skybluepink

allrighty...here's my new look. hubby and i had a big conversation about what has been going on with me the past week. i think he's a bit concerned. he brought up the large tattoo, he drastic hair change and the large purchases i recently made (new make up and some new clothes). i didn't really realize this was all happening so fast.

i know i've had a lot going on lately, but never really thought much about it. i know i've been in a dark place lately and i really don't know why. we talked about my lack of motivation in everything and my sullenness. it's really quite sad when someone else has to point these things out to you. i mean, i knew i had been in a funk, but didn't realize how bad it was. i have vowed to change things. and fast. i really don't like how things have seemed to spin out of control for me.

i asked hubby to wake me up early this morning and i got up and ran about a mile. well, run/walk was more like it. it did feel really good to get out, though. it was chilly and i could see my breath, but i also saw lamas, sheep, chickens and horses.

i really need to get with the program and stop being so sullen. it's getting old. and i don't like who i've become. thoughts of self hatred and worthlessness need to leave me. i need to focus on things that make me happy instead of things that bring me down. i used to be involved in things that i somehow have gotten too lazy to do anymore. i was a partylite rep and haven't done anything with it for about a month now. i need to get on with it and be a happy member of the world again. this lameness has got to stop. like five minutes ago. geesh.