skybluepink

so tomorrow is the closing of wife season. what, you may be asking yourself, is wife season? well, it's the season that i have, as a wife, that is in between the regular hunting season. yes, hubby is a hunter. saying he loves to hunt is an understatement. saturday is the opening of turkey season, thus the closing of wife season the day before. now, most people who meet hubby can't believe he's a hunter because he looks so GQ most of the time. he's really well put together, usually much better than me, but the boy sure does love to hunt. and believe me, he gets all geared up for it, too.

in fact, at our wedding, normal couples name their tables after honeymoon destinations or places that were special to them during their courtship, but not us. each of our tables were named after a different species of duck. the table we sat at was named sneaky leaf, after a product he uses for turkey hunting. my girlfriend, jacaradnabush, has taken to calling him sneaky leaf, which i find pretty funny.

sneaky leaf, for those of you not in the know, is a bunch of fake cloth leaves that one safety pins so ones camouflage outfit so that the turkey cannot see you when you are in the brush.

well, this whole week we've been watching turkey hunting dvds and hubby has been practicing his turkey calls. he's got his gear together i don't know how many times. i think it's cute. he's so friggen excited. last weekend he went hunting for wild boar and came home with 2 huge hogs. he and his buddy both got one. the large hog was 160 lbs and the smaller one was 110 lbs. it was crazy. we had spicy sausage for dinner tonight and it was awesome. it was by far my favorite game that i've had. i like pheasant a lot, but this beat that. so after tomorrow, i will be once again, a hunting widow. well, for a few weeks at least, until wife season begins again.

ah...and there goes another dvd in the player.....hot damn!!

it has been such a quiet day compared to the rest of the week. i really haven't gotten a lot of work accomplished today. i'm just so not motivated to do anything. and the weather is back to being sunny and nice. i met a girlfriend for lunch and we sat outside and i didn't want to go back in. i did a lot of surfing on line and found a bunch of cool websites and bought a new book and some new music.

i've had such a stressful few days that it's nice to have a slower day. last night i got the wireless up and running at home and that's fantastic. now i can be anywhere and be online, including outside, which is so great. sometimes i don't like sitting at a desk, especially when one of the kitties decides to take a crap and the litter box is so nicely next to the desk....

yesterday was my mom's 70th birthday and i didn't call. before the weekend i went home in january, i had seen a show that had such a beautiful gift. it was a heart and triangle pendant. the heart represented the adoptive mother and the triange represented the adoptive child. i thought it was really nice, so i bought one for her in 14k gold and one for me in sterling silver. after the weekend, i decided i couldn't deal anymore, and have not sent it to her and doubt that i ever will. my whole life i have never felt close to her, or anyone in my family, no matter how much i tried. i thought that maybe somehow, giving her the necklace would bring us closer, but that weekend was so awful, and my life without her for so long has been so great, that i just don't see the point anymore. when i look back on things in my life, i am saddened by the fact that i have never had a close relationship with either of my parents. i know they are not happy people and i have worked so hard to surround myself with people who are happy with themselves, so it's really best for me to keep away.

on a happier note, one of the guys i work with knows some people who have a goat farm. i'm going to go visit on saturday. they have 500 goats! and all the goats have a little collar on with their name on it. yes, each of the 500 goats have a different name. i can't wait. i love goats.

well, i need to head on home so i can clean up the house a bit. tomorrow is trash day so i try to do a general clean and get most of the stuff done so i don't have to do it all over the weekend. plus i know miss fleurs dropped off my weekly stash.....

what a day it has been. it's definitely been better than yesterday, but still way stressful. a guy that i work with drives me totally nuts and has been on my last nerve since last week. he and i just do not get along. unfortunately, he reminds me a lot of my mother, which doesn't help things very much either. but, what's worse is that my two bosses have been out of town since last wednesday and won't be back until next monday. luckily, this guy is only a contract employee and should only be with us until june. the last few days have been a nightmare with him, though. we now have to have a 'sit down' meeting when the bosses come back. not fun. i really like everyone else i work with/for and the work i do is great.

this guy just just.drives.me.nuts.

he totally gets in my way at work, thinking he can do my job and his, which he cannot. he makes so many errors and then turns around and blames them on me! luckily, i think my bosses see that, but i don't want to come off as a sniveling wench, either, so i'm really trying to keep my mouth shut on things.

