normal, i suppose. and for someone who never calls in sick or is late, this whole pregnancy thing has put things into a whole different ballgame.

*billy joel river of dreams, which i wish was happening right now rather than being awake...

now i'm sad.

read about it here and here.

and by it, i mean me. i am in a horrible mood today and the people i work with are only making it worse. i work with the biggest bunch of idiots and i have figured out why. see, i work in the service industry right now and you don't have to be smart to be here. in fact, they don't even care if you have finished high school or can speak english to work in service, at least around here.

yes, i know. everyone has got to start somewhere. but seriously? i'm so over it.

just this weekend our IT guy had to move the 'company-all' email to the bottom of the email directory because so many people accidently send 'comapny-all' emails because they are not paying attention when they are cc'ing on email. really? is it that hard to look at who you are sending an email to before you hit send? and these are people in management who are making this error.

another thing that drive me batty is that people who work here think they are at the same level socially and financially as the people who stay here. um..are you fucking kidding me? we are a 5 star resort. our rooms start at $800 a night and go to well over $2,000. our restaurant has the same reputation as the french laundry and you're trying to tell me that because you work here, you think you are just as affluent as those who stay here? i bet the highest income earner here is only in the mid 70K range. (yes, this is a good salary..but not if you're upper level management!) and that might be two or three people, max. pretty much everyone here is a blue collar worker. now, i'm not saying that's a bad thing. i'm just stating a fact.

just the other day at a meeting, someone in charge commented how we might be going into a recession. um...really? this has been on the news for MONTHS and you are just now paying attention? also, the type of clientele we have here would not be impacted by a recession. the people who stay here do so because it is mere pocket change to them. many are celebrites, socialites and political figures who could give a rat's ass about how much they are spending.

another thing that's weird about the people here is they think i drive a totally fancy car-- and i am only driving a 2003 chevy trail blazer. sure, it's got a few bells and whistles, but it's a freaking chevy. you should have seen their eyes bug out when i had my volvo. you would have though i drove up in a bently. the other day i was mentioning to my boss that hubby and i had been looking at volvos again and had found one almost exactly like the one we had for only 24K and he looking at me like i had two heads for wanting to spend that much. he then went on to tell me how i could buy a new american car for way less. um, no thanks. it's called safety. i want to feel safe and walk away from an accident like i just did. if i had been in my american made saturn, i would not have been so lucky.

maybe it's just me, but working in corporate environments and other industries has left me with a higher set of standards than the people here could even manage to attain. everyone here thinks it's fine to work at an hourly wage, punch the time clock and get overtime for some extra hours. holidays are at a premium, but hey, we do get time and a half if we work on them. and that's fine for some people, but just not me.

and while i have a decent position and get decent pay, i am still hourly and it drives me nuts. i don't know the last job i had that was hourly. maybe working retail when i was in college. i'm all for people working in the service industry, but it's just not for me. especially at a place where people have such an attitude and they are stupid on top of it. i used to agree with the "those who can't do, teach" but now, i believe the correct saying is "those who can't do, work in the service industry". teachers at least have an education and are giving others an education. and the are doing. people here are not doing and would never, ever make it in the real world.

but, i am going to continue sucking it up an stay until i have the peanut. i will probably not come back after that. i can only take this for so much longer. i need to be around people who can at least write in complete gramatically correct sentences or god forbid use spell check before a document goes out.

i'm tired.

i am so tired of feeling like crap. i am so tired of this horrible haircut. i am so tired of people not leaving me alone.

yes, i know i will feel better eventually. yes, i know my hair will eventually grow. yes, i will call you back, eventually. but right now? it's time for me, not you.

i've had a tough past few months and i just want to be left alone. why is that so hard for some people to understand? just because i haven't called or written doesn't mean i don't like you anymore, it just means i have stuff going on. sometimes i just don't want to talk to anyone. i really don't feel like being social right now.

don't worry, i'll be back to my normal, social self, eventually. just, please. stop taking it so damn personally if i haven't been in touch.


the delightful maybelline tagged me for this meme and while it took a bit of searching through my previous posts to find something good, it was fun to check out the stuff i had forgotten about.

here are the rules: post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. the posts have to relate to the 5 key words given here (family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like). tag 5 other friends to do this meme. try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.

family: trials and tribulations with my
mother and my mil
friend: i'm so glad for all my
yourself: sometimes i'm a little fussy
your love: all the
crazy boys i dated before hubby
anything you like: our beloved
finn, who we miss dearly

okay ... now it's time to pass it along. i tag sally, terry, gypsy, maggie and gina.

