Posted by maddie at 1:51 PM

so shortly after posting my last post, i lost it. utterly and completely. i just couldn't hold it in any longer. there is just too much pressure surrounding me these days. after talking with a friend over IM for part of the afternoon, i decided it was best for me to get away for a few days. i just really wanted to disappear, but decided that wasn't the most logical thing to do. i went to the grocery store on the way home from work and ran into someone i knew and stared bawling right there in the middle of safeway. it was awful. i went home and pulled myself together a bit, trying to distract myself by doing dishes, taking out the trash and doing laundry. hubby came home a while later and asked what was wrong. i told him about things at work and we had a normal conversation about it. i also told him i felt we were slipping apart and that we needed to do more together. he said he agreed, but that it was me who wasn't willing to do things with him. wtf? i didn't have the strength to argue with him, so i told him i wanted us to go away for the weekend. he said he had already made plans with friends and didn't want to break them. um...okay. i told him we could go someplace close, and he suggested driving to see one of his grad school friends. for god's sake! so i booked us a room up near the russian river, over looking the river and the redwoods. he said he didn't want to go. that he just wanted to stay in town this weekend. like we do every weekend. he said he had things to do. so fine. i will go alone. last night he asked me again if i was still planning on going alone. i said i was. that i needed to get out of town. to get away from things. i showed him where i had booked the room and he said it looked really nice and peaceful and that there were some great hiking trails. he then said he would cancel his plans and come with me. i just got off the phone with him. one of his friends and his wife will be in town tonight and wanted to know if we wanted to meet for a late dinner. um...no. he then said he will not be going with me tonight as he told his friend he would go running with him tomorrow morning then have breakfast. then he told me he has other personal things to do. WTF?! i asked him if he was having dinner with the other friends that were in town for the night. he said maybe. i asked if he wanted me to stay. he said it didn't matter either way. are you kidding me? i'm now feeling sick to my stomach, i think from the clam pizza i had for dinner last night. won't this all just end!?

 

5 Comments:

  1. Terry said...
    8:17 PM  
    Different stories but same difference.. Are we in the same boat but with only one oar???

    Scoot over chicky, let me row for awhile.

    I promise I will do my best to get out there soon!!!
    *~*Cece*~* said...
    9:25 AM  
    Oh Shell, I'm sorry. {{hugs}} It sounds like he's not being there when you need him. I wish there was something I could do to help you out.
    maddie said...
    10:02 AM  
    terry, i couldn't agree with you more! now hurry up and get out here!!!

    cece, if you could eat a tommy's burger for me, that would make me so happy that someone is thinking of me while enjoying my most favorite burger EVER. :)
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