to my friends: i love you. you know who you are. *the white polar bear, california sister, wuschi, flowergirl, to name a few*

to everyone else: leave me the fuck alone. i swear to god, i am so tired of people. just please, leave me the fuck alone! why do you all need to me on my case over every damn little thing? okay, so maybe i'm just sensitive and need to be washed in woolite today, but honestly, it's getting to be a bit much these days.

to my colleagues: must you point out every little thing? can't i walk into work at 7 am without someone commenting that i look tired?'s 7 in the morning. i haven't had my coffee yet. of course i'm tired, dumbass! yes, my hair is wavy today. i took a shower last night and went to bed with my hair wet and this is the result. no, i didn't do anything to it. hell, i didn't even brush it. it just looks cool without any effort. so there.

to one of the bob's: no, i did not check on your group yesterday. in case you haven't noticed, all the additional work you have given me is filling up my day so much that i don't have time for every tiny little thing that you should be working on in the first place but are having me do because you are too lazy, you fat ass!

to c: just because i can ignore the cat's meowing in the middle of the night and you can't is no reason to get fussy with me. stop trying to get me out of my slumber to go deal with the cat. you deal with him if he wakes you up. i'm sleeping, damn it!! and stop kicking me to get out of bed when the alarm goes off. i hear it. so maybe i just want to hit snooze a few times. leave me alone and let me snooze! i let you snooze.

and stop asking me to cut the roses. i told you i would cut them, didn't i? we're not leaving until tomorrow evening to go to LA, so i have plenty of time to get it done. last night i was paying bills when you were hounding me. why can't you let me do things on my own terms? why must i always do things on someone else's terms? so i ended up cutting the roses after i paid the bills just so he would shut up about it.

i hate that. it's not that i don't do things, i just do them when i want to do them. not when other people want me to do them. everything i do gets done, and in a timely matter, and done well. it's not like i'm slow or procrastinate. i'm usually doing another task, then when i'm done, i will get to your task. people drive me crazy, and definitely not in a good way.

to someone in the program: yes. i know that i have a drinking problem. i am well aware of that. you don't need to remind me. i am not drinking now, am i? i call you when i have a problem, don't i? i do not need to call you all the time to talk about nothing. don't tell me what you think my problem is. you have no idea what my problems are. sure, you may have incite that i don't have. but you don't know everything. sure i have issues with my parents. but they are not the source of my drinking problems. i'm pretty sure they only have a very small part in the whole thing. i'm not worried about seeing them this weekend. i'm never worried about seeing them. i'm not lying when i say that, so stop telling me that i am. i can deal with them. stop telling me otherwise. stop telling me that since i haven't been home since i've been sober that i will have a hard time. i won't. home wasn't a place i drank a lot. i rarely ever drank there. and certainly not when i was drinking heavily. i only did that one time at home. and that was about a week before i got sober. my parents have so little to do with my drinking, so leave me lone on that!!! and stop telling me that i need to go to more meetings because i am going home this weekend! just stop. i know when i need to go to meetings. going home does not mean i need to go to more. i have looked up meeting schedules and will probablly go while i am at home, but not because of how i will feel around my parents. they are a different issue entirely. i know you are trying to help me, and i understand that. i respect that. i understand you have difficulties with your parents as well, but trust me on this, mine are in a world all their own and they do not relate to my drinking in the way you think they do. when i think of them, i never think of a drink. they do not invoke that need in me whatsoever. what they invoke is entirely different!

now my mocha is cold. but, it's still delish, so that's good. i had them make it with raspberry today because i deserved it. mmmm.

and i also want k to know that i'm proud of her for voting. you're awesome american and you rock! :)


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