Meet our newest family member ~ Finnegan. We call him Fin, for short. C has been wanting another kitty for a while now and while we were out and about today, we went to Petco for some fishfood.
One of the local cat adoption places was set up, adopting cats. We fauned over the darlings for close to a half an hour. We wanted to get a kitty that looked different than Atticus and we found a cute little black cat. Yount, as he was named, crawled up and snuggled right under my chin. It was adorable. But, we left without him.
Much to my surprise, on our way home, C suggested we stop at another adoption place in town, the one where we adopted Atticus from. We first went into the room of cats, then the room of kittens and didn't fall in love with any of them. There were several that I liked, but we couldn't agree on any. One of the gals who worked there suggested visiting a local store where a few kitties who look like Atty were being adopted. C said he didn't want another tabby, so we headed home.
Since we had been out all day, I was looking forward to a nap. But after about a half an hour at home, C decided he wanted to see the kitties at the other shop, so we headed out again.
Well, low and behold, we fell in love pretty much instantly with a medium haired tabbed named McCoy. Within 30 minutes, he was ours and we were on our way home. I was SO surprised how everything turned out today. We changed his name to Finnegan right away and headed home, with a brief detour to Granny's first to show Fin off. She loved him, of course.
Atticus, was a different story. He was SO freaked out. I felt really bad for him. I've never seen him so freaked out before and he was in full attack mode ~ super fluffed tail and all. He had no idea what was going on with the new little fluff ball in the house. The fluff ball, who is more comfortable in our house than Atticus is, is surely making Atty a little nervous.
But, after about 3 1/2 hours of play time, they kitties have finally stared to relax. Fin has found the litter box and has done his business, twice. Yay!
Atticus has just jumped in my lap for the first time since we brought Fin home and is slowly starting to purr again.
It seems as though Fin will be a good fit. We are hopeful that he will bring Atticus out of his scardy cat shell and into the real lovie that's inside of him.
i am going fricken stir crazy! won't someone come out and play!?
e.t.a: i am in serious need of girl time. luckily, one of my girlfriends just called and she works as a waitress so i'm going to see her for breakfast on thursday. but i still need more girl time. i SO wish my other girlfriends lived closer. i need to plan something. sally? jacarandabush? flowergirl? amber? wendy?
meanwhile, my parents were having beef roladen, spatzle, home made rolls, red cabbage and celery root salad. my mouth is watering just thinking of that...
we stayed for a few hours then went back to our mini house were we exchanged gifts. that part was fun. atticus made out like a little bandit, getting all kind of kitty toys. chris liked all his clothes, his weather clock and various other things. he got me some fun little things, like socks and tank tops from banana and a french press from starbucks. oh and a beautiful ring. it's so simple and elegant. the ring itself is 14k white gold and has a strip of 10 little diamonds around the middle. i love it. it fits perfectly on my right hand ring finger ~ he even had it sized appropriately. i had no idea! and he bought it over a month and a half ago. points for him, especially since it wasn't something i had pointed out or asked for. very well done, indeed.
i got a very cool digital photo frame delio from one of my favorite girlfriends that i'm very much looking forward to setting it up. another favorite girlfriend sent me some cool scrapbook stuff and a gret book about girlie friendship. flowergirl and i also exchanged gifts the other day and that was great fun as well. she gave me some fresh baked pastry and peets holiday coffee, all of which is gone into my tummy. mmmmm.
later we went to midnight mass, which as nice. we sat with c's folks and one of our friends. the service was nice and didn't go as slowly as i thought it would. i got into bed around 2:30 am but of course, couldn't fall asleep right away.
christmas day we slept in until 10 am, which felt great. we were due back at the in-law's at 11 am so we had to get moving. brunch was set out in the kitchen, which was a lot better than the dinner offerings the night before. the best gift we got was a cuisinart popcorn maker from granny. she also gave me a pretty pearl necklace and a little spending money. c and his brother got hooked up as usual, but i felt a bit slighted. i know i know ~ i have complained about his mom overdoing things, but it was apparent to me that she was no longer interested in spending money on me. the only gifts i really got from his folks were joint gifts, like a chair massager and blanket. there were random things for me in my stocking, like more socks and a bird clock, but nothing like the past few years. i think she's more interested in c's brother's girlfriend, but that's fine.
she gave us all breast cancer stamps again this year. this annoys the hell out of me. she had a 'scare' with breast cancer several years ago ~ when i first started dating c ~ and she acts like she had full blown cancer. i know cancer is very serious, don't get me wrong. but good lord. she acts like such a fucking victim over it! she had a tiny non cancerous spot removed from her breast and she won't let it go that she had cancer! granny had cancer and you never, ever hear a peep from her. hell, most of the women i know that have had cancer don't say anything. they don't feel sorry for themselves, they don't act like victims, they just keep living their lives. it just angers me so much that she acts like that. she didn't fucking have breast cancer!
we left a little after 2, and none to early for me. aside from not really wanting to hang out with c's family any longer, i was dying from the crimson wave. it was the worst i have ever felt. in fact, i was in dire need of changing um...something that had only been in for 3 hours. that's all i'll say about that. i was in a lot of pain ~ pain that i had never really experienced before. i've had friends that have had miserable cramps, but i never had them that bad. until yesterday. i went to lie down as soon as we got home and stayed in bed until 9:30 am this morning. i even missed c's brother and girlfriend coming over to watch a new dvd. thankfully, i'm much better today.