i have a gnarly headache going right now so hopefully the coffee that i'm drinking will help it go away. the stoner guy that i work with just offered me some vicodin and pot. niiiiice. he's chillin at his desk with a beer. he has at least one each afternoon, sometimes two or three. he says it helps his creativity. he does do really good work...

i went to lunch with a friend and that was good. in fact, i took off for 2 hours because i could not deal at my office anymore without blowing up at the guy. i just get so annoyed when people think they can do my job and undermine me in the process. especially when it isn't their place to do anything with my job. grrr.

must think of the kitties..... :) aahhh...that's better.

i just want to go home and cry.

i am in such a bummer of a mood today. i feel just so down. no real reason, either. just down, like i woke up on the blue side of the bed or something. nothing has happened to make me feel this way, that i can think of, at least. all i want to do is curl up under the covers in bed with the kitties. i don't want to talk to anyone or do anything. just lay there and be.

this weekend was nothing special. friday night hubby and i went to dinner a diner in town that had fantastic burgers, onion rings and fries. we went to bed early as it had been a long week for both of us. saturday i had to get the oil changed on my car and that took forever. and hour and a half, to be exact. but, i got a 10% coupon for next time since i had to wait so long. since the weather was so nice out hubby wanted to go to the home improvement store to buy steer manure for the garden. we had to drive around to a few places to finally get what we were looking for as everyone else had the same idea we did and most of the places we went to were out.

by the time we got home, it was mid afternoon and i began to clean the house - it was a disaster. hubby worked out in the yard and was beat by the time he was done. we headed up to his folks house and sat in their hot tub for a while. it was great. they have redwood deck under all these beautiful trees and there were tons of birds out. it was very serene. by the time we got home, we didn't want to cook so i picked up some mexican food. we watched tv for a while then i headed off to bed with the kitties.

sunday i had to go into the office for a while - right now i'm working on 4 people's travel schedule in europe so since the time difference is between 8-9 hours depending on where they are - i have to do work at strange times. as i was leaving, the groundsman asked if i wanted a coffee, so we went to starbucks.

while there, i ran into a bunch of people i knew and ended up sitting outside with th e goundsman and 2 other friends. every time i go to starbucks or safeway, i run into people i know. i like that. well, today i don't think i'd like that so much as i'm feeling very antisocial today. but most days, i like to run into people.

later in the afternoon i went and got another tattoo. one of my girlfriends was going to go with me, but she ended up having to work. i got 3 cherry blossoms with a single petal falling on the inside of my left forearm. it's pretty big, actually. i do like it a lot, though. i like the symbolism a lot - each blossom represents something important in my life and the falling petal reminds me how delicate those things are.

i feel my life pulling me in a direction that i'm not so sure of. i really don't know where i'm going or what i'm up for, but i'm definitely going somewhere. something is happening, yet i can't quite put my finger on exactly what it is. maybe that has something to do with my melancholy mood today.

i ran out to my favorite, mcydees this morning and got a bacon,egg and cheese mcgriddle, but that didn't really cheer me up as i hoped it would. it was sure tasty, though.

i'm taking a late lunch today to take atty to the vet for his checkup. he has to get his rabies shot today, though, poor little buddy. hopefully i'll be able to get him in the box easier this time....

so the bosses are out of town for the next week and a half. but i have a lot to do here so it's not like i'll have that much free time.

i had to take atty to the vet this morning. seems he and finn were playing and finn scratched atty's eye. i'm so sad. his poor little left eye has a gnarly scratch and he's all teary from that eye. he's such a little trooper, though, and has been the biggest cuddle bug. but i need to get him in today so that he gets all better. i've been giving him extra love and giving finn the evil eye for hurting him. i know it was an accident, but still. the little bugger put up quite the fight getting into the cat box, so i ended up just grabbing him and putting him in my car. he did quite well at the vet's office, considering he got drops in his eye and was surrounded by strange people. i'll have to give him drops now 3 times a day until monday. when i got him home, he scurried straight away under the bed. poor little fellow.

anywho...last night went well. it was my second time speaking at a meeting and this meeting was tiny compared to my first go at it when i was just over a year sober. the first meeting had about 100 people and last night only had 12. it was still a bit nerve racking. but i managed to get through it. hubby decided he had to go hunting instead of being there. nice, huh!

but, i did get the nicest message from terry. it was such a wonderfully nice surprise. it almost made me tear up. thank you thank you thank you terry.