so the last two days i have been feeling pretty good, with almost no nausea. today i had a little and figured it was hunger. on my way home from work i was hungry again and a colleague said she was going to kfc and that sounded so tasty so i thought i would stop as well. i gobbled my meal on the drive home. i was doing fine for a while, then i got an awful stomach ache and curled up on the couch in the fetal position. my heart started racing and i felt just terrible. low and behold, i had to run to the bathroom. this was so much worse than the other day. i guess the peanut doesn't like kfc because it all came up. 4 times. i feel better, but not much. i'm going to bed with hopes of feeling better.

thirteen things that make me feel old

1. i bought some girlie magazines this week, cosmo and glamour, and i no longer can relate to the articles, fashon or verbage. and all the talk about gen y! holy cow. i didn't realize that gen x was no longer relavant in those magazines...

2. when i talk about the great music from the 80's, most of my colleagues have no idea what i'm talking about since they were BORN in the 80's.

3. same goes with movies i talk about. many of my colleagues have never seen (or heard of) such classics as the karate kid, the goonies or all the brat pack movies.

4. when shopping with a girlfriend for her daughter's birthday, i realized how awful children's games are. candyland and shoots and ladders look nothing like they did when i was growing up. now everything i s all politically correct and way too plastic.

5. i find children's programing to be awful. what happened to the smurfs, captin kangaroo, school house rock and 3-2-1 contact? at least reading rainbow is still on...

6. i would much rather spend a little extra on clothes that will last longer and wear better than buy what is super trendy or super cheap.

7. going out for coffee and having a great conversation with a friend is more appealing to me than going to a club.

8. i would rather buy a safe care than a flashy car.

9. i actually want to (and make enough to) have money in savings rather than spend everything as soon as i get it.

10. my vacations are planned out and saved for so i can get the most for my money and go somewhere different each time.

11. i realized the other day that i had graduated high school 15 years ago this june and that i really can't relate to kid's who are in high school now.

12. i would rather meet a girlfriend for brunch than go out and party all night long.

13. seeing a kid with a cell phone. i didn't have a cell phone until midway through college. now kids as little as 5 years old have actual cell phones! it's crazy! sure, parents say it's so they know where their kid is at all times. but seriously? shouldn't you know where your kid is? especially when they're that young? even through high school you should be able to know where your kid is.


hubby just left town on a business trip. he'll be gone until late friday night. i'm already sad that he's gone. though the house will be quiet and i can watch what i want on tv, i still like having him around. i did make him dinner even though i was feeling pretty crappy. and now i REALLY don't want to do the dishes. but, at least he's not here to nag me on them. heh. but i want to feel better, dammit! sigh.

i have been weaning off my antianxiety meds and i think i'm feeling the effects. but i'm not sure since i know moodiness is part of being pregnant. i'm feeling more anxious at night, especially when i'm sleeping. not only do i wake up to pee in the middle of the night now, but i also wake up feeling anxious. it hasn't been bad, but a bit annoying. i'm trying to keep mellow and relax, but i hate being anxious. and i'm not anxious over anything in particular, either. it's just this general feeling of uneasiness that creeps up on me and makes me panic.

i can now put my hair into a tiny, mini pony tale of about an inch or two. it gives me a tiny bit of satisfaction to be able to do that because as much as other people like my hair, i don't like it one bit. it make me sad to see photos of myself with long hair. this weekend i'm going to get highlights so i'm hoping that'll help. i know that some women go through an 'ugly phase' and i am definitely there right now.

well, i made it to 9 1/2 weeks without getting sick. just as i was about to leave the house this morning, that unmistakable unplesant feeling came over me and i had to rush to the toilet. sigh. hubby was in the shower at the time and opened the door as i was finishing up to say "well, i guess this means the peanut is getting bigger!" at least he can find humor in all of this.

i'm just glad there is a sink in my office here at work. i have a feeling i'll be feeling quite green for most of the day today.

i have to apologize to my dear friend, the white bear. you see, i deleted his comment this morning totally unknowingly. well, no, i knowingly deleted it, i just didn't know it was my darling friend who wrote the comment. you see, he wrote about all the great people who have birthdays on august 18. not knowing why that had appeared on my blog, i thought it was spam. i'm a total tweeker because i couldn't figure out why someone was commenting about that date. um, hello. because i said it was my due date. he was being sweet and telling me what great people were also born on that day. sigh. i'm such a tweeker and so hearfully sorry i offened him by deleting the post.