i had been off the pill for a few months and after a long discussion with myself, have decided to go back on it. that will help the crimson wave a lot as well as my mental well being. for some reason, i thought i should let fate decide if it was time for an addition to my life. after 4 months of tempting fate, i have decided to step in and take control. i am in no means ready for any change of that sort and am doing just fine with my crazy cat and with c ~ especially since the cat still sporatically craps on the floor and c is still sporatically a jerk.
it's storming out and is very fitting to my mood right now. i'm in a very meloncholy mood today and am not sure why. i would love to hang out with a girlfriend, but i really don't want to leave the house in this weather. maybe i'll just curl up with the cat and watch one of our many new dvds.
okay, so i'm really trying not to be a bitterman about christmas. it's been a very good day so i'd say i'm doing well on that front.
i did get up early, mostly because i didn't sleep very well, and also because c is so friggen loud when he gets up. i stayed in bed a long time reading and drinking coffee, which was good. atticus snuggled with me, which was great ~ even though he had pooped on the floor ~ i didn't have the heart to throw him in the garage as punishment.
i chatted on line for a while with my friend, uptrodden, then headed to the gym for another rock star workout. i felt so good after my workout!
so good, that i treated myself to mc d's when i was done. mmmm. tastes so good when it hits the lips. c hates mc d's so i always go when he's not around. and today, i ran into a bunch of people ~ including the ups guy ~ that i knew there.
and speaking of the ups guy, i have been seeing him so much lately! it's funny. when i was out for coffee with a girlfriend the other day at starbucks, i ran into the ups guy again and she couldn't believe how many people i know in town ~ and she grew up here. what can i say....i've got personality. heh heh.
anywho, after my delicious lunch, i had some sky rockets in flight...afternoon delight....mmm. wot!?
later i started working on c's christmas gift to his dad and bro. yes, i'm making their gift. he got together a bunch of photos of his family hunting from years ago and some current ones and i had to put them all together in a frame delio with some creative artwork of my own creation. i worked on it for 2 hours and only gone one finished. it looks great, though. i actually started on the photo part earlier in the week...but still it's a big project. luckily that's all i have left for christmas.
c came home around 6 pm and we went to a meeting and picked up a pizza for dinner. he's watching the sopranos and i'm futzing around in the office. we watched 3 hours of the sopranos last night, so i'm a bit burnt on the mafia right now. bada bing, bada bang.
i'm also a retard, yet again, with the house finances. i had to ask flowergirl if she could hold the check i sent her so i could figure things out. i'm so lame! i hate having to do that and i owe her big time. thankfully she's a good friend and very understanding of my retard ways. yaaaaaaaaay.
c is getting up at the ass-crack of dawn to go hunting so i'm going to get some good sleep in time. i might actually do some writing tomorrow. but we'll see. i might also think of a plan so that i can flee like a rat from christmas if it gets to be too much...
but right now, my little dog will is sleeping along side atty. you know, will. will-to-live. yeah, he's back. :)
since christmas is upon us, i have finally posted some photos of the mini decorations around the house. the photo doesn't really do the garland justice, but i made it all myself and i think it came out pretty well ~ thanks to flowergirl for showing me the way of festive decorating! and surprisingly, atticus hasn't destroyed the tree, or even taken much interest in it.
we're spending christmas with c's family and i'm not really looking all that forward to it. they are such an odd family. there's no warmth or love. well, if there is any, it's all hidden under unhappiness, resentment and judgement. it's just an uncomfortable environment. everything is so cold in his parent's house ~ and sadly, it's a combination of cold temprature and cold feelings. everthing feels so sterile there. everyone is so stuffy. and it's only immediate family that will be there. and there's always a seating chart and i NEVER get to sit next to c at dinner! it's retarded. and we have to go for both christmas eve and christmas day. and gift time is so strange. his mother totally tries to buy love. i mean, she goes nuts with gifts. don't get me wrong, i love to recieve, but it's a bit out of control.
i'm really trying not to be a bitterman....
while shopping for my girls this holiday season, i have stumbled upon THE BEST new lip gloss. ever. i simply adore the whole philosophy line of products ~ ever since my maid of honor gave me the bride gift set for my wedding shower several years ago ~ and i have to say these tasty lip glosses are just sooo delish. i had to keep one for myself and can't stop putting it on!
i just tried taking pictures of my mini living room with the mini christmas tree, but just as i was pressing the 'cheese' button, my camera died ~the batteries went dead. so you'll have to wait until i get new batteries. i should have everything posted by tonight.
most of my gifts are wrapped and i'm going to the post this morning to send my girlfriend her gift. i put all the cards in the mail over the weekend, so that's done as well.
all i really have left is to work on a photo collage for c's brother and dad and get his mom a gift. c came up with a great idea to get a bunch of photos of the boys in his family hunting and put them together in a frame, but guess who gets to do all the work...yep, me. but, it's something that i really enjoy doing, so that's all right.
i think i'm going to get his mom some classes at the culinary school here. well, it's more of a place where well known chefs in the area teach classes. it's something she's talked about doing but never has done.
oh, and my dad. i have NO idea what to get him. i already gave my mom her gift ~ she went to puerto rica this summer and talked about this tiny frog that she kept seeing and loved, so i knew i had to get her one of these darling little frogs. well, i better get hopping and get my errands done!
i'm in such a bizarre mood right now. part meloncoloy, part something else that i can't quite define. i had a good day. hung out with friends for breakfast, ran errands and cleaned the hell out of the house while waiting for the electricity to come back on ~ 45 minutes later than predicted.
no one has been online to chat with, so that's been sad. and by chatting online, i mean with people who are actually my friends, people who i see and talk to. people who actually know me and not just the cyber me. although it would be fun to chat with a few folks i have met thru blogging, like kate, october, dillydilly, gypsy...but somehow, it's nice just to read their posts and post my own thots on their sites.
