skybluepink

today is the first day i want to cry. at work, that is. i really try so hard and i just hate getting shit on by people. this is the first place i have worked where i actually feel like i am respected. that when i say something, people listen. that my opinion actually matters. that i am of value to the organization. sure, people joke around, but they are good natured about it and know the right time and place for it.

but sometimes, my boss doesn't. i know he has a daughter my age and i think he sees me as some dumb, young girl. but i am smart, damn it.

the hardest part for me is that my positon never existed before and i have to do everything from scratch. and while i do answer to my boss, i also have to follow up with him to make sure he is doing his work, which is a pretty crappy thing. the department i'm working in has no real accountability, so it is part of my job to make everyone accountable for their work and they don't like it one bit. i know it must be tough for some girl to follow up with a bunch of men, asking them for progress updates on the projects they are working on.

but good lord. my boss thinks he's funny when he cuts me down in front of other colleagues, calling me 'dumb butt' or telling me to get to work. it's not cool at all. it makes me feel stupid and i hate it. i have told him as much, but well, it falls on deaf ears.

yesterday afternoon there was an issue that was brought to my attention so i gave the job to one of my guys. i followed up with him a few hours later and he got all pissy with me for following up with him. i let my boss know and he said he would talk to the guy. as i was leaving work, i got another message about the same issue from the general manager. then this morning, my bosses boss called me with the same issue, yet again. so, i asked my boss if the situation had been taken care of and what was done. he totaly yelled at me! he said the the job was taken care of and when i asked what had been done, as i had to inform the others, he said "i told you it was done, and that's enough for you." he then hung up on me.

wtf?!

he then came into the office and said the same thing to me again. i told him that i needed to know what was going on because the general manager and his boss were asking me. he said he had already told them and when he tells me things are taken care of, that should be enough for me.

are you fucking kidding me? the whole reason i was hired was to make these guys accountable and when the won't tell me what the fuck is going on, then what the hell am i supposed to do? and how am i supposed to feel?