speaking of surprises, my folks called me last night. i decided to take their call and it was the same old stuff and i figured it would be. my mother berated me for disrespecting her by calling her a bitter old woman several times when i was home last. she demanded i apologize and i did, but didn't mean it. if that's what she wants to hear, then fine. but i'm not sorry i called her that. it's exactly how i feel. but whatever. things will never change with them and i have accepted that. when i told them yesterday was my 18 month sobriety date, they didn't really have a response. they said 'that's nice'. they have no concept of anything, but again, i have accepted that.

i'm drained from my vet visit and that i didn't take my heart medicine this morning because i didn't go to the pharmacy to pick it up. i'll go at lunchtime and take care of that, lest my heart keeps beating like i've run a marathon!

what a day. it was just a weird, crazy, monday. lots of things that could go wrong, did. and it seemed as though everyone was having a weird day, not just me. there was a lot of fussiness around my office, too. not really any directed at me, but still, it was there. i'm so glad the day is almost over.

i got a mani/pedi after work today in hopes of some relaxation, but that didn't really happen. i still had errands to run and groceries to buy. i finally made it home around 7 pm. as i was unpacking the groceries, hoping for some alone time, hubby wanted to go for a ride in his land cruiser, so of course i obliged ~ he had just gotten a lift kit installed and wanted to show it off. we finally got back around 7:30 and i was beat. i made dinner and screwed around a bit then had to make a flight reservation for someone at work.

finally, i have some time for myself.

the other day i mentioned to my boss how much i enjoyed using the powerbook and wireless while i was at his house and he said i could have the computer and he had an extra wireless router that i could have as well. i'm so stoked! our i-t guy will be out later this week (he lives in ny) and will install the router at my house. woo hoo! i am sooooo stoked.

and since i my ipod has died ~ the battery won't recharge at all anymore ~ i finally sucked it up the other day and ordered myself a new nano. it should arrive tomorrow. yay! it's hard being without music ~ especially while traveling.

speaking of traveling, we had a GREAT weekend this past weekend. we went to scottsdale, az for the giants spring training. it was so much fun! we took off early on friday and got back really late last night. the weather was fantastic ~ upper 80's, low 90's. on saturday we had general admission seats so we grabbed a spot on the lawn. sunday we had bleacher seats but scored some great seats in the shade that were even closer than our bleacher seats.

as a treat to myself, i rented an audi a4 so we drove around arizona in style. that was great! what a step up from my little saturn.

we also ventured to heaven for hubby. there's a store called cabela's and it's the hunting/fishing wonderland. i mean, this place is nuts! hubby has never been to one of their stores since they are mostly in the midwest. well, when we got to our hotel, i realized that a store had recently opened near where we were staying. it was so cool! we seriously stayed at the store for 2 hours and even had dinner there. it was pretty funny. hubby called 3 of his friend and his dad to share all his excitement. it really was cute. i actually think he took more pictures at the store than at the ball park!

over the weekend i realized that on the 21st of this month i will be sober for a year and a half. that is so wild to me. lately i've been having a hard time with it and am not sure why. i think my life has just taken some interesting turns and i've had less 'me' time. i've also been going to less meetings and connecting with fewer people. i just keep reminding myself of what i was like when i drank, and that pretty much kills any urge i have. i also have to keep chocolate, sparkling cider and coffee around. luckily, we have a coffee machine at work, so i'm never far from that! i could tell i was going a little nuts today when i loaded up the shopping cart with sweets! and it doesn't help that i'm about to surf the crimson wave, either.

* sigh*

i wish i could just chill out and relax.....crap. the cat is chewing on my bra strap......FINN!!!!!

while i was visiting miss gypsy , i found her latest post to be most creative so i thought i would attempt to replicate it here. so without further adieu, here is a list of my favorite words:

apropos

delicious

mischievous

dahlin'

wither

decadent

elfin

what are your favorite words?

1. Go here and select the year (in the left sidebar) you turned 18.
2. Paste the list of the top 75 songs.
3. Bold the ones you liked; strike the ones you disliked; and italicize the ones you knew but didn't exactly like or dislike.
The ones you don’t know will stay plain text.