i'm in such a strange place in my life right now. with leaving my job, a lot has changed in me. while i'm proud of myself for leaving that wretched place, i feelas though i've lost a bit of purpose. maybe that's because i don't have much support. sure, my fantastic friends support me, but none of my family does. and neither does c.
speaking of c, he has been so damn crabby and grumpy as of late, that today i stumbled upon some baby bubble bath called 'california baby...overtired and crabby' ~ so i bought it for c. HA. it even has a bubble wand in the bottle to blow bubbles with. if that doesn't make his smile, then he's just pure evil.
is it wrong that i want some hot latin guy to walk up to me, say 'como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa'...then do with me as he pleases? wot?!?!
i told you i was in a mood!
|You're a Free Love Kisser|
Of all the kissing types, you've racked up the most experience. Kissing is no big deal to you - you'll kiss anyone you find hot!It's easy for you to take the plunge and make the first move.And you don't really consider kissing to be cheating!
...everyone has one, and to me, it's always changing depending where i am in life.
right now, my theme song is
'my hips don't lie' by shakira.
one of my girlfriend's theme song is 'my humps' by the black eyed peas.
what's your song?
eta....another friend responded...his song is 'simple man' by lynyrd skynyrd.
one of my girlfriends sent me a christmas card with a few photos from her wedding this spring. holy cow, i had a pudgy face then! i really didn't realize how much weight i actually had gained until i saw myself in photographs. i remember looking at a photograph from last summer when i was at a different girlfriend's bachelorette party in vegas....holy crap did i look awful in a bathing suit!!
in the last year of drinking, i went from 96 lbs to 125 lbs. that's a 30lb weight gain. being 5 feet tall, that was a huge difference. i went from a size 0 to a size 4. i even went to a size 6 bathing suit. i had a bunch of great designer jeans that i could no longer fit in and a whole bunch of other clothes that didn't fit right anymore either. i now weigh 110 and feel great. i want to stay at that weight. i think it looks good on me. i have a great figure now. the only part that i enjoyed gaining weight was in my boobs. ;)
and now i fit into those jeans again! i tried them all on yesterday and was so excited. only one pair doesn't fit at all and another pair is pretty tight, but i do have 5 pairs i can wear again. feels like i went shopping all over again ~ except this time i didn't spend any money.
and today when i was at the gym, i fit into my size 4 bathing suit without any problems at all. yipee!
the electric company (hey you guys!!!) was working on my street all day so i didn't have electricity until about 10 minutes ago. that sucked big time. the same thing will happen tomorrow. i totally take electricity for granted. i couldn't do anything at home today. the only thing i could do was turn on the heater since it's propane. so, i met a girlfriend for coffee, then we went to lunch. later i had a phone interview ~ which i think went pretty well ~ and went to the gym. now i'm home. i had to sit in the dark for about 10 minutes when the power finally came back on. now i can take care of the rest of the laundry. hopefully everything in the fridge and freeze made it. it's been chilly out so hopefully everything will be just fine.
the worst part of being without electricity was that i wasn't able to make coffee at home. that was hands down the worst part!!
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
day two of being unemployed and i feel great. in fact, i don't remember the last time i was so happy and laughed so much.
i met a friend for breakfast this morning and we stayed for about 2 hours just chatting it up. two other friends were working so we got the mad hook ups. later i went to the gym and worked out hard for an hour and a half. i know my legs will be like rubber tomorrow. i ran some errands and paid bills. i straightened up the house and did laundry. all in all it was a very productive day.
tomorrow and thursday, the electrical company will be working on my street so i will be out of power from 8 am - 5 pm both days. that is going to suck big time. i have no idea what i'm going to do! i can't even make myself coffee at home. thank god there's at least a starbucks here in town. i have a feeling i will be hanging out there for quite a bit tomorrow. at least it's in the same shopping center as my gym....
i also have a phone interview tomorrow at 2:30 pm. the only bummer is that i have to take the call on my cell rather than on a land line since the electricity will be out. but, i know things could be worse. like i could still be working at my old job! HA
today was the first day without a job. and you know, i didn't miss it one bit. i had a ton of errands to do so i ran around all day. i had to go to the gym to reinstate my membership, as i got a deal thru my work, and it had already been cancelled. while i was there, i ran into one of my favorite girlfriends so we had lunch and caught up with things. it was great. i then ran around, trying to avoid the rain as best i could since i had left my umbrella at home.
i got some good news in my inbox this afternoon...one of the places where i interviewed last week asked for a second interview this week. yipee! so, i have a second interview this wednedsday afternoon. yay, me!
i also got a text message from a guy i worked with this morning telling me that he liked me and wanted to 'get close to me'. wtf? um...no. sorry. he's not getting a damn thing from me. he never has and he never will. despite that fact that he has a girlfriend with a butter face. you know, she has a great body, but her face....and he's told me numerous times that he wants to break up with her and all about his numerous crushes on women we worked with...i have absolutely NO desire to do anything with him, ever. so needless to say, i won't be going to coffee with him anymore! he's so swarmy. eewww.
now i'll just have to think of the delicious nibblets that i know ....mmmm.... that's better!
today was my last day at work. it started out fine and dandy, i took some photos with a few of my favorite colleagues and had eggs benedict for breakfast. but then, things took a turn for the...um...wet. yes, folks, i got thrown in the pool. with my nice work clothes on. luckily, the pool is heated and the rain had stopped for a bit. and since i was suspecting this might happen, i brought a change of clothes. thank god i did, since it was sooo cold once i got out of the pool!