1. Do you wear a name tag at work? i am supposed to, but i never do.
2. What kind of car do you drive? hubby's 2003 chevy trail blazer
3. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell? mexican pizza and a bean and cheese burrito
4. Have you ever had a garage sale? of course!
5. What color is your iPod? black
6. What kind of dog do you have? none, but I have two adorable cats
7. What's for dinner tonight? i have no idea. Oh wait! it's date night! we're going out!
8. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? i would guess wine...i was in a blackout at the time...
9. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? probablly called or texted someone i shouldn't have.
10. Last time you were sick? does morning sickness count? because then i'm sick now.
11. How long is your hair? really,really short.
12. Are you happy right now? yes. i actually am. especially since it's friday! whoot!
13. What did you say last? "yeah, they have one tracked minds. the don't look farther than the task at hand."
14. Who came over last? a gal i just met in aa.
15. Do you drink beer? non alcoholic beer.
16. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? well, i am i have no idea if i have brothers and sisters!
17. What is your favorite key chain on your keys? i don't have any keychains on my keys.
18. What did you get for graduation? a sterling silver cross pen and pencil set with my name engraved on it when i graduated from high school and nothing when i graduated from college.
19. What's in your pocket? lint.
20. Who introduced you to Dane Cook? the movie 'waiting'
21. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? no
22. What DVD is in your DVD player? it's empty right now
23. What's something fun you did today? i'm at work so i haven't done anything fun yet.
24. Who is/was the principal of your high school? holy cow. i have no idea.
25. Has your house ever been TP'd? my house growing up was
26. What do you think of when you hear the word "meow"? my kitties
27. What are you listening to right now? my space heater and a classic rock station
28. Drinking? water.
29. What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart? none. i don't like wal-mart.
30. When is your mom's birthday? march 21
31. When is your birthday? september 17
32. What's the area code for your cell phone? the one for my town
33. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? anthropologie
34. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? nope
35. How many states in the US have you been to? i have no idea. maybe 20.
36. What kind of milk do you drink? whole
37. What are you going to do after this? get a snack and go pee. again.
38. Who was the last person you went shopping with? hubby
39. What is your favorite fruit? peaches and pears
40. What about your favorite dessert? pastry
41. What is something you need to go shopping for? food
42. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives? no
43. What kind of car does one of your siblings drive? i don't have any
44. Do you like pickles? yum. especially the ones we make from our garden.
45. How about olives? yum on those too
46. What is your favorite kind of gum? anything spearamint
47. What is your favorite kind of juice? right now i like cranberry-peach
48. Do you have any tan lines? no. it's the middle of january!
49. What hospital were you born in? st. anne's in downtown los angeles

Yes, folks. This was in the local paper today...

Mullet man surrenders shoplifted salami
Posted: Thursday, January 10, 2008 6:08 PM PST

Dispatched to Lucky supermarket around 11:30 a.m. on Sunday, Dec. 30, following a shoplifting report, XX police learned that a white male, about 50 years old with brown hair in a mullet cut, had been confronted by the store manager in the parking lot.The manager accused the man of failing to pay for a salami when he went through the self-checkout line and paid only for a bag of chips.The manager later told police he argued back and forth with the man for several moments, spurred by suspicions from the man's earlier visits to the store when his behavior aroused attention.After a heated dispute, the man pulled the salami out of his bag, gave it to the manager, and then got into a car, described by the manager as a gray Suzuki Swift, and headed northbound on Highway XX toward McDonald's. Police are now looking for a man in a mullet driving a Swift, a somewhat unusual combination of coiffure and car that could make identifying the would-be salami thief a little easier.

Seriously. You can't make this shit up!

i swear, i have been so zapped of energy these days. at least i know why, now, though! i went to the doc on tuesday and found out that i am 8 weeks along and that i am due on august 18. i had my first ultrasound and saw my little peanut growing. to see the heartbeat was amazing. i still can't believe this is happening. hubby is way excited, which is great.

we went over our finances on sunday to see how we can manage on just his salary. we have no idea yet how long i will take off work. on one hand, we would be okay on his salary, being thrify and all, but on the other, his folks are so close by they could be day care for us. BUT having is mom take care of the little one on a daily basis scares me to bits.

i used to resent sahm's, but that's because i knew a few that were just awful. sure, they would be at home with the kid(s) all day, but they didn't do anything around the house. they didn't clean, cook or do laundry. they didn't even make dinner for their husband's who worked all day. i mean, if you're going to stay at home and take care of the kid(s) the least you can do is stuff around the house as well. and yes, i understand taking care of a little one is challenging, but seriously. you can do other stuff, too.

