skybluepink

i'm in a mood right now. mostly sad, alot confused. yesterday we had some friends over for a bbq. c set up a table under the big tree in our front yard and it was so nice. we snacked and chatted, then c got up and got the grill going. one would think all was going well. i had bought some beer for our friends and lots of sparkling water for me and c. i also bought some non-alcoholic beer, which i enjoy from time to time, mostly with c's dad, who also is sober. at any rate, c flipped out at me, saying that i was drinking regular beer and that i was acting just like i used to when i did drink. i was SO blown away. and really hurt. i thought we were having a lovely afternoon, but he obviously didn't think so. he confronted me in the kitchen, saying my eyes were all dialated and i was acting wierd. i didn't know what to say, i was so shocked. of course, i stumbled over my words because i was so baffled at what he was accusing me of, so that made matters worse. i just couldn't belive it. it also proved to me that he really doesn't know me at all. in no way was i acting 'out of control' or how i used to act when i was a big drinker. i was so shocked. i barley said anything for the rest of the time our friends were over, and since this incident occoured before we had even started on dinner, i was pretty quiet for a while. i made myself pretty scarce, doing dishes, playing with the cat and so on, but was still just crushed. after our friends left, i confronted him, and he just disregared my feelings and mumbled a half ass apology. i got ready for bed and he thanked me for putting together a nice party, and that was that. i'm still hurt and he just doesn't get it. i like to have a good time with people and i have a very outgoing personality ~ with or without booze ~ so it hurts that he doesn't recognize that.