tomorrow is my last day at my job. it was supposed to be next sunday, but as of thursday, the great executive folks that work here, decided that they no longer want the restaurant to be open before dinner. so, that means my whole staff had a 3 day notice before they lost their jobs. nice. oh, but the execs still want to be open on saturday and sunday. hmmm. how is that going to work? my whole staff is upset, and rightfully so. that pretty much leaves 10 people out of jobs. no one is going to want to work only 2 weekend days. it's not worth it.
i asked what would have happened to me, had i not given notice a few weeks ago, and they said they would have found another place for me at the hotel. that is such bull, as there is no other place at the hotel. the whole hotel is downsizing.
but, at least i get to collect unemployment, right? because they let me go before my resignation date? at least i think that's what will happen. it's all just a big mess, if you ask me.
on another note, i had to speak at an aa meeting last night. share my story and tell them all about me. surprisingly, i wasn't really all that nervous and felt that i did really well. i had to speak for 20 minutes about what happened and what it's like for me now. it felt really good, actually, to get it all out. plus, i spoke in a very general way so it really wasn't that bad at all. it was a good release, actually.
well, now i'll have time to figure out my life a bit...
I stole this meme about being BOLD from Sally...everything I have done is in BOLD. I sure feel like I haven't done that much....but, then again, there is a lot that I have done that is not listed...won't you play too?
1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said “I love you” and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had/Have amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the snake river
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in a Rocky Horror Picture Show
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pisto
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read “The Iliad”
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
one of my friends told me i'm amazing today. it was the sweetest thing and totally filled my heart. he said some other really kind things and it's so nice to hear. this is why i love my friends so much. and damn it. i am amazing. i am way cool and have fantastic taste in music. and i have gotten way better looking. maybe because i have finally figured out how to dress, wear make up and do my hair. i swear...since i moved here, things have changed dramatically for me.
maybe it's because i'm finally paying attention to me and what i want.... like a hot, built, dark..er..wot?!
it is especially nice to hear kind words from my friends when c calls me his 'fucking wife'. and keeps complaining how he works 2 jobs (his regular job and his teaching job) and that i only have one 'half ass' job. it's soo infuriating.
but i'm so glad i have special friends. and by special, i mean the kind that ride the short bus....
i'm crazy. i know it. i'm going to get up at the ass-crack of dawn to go the flowermarket with flowergirl. i have to be at her house at 4 am, which means i have to leave my house by 3:30 am. we're driving to the City. it should be great, though. since she's a florist she gets the wholesale price and gets in before the regular people get to go.
work was uneventful, except for the part where the morning crew keeps saying they are going to throw me in the pool on my last day. and since i'm so small, i don't doubt that they will. i just better remember not to wear a white shirt that day!!! and since they have a history of throwing people in for various things, i'm pretty sure it'll happen. thankfully the pool is heated... :)
c and i are going to a magazine launch party this thursday at the hotel. it should be fun and i'm looking forward to dressing up. i don't know the last time i dressed up. i think i'm going to wear one of my black cocktail dresses and some strappy heals. i better get a sassy pedicure!
i haven't gone to a launch since he worked at an ad agency in the City. we used to go all the time. that was so great. i miss doing that sort of thing. well, i better make dinner.
i got into yet another discussion with c about saving and finances. how i'm too impulsive. how i live for the moment, not for the future. well, if you don't live in the now, what are you living for? i understand the need to live for the future, to save for it, to do all that, but what about now? you can't just live, with the only the care about what is going to happen another day.
hell, i didn't drink today and i live for that. each day is a new day. i can't say, well, maybe i won't drink next week, so if i drink tomorrow, it won't be a big deal. wrong. i can't do that.
i did some crazy, happy things today, and i don't regret any of them. having regrets takes too much energy.
i went to the grocery store this evening and ran into one of the first girls i met when i was in college over 11 years ago. she now lives here with her husband and i ran into her at safeway. she knew me several boyfriends ago when we both partied a lot. i used to swing dance with one of her boyfriends. then i ran into a colleague, one of c's old colleagues and someone i know from aa.
but, it felt really good to know all those people. it made me smile. a lot.
c got on to me about leaving my job. he's dissapointed in me, says i'm not tough and should have stuck it out. he has no idea what i put up with there. how shitty working there is. how i put my ass on the line everyday for my staff and people crap on me constantly. and i only have 2 good people working for me and my boss wants to steal one of them for the night time and just leave me with one good server. (he wants to take the buser). grrr. whatever. i'm strong. i'm tough. i'm little and i'm sassy. don't fuck with me.
blogger is acting goofy so i will have to go back and edit this later. it's not giving me an options with font, graphics or color, and is making me feel bland. and right now i definitely do not feel bland.
today was a goofy day. i did not want to get up, which is normal, but my car was parked in a different spot ~ c parked in my normal spot last night ~ so that threw me off and the ground was frozen solid. it was so friggen cold when i ran out to start my car, i could have cut glass.
i finally got off to work, arriving only 30 minutes late today. hey, with the whole 5 minutes of tasks i actually have before we open, i was able to get everything done. one of my busers overslept, so i had to wake his lazy ass, but it's not like he really does anything. everyone complains about him and he drives me friggen nuts. he thinks he's so great and suave, but he's so swarmy. and he thinks he's the funniest guy, but nothing he says ever makes sense.
then one of my servers had about 10 mini freakouts today. and by freakouts i mean she cries, stomps off....it's such drama..and she's 54! so pathetic. her freakouts make everyone uncomfortable. no one wants to deal with her, so they just let her freakout, which is just wrong.