i also have a friend who is rather well off due to her husband making a ton of money. she has all the hired help you can imagine, yet still has the audacity to complain how hard motherhood is and how she is tired all the time. why she is always tired beats me as everyone else does the work for her.

i have no idea what will happen for us. i don't know that i could stay home full time. i think i might go a little batty without adult interatction. or am i just getting a little too far ahead of myself now? : )


first of all, you all are so kind. thank you all for your kind responses.

it's been quite the week, let me tell you! i found out on monday ~ new year's eve ~ that i was expecting. i had been feeling crummy for a while and decided to take a test ~ at work no less. i didn't believe it at first, but then all the signs were there, so i had to believe. i wasn't going to tell hubby until i got home that day, but he ended up calling me in the afternoon so i told him. there was silence for quite a while on the other end of the line, but he was excited. never once has he muttered a harsh or unkind word, which has been wonderful.

i scheduled an appointment with my gp/obgyn for friday where i got the professional confirmation. she then had me make an appointment with the ob, with whom i will meet with tomorrow afternoon. right now we're guestimating that i am about 6-8 weeks along, thus in the middle of morning sickness, which i do not like one bit. i am pretty much nauseous all the time. it sucks. i haven't gotten sick, but being nauseous for the past few weeks hasn't been much fun, either.

we told our folks after the dr appointment on friday. his mom started crying and his dad said they had given up on us long ago. nice. we've only been married a little over 4 years. and it's not like we're 45 and starting a family. my mother was more excited than i have ever heard. she has never been proud of me before, so this was unusual.

hubby has been quite supportive, even getting me strawberry milkshakes anytime i desire one ~ which is a lot. normally he would never go out of his way to stop, now he does it all the time. it's very sweet and i know i need to milk it for all it's worth!

i no longer drink coffee because i cannot stand the smell! i used to drink a pot a this has been a big change for me. i am now finding new things to eat, which will definitely help me eat healthy for the long run. being at work is hard as the cafeteria here isn't very 'pregnacy friendly' with food. i've been eating a lot of peanut butter and jelly on toast.

my chest has already grown and is so painful. i am busting out of my 'c' cup, so i need to buy a bigger bra soon. i've been sleeping in my bra to give my chest a little extra support when i sleep. needless to say, hubby is quite pleased with the increase in my chest. heh.

nausea day and night for the past few weeks, with no relief in sight
a decreased amount of energy, regardless of how long i sleep or how many naps i take
supremely tender breasts
a heightened sense of smell
the desire for coffee completely gone, the smell of which even turns my stomach
and an increase in the amount of times i have to pee each day
all comes down to one thing. one crazy, happy, scary, unbelievable thing.

i'm pregnant.

this is fierce!

the rain is coming down sideways and the wind is gusting at about 40 miles an hour. nice. i'm so not driving to work after my appointment today. hubby called a little while ago and said he didn't go over 40 mph his whole way to work and there was standing water everywhere, which will be a lot worse by the time i head over (we both work in the same area, though my commute is 25 minutes longer).

my wind chime i've had since college was broken last night and that makes me sad. the top part that is still connected to the front porch is still blowing fiercely in the wind, twisting and turning like mad. i have no idea where the metal chimes have gone.

my front yard is totally flooded and i'm expecting the power to go out at any time. normally i like storms, but this one is totally freaking me out.

i have to work on our house finances today but i'm totally lagging on doing that. i'm catching up on the hills right now instead. ha.

our big winter storm is here, pouring buckets and buckets of rain. we're expected to get 5 inches of rain in the next few days and the mountains are to get around 10 feet of fresh snow. there is a high wind warning in effect for the next few days as well, as it's supposed to reach 50 miles an hour in some places. we desperately need the rain, so this this storm will be good. and i love a good storm. i just wish i wasn't at work...but i'll make the best of it, tucked away in my office without any windows. i can hear the rain pounding away outside, which i like. i won't open the door since it's so cold outside, though.

i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow so my boss told me to check the weather reports before i come in as it may be too bad of a drive. is it bad that i'm secretly hoping not to have to drive in? my appointment is at 11:15a, so i won't be able to come in first as it would be silly to drive 45 minutes and work for 2 hours to just turn around and drive 45 minutes back, have my appointment then drive back again. so i figure i'll just go in late and stay a little late. but we'll see how it all pans out. as much as i like the rain and storms, i don't like driving in them at all.

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