skybluepink

i was so wound up today and for no real reason, either. maybe it was because i realized at some point that tomorrow was thanksgiving and i'm off for the next 4 days. at any rate, i was pretty useless at work today. i had more squirrelly energy and it wasn't because of all the coffee and chocolate i had, either. something else is buzzing inside me. i just don't know what it is.

once at home, i chatted online with terry, with whom i hadn't talked to in a while, then headed out for my wednesday nite aa meeting. the meeting went well and a friend of mine spoke. i had never heard his story and it was really good. i could actually relate a lot to it, even though our stories are nothing a like. i was still full of weird energy then as well.

as we were leaving, hubby got on my case for being too flirty again. it bothered me because i really didn't think i was. he doesn't like my friend because he thinks he's weird, and so he got on my case for hugging my friend. he then commented that i was too flirty with a guy i work with when we went to dinner the other night. i know i was friendly, but i really didn't think i was being overly flirtatious. i do try hard not to be, but i told hubby that i'm just friendly in nature and that he's introverted as i'm extroverted.

by the time i got home, i was more mellow. i know i look for attention from others because i feel like i don't get it from hubby at home. he just doesn't look at me the way other people do, even my girlfriends. i took some advil pm to help calm me down and it's finally working a bit. i still don't know why i've been so wound up.

atty has curled up in my arms and i have my little heater going. i'm going to miss him while we are gone. i know it sounds silly, but i will. he's my little buddy who loves me unconditionally. and he loves to cuddle more than anything.

we're heading out tomorrow morning. hubby wants to get on the road early. check-in isn't until 3p, so we really don't have to leave that early. neither one of us is remotely ready to go, so hopefully hubby will actually sleep in a bit. but i can't wait to get to the coast. i really miss it. the ocean just calms and sooths me. maybe that's what i need.

i just want to curl up and stop time until i feel like being present again.