i have one good server and one good busser. if only i could duplicate them. i often try to schedule them off on days that i have off so i will always get to work with them. is that wrong? but, at least i only have 14 days left...oh, but who is counting?!
most of my day was uneventful, but i was in a silly mood. i had crossed the line with inapropriate comments right at the start of the day and it all went down hill from there. luckily, those i made comments to didn't mind them and actually bantered back.
i just wrote thank you notes for the two interviews i went on last week. i really, really, really want the job i interveiwed for yesterday. keep your fingers crossed, please!
looking outside my window right now i see that the moon is full. perhaps this is why today was so crazy. and by crazy, i mean crazy in a good way...
it's amazing how much better i feel about things, not that i have given my notice. i have been smiling a lot lately. and singing. and dancing in front of the mirror. and laughing. it's great. work has still been evil, but i'm able to laugh at it more now, since i will be leaving soon. in 15 days. but whose counting? :)
on another note...i had two GREAT interviews this week. i really, really want the job i just got back from. they told me they hope to finish up the interviews by the end of this week, make on offer and have everything wrapped up by the 11th. the other job said they would get back to me soon. i have good references and a solid resume and i think i nailed both interviews...so keep your fingers crossed!!!
i have been dealing with a bad migraine all day so i'm going to lay down for a while...
it's already 31 degrees outside and it's only 10 pm. it's supposed to be in the low 20's overnight.
two of my girlfriends have pj's that have feet, like the kind we wore when we were little and i'm SO jealous!
in a strange turn of events, i think i talked to all my peeps from my past life except for the white bear today. oh, and my one girlfriend who has a crazy busy press job...but other than that, i talked to 6 of my peeps from the last place i called home. all at random times today, and either over email or text message on my cell phone. it was quite nice, i must say. two of them don't live there anymore ~ one lives in sf and the other in la, but they were all there when i was. and two new people that i know now used to work in the very building that i was in. so wierd. i also texted with them tonight. i am feeling a lot of love right now from my peeps. i'm having good memories of the last place. i am playing the garden state soundtrack, which gives me fond memories of that time. it even makes me remember times i had long since forgotten.
on another note, i have to say that i have gotten so much friggen love today from the cute boys that i know. i know i'm a flirt, but not dangerously so. i only flirt with those that can take it and know i'm not serious. it's just nice to get messages or greetings from boys who think i'm beautiful because i never hear that kind of stuff at home. you always seek what you don't get at home, i guess.
kindness goes so far with me. so sadly, i think that is something that is so easily forgotten. especially by c.
holy cow! another old friend just im'd me....i have to go! this is great!!!
why is it that i only look good on paper? my resume is just dandy, but i feel like such a freaking failure. every job that i have had has been crummy. sure, i have a lot of experience, but it's all entry level. i can't ever seem to get above that. sure, i'm a supervisor right now, but working in hospitality is totally different. besides, i'm getting paid less than i have at any other job before this. i have been told that i need to have my resignation letter in tomorrow. c has called me a failure and has been berating me the last few days. i'm so tired of this. i'm not playing the victim like he says i am. i've just had some crummy jobs. well, crummy bosses, anyhow. but, that's what i get for being only entry level. he's never been entry level. he's smarter than that and has always done well in everything he has done. i never have. it's true that i don't have that much gumption or discipline. hell, i can't even make it to the gym with any regularity. but still. it would be nice to have someone on my side. i just am so friggen miserable. i just want to curl up in a ball and cry. i have no pleasure in my life anymore, and that makes me sad. and by pleasure, i mean of any kind ~ mental, physical, sexual. i just feel so worthless. no matter what i do for others, it just seems wrong. but what about for me? why is it that i have to work for others? don't my feelings matter, too? i fully supported c when he made his decision to resign from his job. why won't he support mine? it's not like i'm making big money or anything. hell, most of my paycheck goes into savings. i just wish i had some support from someone. even my parent's don't support me. but hell, they never have supported me emotionally.
so i did it. sort of. just before i left work for the day ~yes, i had to work today~ my boss asked to talk to me. i knew something was up, as he never just asks to talk to me. anyhow, turns out someone had told him that i am planning on leaving. that someone has to be cankles. (i'll explan more about her in a few minutes). anyhow, we had a pleasant enough conversation and i ended up saying that i would like to leave before christmas. i wasn't really ready to do that, but i was in a bit of a pickle with him bringing it up and all, so it was clear what i had to do. anyhow, a sense of relief has washed over me. i guess things do have a way of working out. c accepted a new job on monday that he will start next week, our home computer is working, and i have found several jobs to apply to. i'm going to work on a formal resignation letter and present it to my boss on monday.
cankles, on the other hand, is on my last nerve. she is the night time supervisor and is called cankles for very obvious reasons. not only does she have awful fashion sense ~ you know it's bad when pretty much everyone comments on it ~ but she wears these god awful nuddie nylons that are really thick and suntan colored. she also wears old granny skirts and flat shoes. she rarely matches her top with her bottom and she always pulls her hair back into a pony tail. i was actually pretty surprised to hear the others comment on her constant state of disaray. i mean, i always noticed, but never knew how much others noticed. sadly, she's only about 28 and thinks she's totally in fashion. she thinks she is so ralph lauren. are you kidding me? just because one always wears the same ralph lauren sweater, does not one ralph lauren make.
anyhow, i digress. she has the loosest lips of anyone i know. she has no idea when to keep her mouth shut. she has thrown me under the bus to my boss several times already and today is the final straw. i'm better than that, as i had no comments to make back to him regarding all the things she has told me and how much she doesn't like him. that's just not my style.
