skybluepink

so yesterday i had dinner with lestat. he came up to see me and since i had avoided his visit for the past few months, i knew i couldn't hold out any longer. i was nervous to see him as i haven't seen him since i stopped drinking and didn't know if i could handle him without the comfort of an elixir to calm me down. i wandered around a bit and found a nice bench in the sun to relax on before he arrived. i called a girlfriend and chatted for a bit and that helped a lot.

i saw him drive by and park near me, but he didn't see me, about 20 minutes before we were to meet. my stomach fluttered with butterflies as i took in the sun and the breeze. i wandered around and took the long way to the restaurant. i arrived before he did and took a seat on the front patio and ordered a nice, cool club soda.

he wandered up and gave me a hug. i felt okay behind the table and out in the open air. we chatted like old times and not much had changed with him; still egotistical, political and arrogant. traits that i came to despise. he's definitly not the man i first met way back when. my nerves were calm and i tried not to hold direct eye contact for any length of time. he talked a lot about himself, which was fine, as it let my mind wander to other thoughts. he updated me on people i knew in my former life and asked me if i kept in touch with any of them. only a few, i said.

he had bought another car, another honda, and i acted excited for him, but could really care less. he acted all big and mighty, but he's just another state worker to me. his life is so fake to me that i don't know how i was sucked in in the first place. but then again, that was my past life. fast, furious, on top of the world ~ or so i thought at the time. i can't believe i used to be like that. i'm so glad i moved on from that.

i'm glad we met up so i could see what i am not missing. that life is gone and i have no regrets and no remorse. i do not want to be a politico anymore and do not miss being in the midst of it all at all. those people were never really my friends and they didn't help me get anywhere that i couldn't have gotten all by myself anyway. most of them aren't even making much of themselves, and the ones that are, are few and far between.

lestat will do fine at his government job, each one of them, as he changes jobs about once a year. well, maybe even more than that. it's just too bad that they all go to his head. just a little power, and poof, he's out of control. it's sad, really. but, that's the way the political world is.

he told me a story of how he went to the LA area for business and met with one of the big political guys down there and asked for a good place for lunch, where the locals go, and was directed to this big fabulous eatery on top of a hill. he was dissapointed that he wasn't directed to some great hole in the wall locals only type of place. when i told him that the politicos down there were out more to impress people rather than anything else, he looked at me like i had two heads. like i had no idea what i was talking about and that i had no idea about the LA political scene. um, okay guy. oh yeah, i forgot. you grew up in fresno and i grew up in LA, so you're right. you know way more about LA than i do. silly me.

anyhow, i'm so glad that it's all over. i did my deed, had dinner, and now i can go on with things. i declined his offer for a ride to my car, he gave me a half assed hug ~ the one arm sort ~ and drove away. i strolled back to my car, a soft breeze at my back, and was glad to get home to c.