skybluepink

i am so glad it's saturday. yesterday was a loooong day. my boss left early and one of the guys in my department pulled his 'i don't have to listen to shell' routine again. i'm over it. i let my bosses boss know what was going on and a conversation will be had on monday. this job is so much different than my previous jobs. the people here actually listen to me and value what i have to say. it's great. hubby commented this week that this is the first job that i have had since he has known me where i don't talk about it when i come home. it really does make a difference to work somewhere that i am happy at.

last night i went to a meeting then out to dinner with hubby, my sponsor, her husband and another friend. i had the hardest time paying attention during the meeting. i was so wound up! then afterwards i was just nutty. hubby said if there was a job that required a shit talker, i would definitely be the one for the job. i was on a total roll. i was cracking myself up. it didn't really stop at dinner either. luckily, everyone thought i was funny, too. i finally settled down once the food arrived, though.

as we were leaving, my sponsor made some comment on how she wants to hear from me more as she feels i don't call her enough. i said, jokingly, that the last time i checked, the phone worked both ways. she responded saying that she NEVER calls sponcees. geesh. i do have issue with this. i understand the theory of me needing to call my sponsor, but good lord. would it seriously hurt for her to pick up the phone every once in a while? and seriously? i'm not going to call her if i feel like picking up a drink. i'll call someone else. i'll call a girlfriend who understands me and knows me. yeah, i know my sponsor. but really? does she really care? i have no idea. that's the problem with aa. see, you're not supposed to say no if someone asks for help. on one hand, i understand that. totally. on the other, if you don't want to help them, why are you saying yes? just because you are supposed to? that's lame. maybe it's my whole 'i just want people to like me' thing. but if someone is so ambivalent about me, i really have a hard time with it. people have told me that you don't want to be friends with your sponsor. to think of a sponsor as a sort of therapist. but they are not a therapist. they are just someone who has the same addiction as i do. someone who understands what is going on. i don't understand why they can't be my friend, too.

i guess it's good that i have other friends in aa, but still. it's tiring. when i don't call my sponsor, i feel like she is disappointed in me and i'm so tired of that. hubby does the same thing. i get the tough love thing. really, i do. i grew up with it and i married into it. enough, already.

*sigh*

in other news...i just got a fun new book called 'love your handwriting'. you see, i'm a nerd and practice my penmanship all the time. really, i do. i write the alphabet over and over when i'm bored. anyhow, when i was at a baby shower last weekend, the girl hosting the shower is a big scrapbooker and told me about the book. so naturally, i had to have it. it arrived yesterday and is soo great! i highly recommend it. :) needless to say, i will be playing all weekend with it. after i clean the house, of course.

oh, and last night, hubby noticed the earrings i was wearing. some darling cross earrings from the fabulous wendy. anyhow, he asked if i was a templar in a prior life. nice, hubby. real nice. so naturally, i said i was. :)