so anyhow, i best be getting a new job soon. like tomorrow. but, at least i won't have to work on christmas. and that i am thankful for.
people who steal other people's identity suck. big time. i am a victim, yet again. i am very bitter right now, especially, since i had my bank put an identity theft alert on my account a few months ago when my account was first used by some asshole. today, the same asshole used my account again. this is why i hate people. okay, i don't hate all people. just most people.
other than that, my day was fine. my parents have been in town since monday and it's been nice. they are not staying with us, as our house is too minny, so they go back to the hotel at just the right time each evening.
i hate the fact that i have to work tomorrow. i think i am going to hand in my resignation soon. i don't know the last time c and i have spent a whole day together ~ definitly before i started this new job. and working on holidays? no thanks. and not having consistent days off? um...yeah, i'll pass. and some friends are going out tonight, but i can't go because i have to work so early in the morning. this sucks.
i swear, i'm trying not to be bitter. especially since it's the holiday season and i so can't get into it. i have started christmas shopping, though. i'm done with c, atticus and my mom. i have no idea what to get his mom. or my friend, j. i started with c's dad. i don't know what to get my dad. i need to get a few little treats for a few friends. don't know where to start with that. i have my holiday cards. and cute holiday address labels. i ordered some new wrapping paper and have some decorations. flowergirl is going to make me a wreath. so, i'm half way there. i just need to get in the spirit. i'm trying, but i think i need to get out of my work situation before i'll be truly happy. i am really, really excited that i have a fly new computer with super fast internet at home, though.
my home computer is fixed!!!! yay! sweet relief. stay tuned for pictures.....
so this morning i found out that ever time either the night time supervisor or my boss would email me, about all the things i'm doing wrong, they would bcc the other managers in the hotel as well. wtf is that? words cannot even describe what i am feeling right now.
blogger is pissing me off. okay, maybe not so much blogger, but the computer that i am on. i should never have gotten so pissy with my laptop because now i have nothing to work on at home. and i can't post anything but my words, either, which is annoying in and of itself. especially since i have a new fly-ass camera.
it is so friggen cold here right now. i want the nice weather back. just some sun would be nice. i hate when it's overcast and cloudy. this morning when i left for work it was so foggy out i could barely see 5 feet in front of my car the whole way.
my parents arrive tomorrow and i already had a frustrating conversation with my dad, so i'm a little anxious. he thinks that i am a weak person and should just stay home and be a housewife. nice. he's very old school in his beliefs, which has always been a bone of contention for me. he is very chauvanistic (sp?) which tends to get under my skin quite quickly. thankfully, my anti-anxiety meds help me tremendously, so i don't get as rattled when i talk to him anymore. don't get me wrong, my dad is a good guy, he's just...well...different. he has a very different way of thinking. so does my mom. it's like they are stuck in some wierd time warp.
i'm in trouble at work, again, and i don't know why. i got an email yesterday from the evening supervisor in her broken english ~ which is especially pathetic since she is british and still can't write correctly ~ saying that she needs to go over a few things with me. and no, i'm not trying to read into things here, either. the email was pretty condecending and i know where it's headed -- right down the toilet.
i am seriously considering putting in my resignation as soon as my boss comes back from his honeymoon. every day i'm just closer and closer to doing it. thankfully he comes back soon. mental health is way more important to me than anything. well...money is pretty darn nice....but not as nice as my well being.
crap...gotta go. will write more later.
Explain what ended your last relationship. i just wasn't into him anymore, so i ended it.
When was the last time you shaved? two days ago, i think.
What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? updating buffet menus. aren't you jealous?
What were you doing 15 minutes ago? talking with the chef about our breakfast buffet.
Are you any good at math? nope, which is why i gave up the idea of being an industrial engineer
Your prom night, what do you remember about it? the limo driver had no idea where the universal hilton was. duh. universal studios. oh, and that we pulled up along side another car at a stoplight on hollywood blvd and asked the driver if they had any grey poupon, and when he said no, we said we did and handed him a jar.
Do you have any famous ancestors? not that i know of, but then again, being adopted sort of limits my knowledge on that
Have you had to take a loan out for school? yes, but it was so i could have more spending money.
How many different beverages have you had today? just one...a mocha
Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machine? totally. i hate people who hang up on mine, so i always leave a message.
Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? the moody blues in the early 80's
Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? sometimes
What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had? hmm..seeing how i was totally put out when i got my wisdom teeth pulled, i would have to say having a cavity filled. i've got a mouth full of 'em.
What is out your back door? we have two side doors instead of a back door. out one door is the side yard with the whisky tango deck ~ an astro turf covered deck with old skool deck chairs right next to the propane tank and the laundry line ~ and out the other door is the drive way and the rose garden.
Any plans for Friday night? it's date night, so we're off to the hardware store and dinner.
Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? yes, and when i'm missing the ocean, i use surf spray by bumble and bumble to get that same feelin'.
Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? ha. no, but i've bought one.
Have you ever been to a planetarium? yeah, the griffith park observatory is about 10 minutes away from where i grew up and i used to go there all the time. they had a great lazer light show to the dark side of the moon by pink floyd.
Do you re-use towels after you shower? yep
Some things you are excited about? sleeping in, my cat, getting something fun in the mail, thanksgiving, my parents coming to visit next week...
What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O? raspberry
Describe your keychain(s). it has a red and silver star, a few other random little trinkets and 5 keys
Where do you keep your change? in my wallet.
When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? a long time. since college, i think.