1. What Is Love - Haddaway
2. Come Baby Come - K7
3. Hero - Mariah Carey
4. In The Still Of The Night (I'll Remember) - Boyz II Men
5. Have I Told You Lately - Rod Stewart
6. Can't Help Falling In Love - UB40
7. Dreamlover - Mariah Carey
8. Supermodel (You Better Work) - RuPaul
9. Nuthin' But A "G" Thang - Dr. Dre
10. Cryin' - Aerosmith
11. Murder She Wrote - Chaka Demus and Pliers
12. Shoop - Salt N Pepa
13. A Whole New World - Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle
14. Show Me Love - Robin S
15. I'm So Into You - SWV
16. Hip Hop Hooray - Naughty By Nature
17. Rhythm Is A Dancer - Snap!
18. All that She Wants - Ace Of Base
19. When I Fall In Love - Celine Dion & Clive Griffin
20. Hey Mr. D.J. - Zhane
21. Just Kickin' It - Xscape
22. That's The Way Love Goes - Janet Jackson
23. T-R-O-U-B-L-E - Travis Tritt
24. Please Forgive Me - Bryan Adams
25. No Ordinary Love - Sade
26. I Get Around - 2 Pac
27. Weak - SWV
28. Bad Boys - Inner Circle
29. Whoot, There It Is - 95 South
30. More and More - Captain Hollywood Project
31. I'm Gonna Be (500 miles) - the Proclaimers
32. I'm Every Woman - Whitney Houston
33. Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
34. I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do that) - Meatloaf
35. Love U More - Sunscreem
36. Knockin Da Boots - H-Town
37. Will You Be There - Michael Jackson
38. Connected - Stereo MCs
39. Passionate Kisses - Mary Chapin-Carpenter
40. Boom! Shake The Room - Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince
41. Baby I'm Yours - Shai
42. Freak Me - Silk
43. Reason To Believe - Rod Stewart & Ronnie Wood
44. Sweat - Inner Circle
45. Deeper and Deeper - Madonna
46. Another Sad Love Song - Toni Braxton
47. Can't Get Enough Of Your Love - Taylor Dayne
48. Ooh Child - Dino
49. Whoomp! There It Is - Tag Team
50. Two Princes - Spin Doctors
51. Informer - Snow
52. Slam - Onyx
53. Man On The Moon - REM
54. Insane In The Brain - Cypress Hill
55. Bed of Roses - Bon Jovi
56. Creep - Radiohead
57. Runaway Train - Soul Asylum
58. Cat's In The Cradle - Ugly Kid Joe
59. I Got A Man - Postive K
60 I See Your Smile - Gloria Estefan
61. Into Your Arms - The Lemonheads
62. Candy Everybody Wants - 10,000 Maniacs
63. Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.
64. Give It Up - The Goodmen
65. Dazzy Dukes - Duice
66. Jimmy Olson's Blues - Spin Doctors
67. What's Up - 4 non-Blondes
68. Kiss Of Life - Sade
69. River Of Dreams - Billy Joel
70. Rubberband Girl - Kate Bush
71. No Rain - Blind Melon
72. Feed The Tree - Belly
73. Sex Me - R Kelly
74. I'll Sleep When I'm Dead - Bon Jovi
75. Mr. Wendal - Arrested Developement

My,my. i guess things haven't changed too much. I still like those songs, and a whole lot more, too. I go thru phases on what genre I like the most at any given time, though I've never really been into rap. i can't say i ever really disliked any of the songs, but then again, i never listened to much of it. hip hop is always fun to get your groove on to and i'm always up for good alternative. and for a while there in college, i was really into country. now it totally depends on my mood.

what about you? what songs did you like when you were 18? let me know if you decide to play along!

so today we have to take photos for our id cards. since we work on super fly macs we have a built in camera in each computer so i have been playing with mine. this is the comic book version. it's my favorite by far.

did i mention that i LOVE my new job?!

today is 'super clean the house' day. it's a total disaster here. i'm not really motivated to clean right now ~ thus the blogging i'm doing ~ but i need to get with it soon. i have sooo much laundry to do, which i don't understand, because i just did it! i don't get how it all gets dirty so fast. it seriously must multiply when it's in the basket. and i have to do the bed linens. it's been a while and i think they can stand on their own at this point. ewww.

the weather has been a dream this weekend. yesterday it was about 68 and today it should hit 70. hubby and i took out the lawn chairs yesteday and sat in the sun for a bit. it was awesome. the wind picked up a little so i grabbed us blankets and we stayed a bit longer. there's nothing better than the warm sun on your face and the birds chirpping along side you.

ah...the cleaning psycho as come in the room. i better go before he blows his lid. do you ever watch south park? you know that charector whose name is tweak? yeah. that's hubby right now.