skybluepink

have you ever had one? i have. i will say that it was fantastic. and horrible. at the same time. i never had the intention of having a secret lover, but it just happened. and it actually lasted for quite a long time. it started out innocently enough, just flirting and secret glances. but it soon progressed to much more.

it was only supposed to happen once. but it didn't. it actually turned into a full fledged relationship. well, as much as a relationship in secret can be. we were cautious and aware. we were hardly out alone, always going out in groups, but then meeting secretly afterwards. or before. we would have lunch or coffee together, but that wasn't ever seen as odd as in our work environment, everyone ate together. it was a very incestuous environment so everyone was always seen together.

we went to a lot of events, but never showed up together. we didn't leave together either. everyone knew we were very close, but then again, that environment produced a lot of close relationships due to the crazy work hours and way of life the industry demanded. we both worked in prominent offices that allowed us to be together often as our worked overlapped pretty much each and every day. and even when it didn't, we were still around each do to the close proximity of our offices.

when our work demanded us to take trips to conventions, we always managed to sit next to each other on the airplane and vans, though we were careful to be as innocent about it as possible. sort of how we 'just happened' to find the last seat next to each other.

we were charming and witty to everyone around us, so it didn't look like we were treating each other differently in the eyes of our colleagues. i'm not sure if people suspected things, but if they did, no one ever said anything.

sadly, he didn't take power all that well. as he started getting promoted, his ego grew exponentially. it became so ridiculous that i could no longer see him. he became someone i didn't want to be around and that made me sad. i longed for the man he was when i first knew him. i wanted his delicate kisses. his soft touch that would make me melt. the intimacy and passion that we had together has never been duplicated for me and i miss that. i miss him.