What kind of winter coat do you own? i have several knee length wool coats, a carhardt and some fleece jackets.
What was the weather like on your graduation day? high school ~ warm. college ~ chilly
Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? open, so the cat can get out and use the litter box
whew. what a day. i put in 11 hours today and 10 yesterday. overtime, baby. well, more than that, actually, since i get paid time and a half for anything over 8 hours a day. i came home and took a bubble bath to decompress. i'm still a bit wound up, though. maybe it's that strong cup of coffee i had right before i left...hmm...
the other day i ordered a bunch of used books from amazon dot com. they started coming yesterday. i love getting packages in the mail. today i got two packages: a book and a sweater that i had also ordered. the sweater is a baby cable knit pomegranate red cashmere and is delish. i will be wearing it tomorrow for sure.
today i was extra sassy in a flared black skirt, knee high black pointy toe boots and a crisp white button up shirt with the just the right amount of buttons unbuttoned. to top it off, i had a black and white checkered wool coat on. i got several sassy comments today, so that was a lot of fun.
i had lunch with once of my friends, who i am SO proud of. she has been working incredably hard to loose weight and told me today that she has lost a total of 38 lbs since she started. she was just glowing. she is just under 200 lbs now and has said this is the first time in almost 7 years she has been this weight. she is an inspiration to me. her secret to sucess is eating right and getting enough excercise. she totally has her splurge days, but makes up for it by eating right and working out a little more the few days after.
she is even going to get certified to teach spin classes at our gym. ha. i say 'our gym'. like i ever go. like i even remember where it is.
i went to tower records the other day and since the store in town is closing, everything was 40% off, so i got a few things. i know, i know. big surprise there. i got norah jones' new album ~ okay, last year new ~ the clash and the first karate kid movie for c. at another store i got a cool french cd that i'm listening to right now. it's one of those putumayo world music cd's and it's really good. the first son, au cafe de la paix by thomas fersen is my favorite, but they're all really good.
i also got a great card in the mail from another girlfriend. i LOVE getting cards in the mail, almost as much as i LOVE getting packages. well, no, i like getting cards better since i usually have paid to have the packages sent and the cards came to me for free. i love sending random cards so it's really great to recieve them, too. thanks, sally!
oohhh...c is home with pizza!!!
just in case i haven't stated this enough, i really hate my job. oh, you want another example? okay. so i was off the past two days and when i got in today, i had 32 random emails from work. that's a lot, especially considering i work at a freaking resturant in a hotel, and none of the emails were in regards to reservations.
anyhow, one email in particular announced a training session about tea. yes, tea. i politely declined, saying that i would have to miss the ever exciting session due to my parents being in town that day and because so, i have the day off.
now mind you, i see my parents about one a year. maybe twice. this would be one of those two times a year and they will be here next week for thanksgiving. this training session is next tuesday. this is the response back i got:
That is a shame that you will miss this 90 minute training class regarding Tea, seeing as Tea is a key part of breakfast service – please ensure as many of your team attends as possible so this opportunity is not wasted.
not only that, but it was also cc'd to my boss and the night time supervisor. all i have to say, is wtf?!
yay! i have today off. aren't you all jealous? no, probably not, because you all had a normal weekend off. i'm SO over working weekends. and holidays. i'm looking for a new job pronto. now if only i didn't trash my other computer that had my resume on it...
it's rainy and cold outside today. a perfect day to stay inside with the cat and a tasty cup of coffee in a special mug that my friend jsco sent me.
i have a load of laundry going, so at least i feel a bit productive this morning. i went to the grocery store yesterday and cleaned the bathroom, so that's two less chores for me to do today. i have to pay the dreaded bills, though.
another sucky thing about having days off that no one else does is just that ~ no one else has the same days off as me so i have no one to hang out with.
but, i do get to sleep in, so that's good.
i'm on a new makeup kick right now. i went shopping with my girlfriend when i was home last week and got some great new powder. it makes such the difference! i'm really amazed. i totally feel like a new woman when i wear it. okay, maybe that's going a little far....but it does make me feel good and looks very natural. my friend also turned me on to black nail polish. i am going to get some today. i have been seeing it around in ads and such, but she was the one who really pointed it out to me. i've been wearing vamp, by chanel, which is the original dark red color, but i'm ready to go black.
i also bought a new perfume when i was home. coco mademoiselle by chanel. it's scrumptious. i had been wearing kate spade for a while now, so it was time for a change. i LOVE the new perfume. i've never owned chanel before. it was such a treat! my mom wears no.5 on special occasions, so it definitly felt decadent to purchase chanel. i have gotten so many compliments since i bought it, which feels so good.
daytime tv is SO bad, but i just can't seem to turn it off. there's nothing but bad talk shows ~ the one that i am currently watching has cheaters trying to make up to their partners by doing stupid things like walk naked in a sandwich board saying they cheated and are sorry ~ cheap insurance comercials, weight loss comercials and technical school comericals. sadly, the demographic that daytime tv is meant for is just the type of people i work with. just add a bad grammar commercial and we'd be all set.
yeah...bad grammar. that is the worst! there is NO excuse for bad grammar. bad spelling, now that's a bit different. i don't spell so swell and i know it. but, i always use spell check when i can, especially with work emails and documents. it's so amazing to me that the people i work with just don't get it. it's so bad. and while i write with lower case here, i never do that at work. e.e. cummings wrote entirely in lower case, but that was his thing. writing in lower case in a professional environment is just not okay.
okay, enough of that rant!!!
the kitty wants to cuddle and is making typing a bit difficult.
it is so friggen cold today. i just checked weather dot com and it says it's 29 outside right now. and it's only supposed to get into the low 60's later today. my car was coated with frost this morning. thick frost, at that. brrrrr. good god it's cold! i'm so not ready for the cold.
yesterday i was so tired when i got home from work, that i took a nap. this nap was out of control, as i didn't get out of bed until 5:45 this morning! wtf was wrong with me? i was out! c checked on me a few times because he was worried. that was so weird that i slept so long. but i guess i needed it. i guess everything has caught up with me. i feel good today, though. i even slept with my contacts in and i NEVER do that. even when i was drinking, i took them out. i still don't know how i managed to do that at time though, especially in a blackout...but i digress...
my boss is gone for 2 weeks now...yipee! he's off getting married and going on a honeymoon and will have no access to anything here. hopefully things will be just fine while he's gone. i still am keeping my ears and eyes out for any other opportunities that may come my way. staying here for much longer is definitly not in the cards for me.
as i was surfing around a bit today, i found the greatest site. check it out!!!
http://www.shelfari.com/shell/shelf (i have also linked it on my site under amusing thots as my bookshelf)
as most of you know, i LOVE to read ~ and pretty much anything i can get my hands on, too. this site is fun and now when i'm looking for something new to read, all i have to do is check it out and see what other people are reading. since i'm not at home right now and don't have access to my everygrowing bookshelf, the books that are listed right now are only a begining. i'll update it more when i get the chance.
if any of you decide to make page, be sure to let me know so i can see what you're reading, too!!
i am getting picked up in 45 minutes to go to the airport. leaving here is bittersweet. every time i come to visit, i realize how much i miss LA. there's just so much to do here. so much life. so many different people. living in a small town just doesn't do it for me.
the weather down here is fantastic, too. yesterday and today it has been in the 80's. where i'm living now is already down to the low 60's, rainy and cool.
i love that my girlfriend and i had so many options of things to do the past two evenings. we ate great food, drove around the city and went to great shopping centers. i love how the city glistens in the dim evening light than goes to an all out sparkle in the night.
the funeral service was nice yesterday. it was at a cemetary near by where lot's of 'old hollywood' stars are burried. sometimes i think i was born in the wrong generation ~ that i should have been born in the 40's.l love that look and feel of old hollywood. my parent's neighborhood is like that too, with big spanish style homes, large magnolia trees that reach across the street making a big canopy for the cars to drive under, and beautifully manicured gardens. i miss that.
i'd move down here in a heartbeat, but c hates it down here, so we're stuck in northern ca for now. but don't get me wrong. i really like northern ca, too, but it's just not the same.
but, i did get some good eats, good shopping and good family time in.
LA is good. and bad. well, LA itself isn't bad, just the news when i got here last night. yep...another death. are you friggen kidding me?! my cousin in texas had a heart attach and died on saturday. he was only 49. this is just awful. his wife died of cancer two years ago and my uncle (his dad) died last year of heart problems. this is all so sad. my poor aunt! and my cousin's 2 kids! they are 20 and 21. so friggen sad to have both parents die.
the funeral this morning went well, at least. nice, swet and thoughtful. afterwards we went to Marie Callendars for lunch. it was a quiet day.
I went to dinner with my girlfriend and we checked out a new-to-me shopping center. it was nice to get out and nice to be in LA. I called in to work this afternoon after deciding to stay down here another day, and let them know i was needed here at home, due to all the recent tragedy. i took a really long 3 hour nap today. it was so peaceful and quiet.
but now i realize that i will not be home in time to vote tomorrow. well, i might be, but it will be darn close. my flight lands 6:20 pm and i have an hour drive, so we'll see it i make it by 8pm~
i feel like poo today. like a bad hangover, except i didn't drink. i did eat a lot of jalapeno poppers last night, so that might be what is causing my stomach to be upset. my head is achy and i just feel pooie and tired. i almost called in sick today, but figured since i'm leaving early anyway to fly down to LA, i couldn't really do that. i'll manage as we are going to be really slow today.
last night was a ton of fun, though, and i'm really glad i went. there were 18 of us total and it was great. they guys and a few of the girls were watching the cal vs. ucla game in the rec room and the rest of us girls played cards. it was cool being around so many like-minded people. it was also good to chat with the others and know that some of them were having a tough go at things right now with regards to jobs and buying homes. only one couple has a kid (the kid wasn't there) and that was nice, too. everyone had gone to college and had jobs and were either married or close to getting engaged. i miss groups like that. luckily, this group is pretty tight and manage to get together often enough to stay close.
one of the guys bbq'd steak and chicken and we had salad, corn on the cob and bread. i got to drive one of my friends new cars on a beer run. one of the upsides to staying sober! :)
maybe if i eat something now i'll feel better. i hate feeling pooie. :(
too many people are dying. i now have another funeral to go to. an old friend of the family just died the day before yesterday and i'm off to her funeral on monday. she introduced my parents and they have been married for 43 years now, so she's been around our family for quite a while. she would have been 99 in 2 weeks.
she's was always on my case about one thing or another, mostly about going to college, getting a good education and about how usc is the best school in the world. sadly, her grandchildren grew to resent me, as i was always around her and they weren't (they grew up on the east coast and i grew up only a few minutes away from her). since she lived in LA alone, she was always at our house for every holiday so she was always like a second oma. we even called her oma. she will be missed. but her time had come.
i'm flying to LA after work tomorrow and will return monday night. c isn't able to come with me since it's such short notice and he has a lot of work to do before he leaves his job in december. one of my girlfriends is picking me up at the airport, which is really nice of her, so i'll get to spend a little time with her as well.